Hmmm…does anyone know the feeling of being convicted by a powerful preaching
and am really excited about it and
then at the same time am confused about certain stuff??
Yesterday went for the revival conference in church…
It was GREAT…its beyond words can describe…
It makes me realise that how far have I been away from the presence of God and what I’ve depriving myself of for the recent few weeks that had passed…
Oh well…then this morning…there’s this nagging feeling tugging at me again…
I know that certain things are wrong…
Its so hard to change man…

Aiyah…
Dunno man…
I felt so caught in between man…
I feel so much younger than them and not be able to provide any constructive advice
Then I’m scared that things will happen
Then things will get complicated…
Hmmm…why am I in this position?
Sigh…

Gosh…
Its teacher’s day already…
Still undecided on whether I’m going back to Anderson not…
Peiyun and hannee not going back I guess…
Then it’s not exactly there aren’t people that I wanna see…
Just feel a sense of loneliness and the inability to click with the rest…
And you’re supposed to be with you ‘friends’ yah?
Sigh…I dunno how long I’ll take to overcome this man…
Why do I have bad and none lasting friendships all the time??
I thought I’ll stop in sec sch…sigh…

Lost my pencil box…
Left it in school yesterday and it was not here in the morning…
Well…that gives me an excuse to buy a new one…
But I’m currently broke for one…
And there are my njc and sa coller pins on them and
My Anderson name tag and badge…
Thank God I removed my other badges already…

hmmm...sigh...
there are feelings that i cant put into words...
i dunno how to say...
_____________________________________________

if you get there before i do
dont give up on me
i'll be there when my trials are through
i dont know how long i'll be
but i'm not going to let you down
darling wait and see
and between down and then
till i see you again
i'll be loving you
love me

--colin raye love me hmmm...
quite an eventful day since the start of this morning man...
mr wee gathered all the christians in the college together in the audi...
then i guess what he said well...convicted me quite abit...
many times...we live our lives and totally forgot about this...
being a christian...vision
"to know Christ better and to make Him known"
i guess many of us just go through with the mottion of life and totally ignore the great comission...
i cant help but feel guilty being one of those people...
i use excuses like i cant talk well and stuff to deter me from reaching out...
the Holy spirit ministered to me right there and i just cant help it...
tears just start to roll down my cheeks...
i re-dedicated my life to the Almighty Father...

that aside...
i'm really feeling tired right now...
reach home at like midnight after work...
not exactly after work...
left the workplace at like 10.30pm man...
then went for a drink with ash...
erm...just ice milk tea from the mos burger dwstairs...
then sat there and talked for awhile...
then we walked la...
this time i decided that we should really not walk to my house if not she'll have to take cab home again...
and if we really walk all the way to my house like on friday...
my dad will positively screw me man...
i reached home at like 1 am on friday...
*bleah*
sigh...i think that there's a misunderstanding man...
apparently esther thinks that there is sth going on between me and ash...
but please lo...as if man...
anyway i was rather pissed off...
coz i dont see why it is of any business of esther
to know or have a say in who i hang out with lo....
*bleah*

crap...i'm crapping...
anyway...sth interesting to note here...
saw this really disgusting 'woman' outside mos yesterday...
perhaps that's the after effects of sex change or sth...
well...it still gives me goosebumps when i recall man...
gosh out...
oh yah...
passed by some pubs along the walk home on friday...
and passed by this gay pub...
interesting...maybe can go explore it someday man...
i'm curious about what goes on inside...haha...
oh well...

hmmm...i guess that feelings really will fade...
i mean i dunno la...
but i guess i'm not feeling as bad now...
maybe it's not fading but i think i've chosen to let go...


You know you make me wanna.
You know you make me wanna.

To start it off I know you know me
To come to think of it, it was only last week.
That I had a dream about us, oh.
That's why I am here, I'm writing this song.
To tell the truth you know I have been hurting all along,
Someway let me know, you want me girl.

Everytime you see me what do you see?
I feel like I'm a poor man and you're the queen.
Oh baby, you're the only thing that I really need.
Baby that's why:

You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul.
I know this is a feeling that I just can't fight.
You're the first and last thing on my mind.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul.

Well I know that these feelings won't end no, no.
They'll just get stronger if I see you again.
Baby I'm tired of being friends.
I wanna know if you feel the same
And could you tell me do you feel my pain?
Don't leave me in doubt.

Everytime you see me what do you see?
I feel like I'm a poor man and you're the queen.
Oh baby, you're the only thing that I really need.
And baby that's why:

You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul.
I know this is a feeling that I just can't fight.
You're the first and last thing on my mind.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul.

I'll take you home real quick
And sit you down on the couch
Pour some Dom Perignon and hit the lights out.
Baby we can make sweet love.
Then we'll take it nice and slow.
I'm gonna touch you like you've never know before
We're gonna make love oh' woo' oh.

blue you make me wanna oh...
i should really go...
but i thought of sth...
was in church for bible study yesterday...
then it was about what are the ways to destroy and build relationships...
was thinking that i must have been a really bad person or sth...
sigh...
dunno la...
cause it seems like i dun really have good relationship with people...
i recall what zequan said...
like she totally dislike me and stuff...
then what eunice said on mon...
am i really that detestable till you get to know me...
i'm just like that...
perhaps its wrong...
crap man...
what can i do??
sigh...
dont think that it's up to me to decide man...
crap...
then there's this point about you cant love others as yourself if you dont love yourself...
i was like "wow"
but...how you love yourself???
so i guess that till i learn how to love myself...
i dont know how to really love people...
______________________________________________

i thought i knew...
i thought that i love you
but i guess...
i havent really love you...
is that true??
je t'aime??
what about you??
_______________________________________________

how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where i’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

(wake me up)
wake me up inside
(i can’t wake up)
wake me up inside
(save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(i can’t wake up)
before i come undone
(save me)
save me from e nothing i’ve become

now that i know what i’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

(wake me up)
wake me up inside
(i can’t wake up)
wake me up inside
(save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(i can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time i can't believe i couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
i’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

evanescence
bring me to life
____________________________________________ oh man...
only have like 5 min before i have to go down and change for training...
just finished a GSC test in the lib
which conveniently allow me to skip maths...
they got back the test we took yest...
which i failed...
damn...
i need my ao maths to keep at least one of my A1 man...
sucks...

my toe healed by itself...
miracle!!!
haha...
thot they say have to cut it out or sth...scared me to death...
but the encounter with the principal was not pleasant still...
then i had to spend tues avoiding all 'impt' people...
haha...

some guy that i used to like msg me yest...
nah...no more lovey feeling for him already...
bleah...
he thought that i'm still in njc man...
how outdated can he get...
hope things go well for him though...
i still wish him well...
just that no more feelings for him...
gosh...have always been worried about his studies...
hope that he do well for his o levels....

three cheers for winnie...
she have managed to conmplete putting together the written report...
yeah!! what would we do without you??
hmmm...that gets one thing off my mind for now...
but there are still dozens more...
sigh...

bleah...got alot to say but really need to go for training...
hope that we'll get to watch the game between our guys and NYJC guys...
oh well...
shall go for now...
adios...
arrgh...
just ran into the principal on my way to the library man...
then she was like
"girl, how come you are wearing slippers?"
so i went on to tell her that i've got an in-grown toe and that
it hurts so cant wear shoes that kind of thing...
and i dont have sandles...
then she said
"then you should invest in a cheap one...looks bettr than slippers"
oh man...wad a way to let the principal remember you man...
better dun let her catch me trying in my shoes later...
haha...

had a long week...
last week was good...
the Bible studies were Great...
just that it took away alot of time...
but i believe that God is there...
so i managed...
i think that wad left me most touch by the presence of God is
the preaching where pst Kong said sth that left an impression...
the name Zechariah means 'Yahweh Remembers'
i guess at that moment
i feel so love...
like all my worries...problems...
no matter which areas...
God is there...
i guess there are somethings like friendship...
i was like "God...you told me to trust and its sth that i've committed to You'
why did it turn out like that now?"
then the response at that instance was...
"hey...I remember..."
i almost broke down into tears...

the new worship song simply re-enforces this...
" Lord You are always here with me
there is no changing God in Thee
You are the same yesterday
and today and forevermore
here on Your Promises i stand
You hold my future in Your Hands
my Solid Rock
Almighty God
i worship You..."
it was damn good...

was so sad that i missed the hillsongs conference man...
heard about it from winnie and yvonne...
wished i was there man...
bleah...
i had to work lo...
sigh...

hmmm...there seemed to be some problems between the people at work...
i hope that they will be ok soon...
i mean...oh well...
anyway...nic and syves asked a very funny question yest...
asked if i was crooked before...
i was like
"..."
haha...i leave it to their imaginations...
i mean...it's not that hard to guess la....
i mean its not right la...
wonder why they have that sort of thoughts anyway...
haha...

GP totally sucks...
i swear that lily lim is going to kill me soon...
all the talking back to her and sacar...
haha...but i'm not apologetic lo...
i dun think that she deserve anything such as respect...
i know that it's mean la...
i try not to do anything...
but she gets on my nerves and all the kind gestures were not appreciated...
talk about being a professional...
she lacks all the qualities man...
sheez...
i TRIED to be nice already lo...

i'm hungry...
shall go grab some food...
wldnt be in the lib...
if not for printing(what else but) GP handouts...
coz she wan a hard copy...
bleah...
_________________________________________

je t'aime...
do you know??
then why are you doing this to me?
Any time I need to see your face,
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola

I don't need to try and explain;
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
so slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
of the human cannonball
That I need to, I want to

Come stand a little bit closer
Breathe in and get a bit higher
You'll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out
Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out

I'm the kind of person who endorses
a deep commitment
Getting comfy, getting perfect
is what I live for
But a look, then a smell of perfume
It's like I'm down on the floor
And I don't know what I'm in for

Conversation has a time and a place
In the interaction of a lover and a mate,
But the time of talking,
using symbols, using words
Can be likened to a deep sea diver
Who is swimming with a raincoat

Come stand a little bit closer
Breathe in and get a bit higher
You'll never know what hit you
When I get to you

Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out
Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out

Any time I need to see your face,
I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place where
your crystal mind and
Magenta feelings take up shelter
in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola

I don't need to try and explain;
I just hold on tight
And if it happens again I might move
so slightly
To the arms and the lips and the face
of the human cannonball
That I need to, I want to

Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out
Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out
So can we find out?


Savage Garden I Want You
had a drive driven by your love
but when you messed around i lost the drive i found
thought you needed needed someone true
but you changed your mind or had i failed you

wished you've been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart and broke an angel's heart
i guess what's true has an end somehow
but i am living proof of what love is about

it's hard holding you loving you losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know i gotta go wanna know
should i stay or should i go

you played me on played me like a clown
but i feel for you even though i'm down
my heart is heavy heavy like a rock
but i am so amused you're still in my thoughts

what's done is done and i'll never feel the same
but we had some good times guess it's sad just the same
i guess the truth doesn't matter somehow
but you were living proof of what love is about

dreamz fm should i stay
____________________________________________________

that's the song that i'm kinda struck on recently...
think that it's nice...
local band are not that bad...

it's GP now but lily lim is not in school...
collective shouts of happiness from students of arts zero three a twenty one...

weekend...
a long one...
what i did...
pierced my ears(again)
took funny photos at the ban shears bridge
after we missed the fireworks...
lifted up my mood for a while...
slack alot...
alot of thinking...
alot of struggling...
alot of falling...
it hurts...
heart torn into pieces...
pain...

sigh...
i guess that the past few days are totally wasted...
no work done and stuff...
was at suntec on sat night eating dinner at the fountain area...
suntec has dozens of memories...
not all that pleasant...
then there were all the dedications...
all damn sweet...
all the songs are so familiar...
ouch...makes me damn sad...
i guess that the truth is setting now...
i have to learn to live with it man...
it hurts...

days passed...
i struggled...
after making decisions and convicted...
once and again...
after that...
i fell again...
hard...
i told myself to pick myself up...
will be ok for a while
then i fall again...
it's all so difficult man...
i know that i've done wrong...
i know that it's wrong...
i feel unworthy of God's forgiveness...
but i know that i shall never leave God...
that's a promise i made to myself...
a vow to God...
i'll never leave...
sigh...

days after...
the pain still lingers...
how can i get through this??
God...
gonna help me get thru this...
pain...
when will it ever stop...
when will i pick myself up again...
heartache...
heartbroken...
it's all in the past...
stop dwelling...



If only I could get through this
I get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, make it, make it through
I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

When your love is falling like the rain
I close my eyes and it falls again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, make it, make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

When your love is falling like the rain
I close my eyes and it falls again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
If only I could get through this
God, gotta help me get through this
If only I could get through this...

Daniel Bedingfield Gotta Get Thru This

there's a lot of things i understand,
And there's a lot of things,
That i don't want to know.
But you're the only face,
I recognize, it's so damn sweet of you,
To look me in the eyes.
It's all right, i'm o.k.,
I think god can explain,
I believe i'm the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, i'm o.k.,
I think god can explain
I'm relieved, i'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,
The scent of vaseline,
In the summertime,
The feel of an ice cube,
Melting over time,
The world seems bigger than both of us,
Yet it seems so small,
When i begin to cry.
It's all right, i'm o.k.,
I think god can explain,
I believe i'm the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, i'm o.k.,
I think god can explain
I'm relieved, i'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,
I'm so much better than you guessed,
I'm so much bigger than you guessed,
I'm so much brighter than you guessed.
It's all right, i'm o.k.,
I think god can explain,
I believe i'm the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, i'm o.k.,
I think god can explain
I'm relieved, i'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,
I'll get off of your back,
I think god can explain.
I think god can explain.
I think god can explain.

--Splender
--I Think God Can Explain



I've never had a feeling so right
Like I have with you
Can't explain the things you do
But boy when you tell me softly you love me too

It's like I know we were meant to be
So for eternity you will have a part of me
And all I need is for you to stay right here with me - yeah

Time goes by but we stand still (know it does, I know does)
Love you for eternity I will (I will)
I know that we were meant to be (we were meant to be, my love)
That's how I feel when you're with me

You are the reason that my heart beats
And no I never thought, I would ever fall so deep
But now I see that the love that we share
Is oh so sweet

What if I told you that I believe (believe)
That you are my soul, my destiny (my destiny, yeah)
What if I was to say
In every way
Deep in my heart is where you'll be (time)

Time goes by but we stand still (I'm still right here)
Love you for eternity I will (I'll never go)
I know that we were meant to be (we were meant to be)
That's how I feel when you're with me (how I feel, when you're with me)

Time goes by but we stand still (oh time, oh time)
Love you for eternity I will (eternity I will)
I know that we were meant to be (we were meant, baby love)
That's how I feel when you're with me

As you hold me close so tenderly
And watch you fall to sleep
I see in you the one who now completes (you the one)
The half of me I used to be (I used to be)

Yeah

Time goes by but we stand still
Love you for eternity I will (eternity I will)
I know that we were meant to be (were meant to be)
That's how I feel when you're with me (feel when you're with me baby)

Time goes by but we stand still (but we always stand still, babe)
Love you for eternity I will (stand still babe, and I know)
I know that we were meant to be (yes we were)
That's how I feel when you're with me

Time goes by but we stand still
Love you forever, yes I will
I know we're meant to be
That's how I feel baby

--Spice Girls
--Time Goes By

it somehow seem to be true that nothing last forever...
so many promises that are never fufilled...
seemed like those promises are only those "at the moment" sorta thing...
why do people actually make promises and not keep them??
it hurts the people whom the promiser made the promise to...
it is not just about a unfilled promise
but also about the scar that will be with that person wherever
the person choose to go...
and because of one broken promise...
the person might not ever trust again...

sometimes it's hard to let go...
but it's difficult to be the only one holding on...
when it's time to let go...do it...
let the person you love chase after the dreams
and everything else that she seeks to find...
as long as she is happy...
you will be happy when the person you love is happy...
although along with the smile that lit up ur face
when you know that everything is well for her...
is the tears you tried so hard to hide...
every little thing ard will remind you of the times that were spent together...
and you know that these time will never come back...

No no no no
No no no no

Listen little child
There will come a day
When you will be able, able to say
Never mind the pain, all the aggravation
You know there's a better way
For you and me to be

Look for the rainbow in every storm
Fly like an angel heaven sent to me

Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)

It's not the end
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no
No no no no

Just a little girl, big imagination
Never letting no one take it away
Went into the world, what a revelation
She found there's a better way for you and me to be

Look for the rainbow in every storm
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)

It's not the end
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no
No no no no (You know it's time to say goodbye)
No no no no

The times when we would play about
The way we used to scream and shout
We never dreamed you'd go your own sweet way

Look for the rainbow in every storm
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)

It's not the end
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it

No no no no
(You know it's time to say goodbye)
No no no no
(And don't forget you can rely)
No no no no
(You know it's time to say goodbye and don't forget on me you can rely)
No no no no
(I will help, help you on your way)
No no no no
(I will be with you every day)
No no no no...

is it time to leave??
is it time to go??
take care my dear
wherever you go..
OLDER | NEWER