hmmm...having break now...
again...wad's new...
err...actually its maths tutorial now...
but i've decided to go only for math lect and not for the tut...
scold me if you want but i thought that was a waste of time...

that stupid chinese teacher is a toot face...
yest i had to skip her lesson coz got some s pp talk...
dont understand why you have to go though you hav been rejected...
but dont think that i can cope with it anyway...
dont have the time to do that sort of thing...
though it totally dash any hopes of scholarship now...
anyway...
then she ask me how come i didnt go for lessons...
was supposed to have lessons with her then la...
then she caught me eating in the cafe after that...
was eating before i go for my dental appointment...
then she totally blast at me...
poot...she wad purposely miss her lessons...
but got her lessons EVERYDAY...
so when appointment also will affect one right??
dumb toot face...
she just damn bias...
the student went to class late for like 40 mins she didnt scold
den i was just ten min late...
she kept scolding...
poot head...
arrgh/...

the sky is finally clearing up after one whole week of rain...
supposed to be showers of blessings
cos it stop the birds from migrating and bringing the bird flu to spore
but PROLONG period of rain that interrupts trg is irritating...
anyway had training yest and we did 2.4 overlapped...
quite good if you ask me...
though there's room for improvement...
almost died running cos i was coughing then feeling real uncomfy...
but we made it through...
friendly today with durearn sec...
MJC was supposed to play with us yest...
but the girls team didnt come down...
only the guys though...
cant helped but to agree with geok that all these friendly
is to help mr tan see and choose the team...
so the selection has already began...
arrgh...they sorta think that i'll surely get in...
but i'm not so sure about that...
should nit be complacement...
the ball is round...
all you guys...pray for me!!!
sigh...

been going for morning worship for the past 2 days...
though its really a torture to wake up so early each day...
i think its worth it...
when you feel the presence of God rain upon you...
wad wld i do and who wld i have become without Him?

===

feeling even closer to her now...
dont want her to take your place...
but i know that she never will...
cos i dont want her to...
there's always a special place here for you in my heart...
really...always...
love you still...

===
here's my fave worship song at the moment...
it's really nice...

i love to worship You, my God
i love to worship You, my Lord
and see Your Spirit fall in power
Your love unfolding
gifts from heaven

i love to worship You, my God
i love to worship You, my Lord
and feel Your precious
breath of heaven
Your all consuming love

Holy Spirit come in power
change my heart
i want to live for You, my God
let Your Spirit come in power
change my life
that I may live for You my Lord
fall on us Lord

so I yearn for You
long to see You move
Lord, I lift my hands before my King and pray

--fall hillsongs australia
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
everyday is so wonderful
then suddenly
its hard to breathe
now and then i get insecure
from all the fame
i'm so ashamed

i am beautiful no matter what they say
words can't bring me down
i am beautiful in every single way
yes words can't bring me down, Oh no
so don't you bring me down today

to all your friends youre delirious
so consumed in all your doom
trying hard to fill the emptiness
the pieces gone
left the puzzle undone
aint that the way it is?

u are beautiful no matter what they say
words cant bring u down
no no
cos u are beautiful in every single way
yes words cant bring u down
Oh no
so dont u bring me down today

no matter what we do
no matter what we say
we're e song inside the tune
full of beautiful mistakes
and everywhere we go
the sun will always shine
and tomorrow we might awake on the other side

beautiful christina aguilera

===

hmmm...now in the library trying to finish up or rather start doing some GP ting
bad...its due today..hahax...

some dumb t'cher caught me for my hair...
say wad to wash away my gel and comb it down...
then i was thinking that i was not even using gel in the first place..
then if i wash it off the hair is going to stand even more...
well...its some dumb t'cher anyway...
i dun really care about her...

it was a sinful day yest...
went so many place and ate so many stuff...
to find out that trg was changed to tml...
doesnt help if i wanna lose weight...
hahax...
went to peiyun's place then jo's then eunice's
after which i went to holland v...
was supposed to meet ash for dinner...
but then i went late and was not hungry...
so i decided that i didnt want to eat...
then she and her friend went to this place for a drink
then i have to tag along...
feel so dumb la...
then there was some stupid lion dance at the opposite street...
its like super noisy...
dumb dumb...
then her friend went off...
so we went to hagen dazz...however you spell it...
and i had a super big brownie...
bad...
coz its super sinful and fattening la...
yapz...anyway then it got rather cold and then we left...
that stupid girl found out that i didnt had a bus back from there...
flagged a cab and sent me back...
waste of money...
but at the end i was rather grateful...
was too tired and cold and pained to retailate...

it just dawned on me that one month had already passed...
bad...
means that we have a month less...
oh my God...
means we're a month closer to the a levels...
help...
someone ought t kick my ass and get me going...
seemed like the rest of the class is moving on while i'm still laggin behind...

===

i have a question to ask...
but i noe that i wldnt
and i wldnt gather the guts to do that...
do you love me still??

=== hmmm...its new year...
err...not really at this point in time anymore...
its the 4th day of new year le...
hahax...but still...

burnt my leg while riding my cousin's bike...
on that stupid exhuast pipe...
then there's a scar now...
bleah...

hmmm...managed to catch a few movies over the few days...
magic kitchen starring sammi cheng and jerry yan...
then also stuck on you starring matt damon...
funny comedy...
have yet to catch the last samurai and peter pan...haha

have lotsa homework to do...
and i havent gotten around to doing them...
sigh...

training going to start officially after the cny...
so i guess there's only 1.5 months before the selection...
hmmm....i dunno wad to say...

that stupid sprained thumb has yet to recover over cny...
dunno how to train tml with the dumb thumb...
bleah...its still so painful...
bleah...

i guess alot of things happened over the week that i've failed to blog...
but somehow...i forgot them./..
hahax...so i'll leave it as that...
.....and you were more than just a pretty face
but how you fooled me
i'm still amazed baby
but i shld have known that i would be
another victim of your sexuality
but now we're done and over with
i don't want you back

don't want you back
'cos you're no good for me
i know
that's all i can say
don't want you back
forgive my honesty but you gotta go
i don't want you back

u started going out with so-called friends
but i was blind and so i lost all common sense
but there were things that made me realize
like all the hundred no, thousand lies

baby,
don't bother telling me your reasons why

just let us sing this story 'bout you and i
dont want you back
tats all i know
dont want you back
all i can say
dont want you back
u know you gotta go

--bsb dont want you back

---------------------------

is that true?
then how come my heart tell me otherwise??
hmmm...had pe and training yesterday...
did like a total of 6 to 7 km run...
havent attempted sth like that in my entire life before...
so i was pretty amused by myself...hahax...
geok also had the same fate...
but she's worse off la...she got pe today too...
hahax...opps...i shouldnt be laughing...
think i'm closer to her now...
like doing stuff together and generally...
i hope that somehow this friendship with her and the rest of the teammates
will work out well man...
i dunno la...
somehow the people ard that i treasure will leave somehow...
and i think i'm the sort that need people to be ard...
they are really nice...
and we're in this training together...
i hope that none of us fall behind...
sigh...anyway...
i'm always having doubts about friendships...
not very good...shouldnt need all the reassurence all the time...
it takes trust...
but she reminds me of someone...sigh...nvm...

hmmm...personal target for 2.4k that i wanna achieve under 12 mins...
a long way to go though...

where are you when i needed you?
there will not be someone to fill your place...
i hope i dont take her as a replacement...
it's not fair...


sunday morning time to say goodbye
but I'll be holding you soon
though i'm leavin'
girl don't start to cry
i'll be thinkin' of you
yeah

it's a lonely ride on the midnight train
i'm countin' down the days 'til i'm home again

how can i say when my words ever dry
how can i smile with the tear in my eye
summer's so lost with rainin' in June
that's how it feels when i'm missin' you

now time and healin'
another week come by
girl it feels like years, hmmm...
i've been callin' every day and night
how i wish you were here, ooh yeah..

i never met a girl who is so this sweet
can't wait to see you again, oohh
i never had a love that was so complete
and you know that i'll be dreamin' 'til then

a1 when i'm missin' you
----------------------------------------------------------------

shucks...
have like chinese dictation in like 10 mins...
obviously havent study...
dunno why i've been so dead tired for the past few weeks...
wanqing just passed me her human geog notes and they weigh a ton...
i wonder how am i supposed to carry them all home man...
then there's still phy geog...
somehow dont seemed like she has given me SA notes at all...
shall go home and explore...

havent been trying to work out my new year resolution...
after all...
the simplest one i havnet been doing...
like studying...bad...think meed to be a mugger from the beginning of the year...
i'm like super lagging in econs...
then still got all the new stuff and all the J1 work to catch up on...
sigh...

the trials on tues was pathetic la...
bad not that i dont silently rejoice...
but that's bad of me...
hopefully the training today will be better with some of the better J1s coming in...
its really a time of uncertainty...
sigh...dunno how to try to encourage people when i'm like not that encouraged byu the situation either...
hmmm...at least it wld be easier if you know who are the J1s who will stay...
now you look at them...
you dunno wad will happened tml...
bleah...

cny coming soon man...
it's been a year...
so fast...

was on the bus this morning...
to all the people out there...
like my beloved cell members...
esp jin and yun...
thanks for being there for me...
sorry that i was not able to spend more time with you guys...
siang and ping...
thabks for always being there...
my teammates...
thanks for making my stay here all worthwhile
and that we're in this together...
let's hold on together yah??
love you guys...
and definitely God...
which i'm most apologetic...
i'll spend more time with you...

with love,
me a hundred days had made me older since the last time
that I saw your pretty face
a thousand lights had made me colder and
i don’t think i can look at this the same
but all the miles had separate
they disappeared now when i’m dreaming of your face

i’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby and i dream about you all the time
i’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
and tonight it’s only you and me

the miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
i hear this life is overrated but i hope it gets better as we go

everything i know, and anywhere i go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
and when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

three doors down here without you

--------------------------------------------------------------------

hmmm...havent blog for very long...
suddenly dunno wad to say anymore...
seem like everythin else doesnt matter after a while...

a new year...its supposed to be good right??
how come it doesnt appear to be YET??
i hope that it'll be...
for me and those around me...

i've come to know...
that mayb i was the one who has let go...
not knowing that it was me...
i put the blame unto you...

perhaps sometimes its better to let the person go...
coz you give the person the faith to go and soar...
but at the end...
they can and they'll know that you're the strength
that allow them to fly...
to greater heights they never knew they cld fly...
but your faith in them give them wings...
and guide them to be...
jus being there...
they know that you'll always be right there waiting...
but why is the wait a pain??



haha...now in sch...havin chinese class...well supposedly...
she jus dump us like 20 lian xi to doden went off...
sian man...later in the day still have training...
yest slept at like 2 am cos i was trying to fininsh the hols assignments..
but well...slack too much cant do it all in a day...
den was too tired after work to do much...
thank God there was not much people yest...

was supposed to go to the ceremony for that edusave thingy...
but didnt wanna wake up...haha...
so i didnt go...
den in the end i have to rush to get the cheque and rush back for lesson
if i wan the cash by this week...
am super broke...
how come everyone's birthday is in jan???
arrgh~!!!!

err...somehow during the worship during the svc on sat...
i felt that sth hit me...
something that pastor said...
about forgetting about last year cos its already over...
perhaps its true...
i shouldnt keep holding on to the past...
holding on to some stuff that other people had already given up long ago...

the past is merely a dusty artifact of the good OLD days...

i've been thinking alot these few days...
sth that hit me during svc (again! it's a good one!)...
like i was thinking too much and tried to reason with God...
perhaps somethings there are no reason...
after all God's ways are higher than our ways
and God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts...
i'm thinking if i really wanna be a leader for God...
i think that i'm trying to run away from it...
and i dun like the stress that comes with it...
but is it something that God wants me to become??
sigh...i should go and pray about it...

err...resolutions like the rest of the people??
let me think about it again...
didnt wanna make any in the 1st place...
but after the sermon on planning for the year...
i think i better write it down soon...
arrgh...probably about school...the As and stuff...
after all thats wad JC is all about right??
sianz...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i thot i saw a man brought to life
he was warm he came around and he was dignified
he showed me what it was to cry

well u cldnt be that man i adored
you don’t seem to know
seem to care what your heart is for
well i don’t know him anymore

theres nothing where he used to lie
the conversation has run dry
thats wats goin’ on

nothing’s fine i’m torn
i’m all out of faith
this is how i feel
i’m cold and i am shamed
lying naked on the floor
illusion never changed
into something real
i’m wide awake and i can see
the perfect sky is torn
you’re a little late
i’m already torn

so i guess the fortune teller’s right
i shld have seen just what was there
and not some holy light
but you crawled beneath my veins and now
i don’t care—
i have no luck—
i don’t miss it all that much
there’s just so many things

that i can’t touch i’m torn
i’m all out of faith
this is how i feel
i’m cold and i am shamed
lying naked on the floor
illusion never changed
into something real
i’m wide awake and i can see
the perfect sky is torn
you’re a little late
i’m already torn

torn

i’m all out of faith
this is how i feel
i’m cold and i’m ashamed
bound and broken on the floor
you’re a little late i’m already torn

natalie imbruglia torn happy nEw yeaR 2004...

was at the esplanade for the countdown...
on the way back..i think i saw hsiang yang...
but didnt wanna like call him...
cos later he dont remember me den its super embarassing...haha
the firewoRks was sUpeR nice la...
not like the countdown for 2003...haha...
den we somehow managed to come to this strategic location jus directly opposite the firing of the firewoRks...it's super long and super nice...haha...
mayb they have decided to do sth about the cmi fireworks...haha...

a few of us went out to eat before going for the countdown...
went to my workplace..haha...super full...
oh yah...got this super funny incident that happened...
went to this shop called 'surf n rider' i think..
then yun was like trying on this bikini...
then the sales person thought i was her #ahem# stead...
funny la some people...oh well...i guess the hair's really short...
tml go school sure kana catch by kang kang...bleah...

school starting tml...
havent finish my homework at all la...
die...esp for chinese...havent really touch it..
sigh...
hmmm...but school re-opens also have some positive impact...
like the people are finally back from all the holidays already...
arrgh...i miss some people...

dang ni just played on the radio...
this song will always remind me of certain people during that certain period of time...
how is it that people can all suddenly be so cold...
the song is pretty sad i think...
i remember writting it down that time cos i was really sad...
then jus listening to it over and over again...
then jus thinking and remembering and crying...
sigh...cant believe i did that...

anyway...was watching westside story at jin's house...
all the way till 0630 this morning...
so heard that song quite alot throughout the show...
some songs loses its effect if you listen to it TOO much...
but when you lissten to it again after a while...
all the memories will come flooding back again...
oh well...

shuldnt say such saddening stuff on the blog entry of the first day..
haha...
oh well...gotta leave and go woRk soon....
year 2004 here i come...
hopefully it wld be a better one than 2003...
but i'll never regret living 2003...
cos that's wheni met you...
love ya..


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