tis is quite true..hahax...
oh well...


You have a water personality. You are moody and
often depressed, caught up in the 'why me?'s of
life. You have been hurt and as a consequence,
question everybody's motives behind their
relationship with you. Relationships don't come
easy to you and when you are in one, you can
become too caught up in what you're doing wrong
and disregard the other person almost entirely.
Despite the downsides, you have a lot of
friends (even if you can only trust one or two
of them). Cheer up, Emo kid, and enjoy life for
what it is.


Elemental Personalities: Which is Yours?
brought to you by Quizilla

here's another one...heheh...
am i really like that??
not exactly friendly...
i think many people think so...
sigh


Your a Guradien Angel! Guardien Angels are also
knows as Warrior Angels, because they are the
army of God. Not always meaning that they are
in war, simply that their job is to protect
unwary humans from dark dragons, or other evil
demons. Warrior Angels are not always friendly
with humans, but they will watch over them all
the time. Humans say that when a miracle
happens, thank your guradien angel.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla

gosh...i think i'm addicted to the quizzes...haha...
but they seemed to say the same sort of character...
this shall be the last (for now) hahax


You are the Figher Femme


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
hmmm...just baked cookies for geok's birthday...
dunno wad to make and stuff...
so i'm reduced to that...
hope that she like it...

'o' level results was released on fri...
thank God that the j1 girls made it below 20...
so they'll all be able to get in...
but not so lucky for the guys...sigh...
some people i know are so sad...
at a lost for wad to do...
even though i was really disappointed last year...
think they have to find out for themselves that 'o' doesnt really matter...
and all things are in God's plan...
nothing happens by chance...

went to the adidas warehouse sales yest...
it was rather crowded but didnt really buy much...
just a pair of pants at 20 bucks...
think that's cheap...
but i shouldnt have splurged on it...damn...
to think we went for a meal at country manna aft that...
am even more broke now...
then still gotta pay for geok and zi's present...
sigh...

===

we stumble in a tangled web
decaying frienships almost dead
and hide behind a mask of lies

we twist and turn and we avoid
all the hope of salvage now devoid
i see the truth inside your eyes

so take all this noise into your brain
send it back again
i'll bear the cross
shed my skin, call you up and then
i'll say the words out loud

you could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more
a thousand words will give the reasons why i don't need you anymore

time manipulates your heart
preconceptions torn apart
begin to doubt my state of mind

but i wont go down on what i said
i wont retract
convictions read
i may perplex but i'm not blind

so take all this noise into your brain
send it back again
i'll bear the cross
shed my skin
call you up and then...
i'll say the words out loud

you could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more
a thousand words will give the reasons why i don't need you anymore

i'll say e words out loud
i'll say a thousand words or more

manipulation.
fabrication.
conversation.
annihilation.
i'll say a thousand words or more
damnation.
frustration.
elevation.
procreation.
i'll say a thousand words or more

you could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more
a thousand words will give the reasons why I don't need you anymore

savage garden a thousand words

===

i'm scared that i'll fall into the same trap again
mistake wad we have for sth more
play it safe and remain the same
at least i have you by my side
to enjoy the presence and wad we share
the joy and the stress
you know wad i'm going thru
but jus sometimes i feel that
i dont really know you at all

===

i lived each day
remembering you are ard
i hope that it will never end
though there is someone else taking ur place
by my side
but your place will never be replace
coz it has already reserved a place in my heart

=== sianz...
having break now...
which i should really be studying for my econs test tml...
but i real proud of myself...
cos i sorta already read thru it yest when i for once went home early...
dont think i'll get to study today after the friendly with scgs...
hahaz...hope that the essay test is not gong to be too difficult...

had pe just now...
for once he didnt really torture us...
but he made us do the 2 items i hated amonagst all the 6 items...
inclined pull-ups and standing board jump...
amanda volunteered to do the 2 for me and i can do the sit-and-reach
in return for her..hahax...and so did winnie...
den we played floorball...
it was rather fun...
at first it was so didfficult to comtrol that freaking stick...
but i got better...
it rather fun...
wonder how the hockey pple do the sports...
so much running...i almost died...
salute the hockey players...
anyway...then we played a sorta friendly with a31...
and a21 had a 4-0 smashing win...
hahax...not that we really play very well...
but lady luck seemed to be on our side...heheh...
but i think that game reminded me the joy that comes with competitve sports...
and reminded me of the thrill of the game...
sorta light up my mood a little...
and remind me once again and pull me out of the pit...
hopefully i can apply the energy and everything into training as well...
bleah...

===

down down down...
i've fallen deep...
into the bottomless hole...
lift me up...
pull me out...
get me out of this...

===

havent blogged since tues...
there was x-cty on wed...
which i am really proud of the bballers...
all the girls who ran came in top 50...
with yali, xj geok in top 20...
so proud of you guys man...
i only managed a 24th...
but that's good enough...
didnt expect to be so front in the first place...
but i still got the medal for the top 10 in romanis...
ahh...shall be contented...

seemed like alot is happening...
dunno why i feeling so down also...
alot of things that are on my mind but just cldnt firue that out...
dunno who to talk to either...
you know when you're not doing so good...
but sigh...
just dunno who to confide in...
i think i need another dose of reassurance from certain people...
but wad the heck...

===

feeling all alone
under the open sky

===
skies are dark its time for rain
final call you board the train
heading for tomorrow

i wave goodbye to yesterday
wipe the tears that hide your face
blinded by the sorrow

how can i be smiling like before?
when baby you dont love me anymore

say it isn't so
tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
that i am only dreaming
but this is not goodbye
this is starting over
if you wanna know
o dont wanna let go
so say it isnt so

ten to five at least we tried
we're still alive but hope has died
as they closed the door behind you
whistle blows the turns of steel
shake the ground beneth the wheels
as i wish i never found you

how can i be smiling when your gone?
will i be strong enough to carry on?

miles and miles to go
before i can sing
before i can lay my love for you to sleep

Oh darling, no

i got miles and miles to go
before anyone will hear me laugh again

gareth gates say it isnt so

===

so super tired...
didmt do m uch yesterday also anyway...
dumb man...
its cross country tml...
let's see how it'll turn out to be...

===

why is it that everytime as i was about to let go...
you managed to instill hope again...
the tears that were hidden but the smile...
is it something that you never see...

dont do this to me once and again...
i dunno how much i can take...

===
You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

sugerbabes too lost in you

===

to all those people who gave me v day gifts...
i love you guys...
and those who didnt as well la...
anyway specially to geok, monaqx, yun and siang...
love you guys lots...

===

you make me worry..
but you seemed fine...
i hope that everything's alright...
or am i just worrying for nothing??

===

am i just too lost in you??

=== great...
i'm broke...
bought the exchange gift for the v-day...
then i got xiao geok sth...
den like cannot dont give geok...
so i got her sth as well...
then i like spent like 60 bucks...
and i have a fone bill of like 300 to pay...
i'm dead..

still yet to recover from the tuesday pe-match-trg...
did like 3.2k in preparations for the x-cty...
then after that got match with ACJC...
which i think we played really bad...
the no of under baskets that we didnt get in is like...
dont wanna be reminded about it...
but we still won...
a smashing 59 to 5...
and managed to keep ac with 1 pt till the fourth quarter...
no offense ppl...i think you guys played pretty ok..
jiayou!!!
then there was a 1.2k run after the match...
i'm already like super tired...
then hafta do it under 7 min...
which we managed a 6m 37s...
which is not that bad with over-lap run la...

got back the first econs case study (test somemore)...
and i managed to pass...
cant really believe it esp since i didnt study for it...
God's grace...
but there's definitely room for improvement man...
with this kind of grades...
you wldnt go anywhere..

think gotta run like 2.4k later for pe...
and who knows what coach has in stall for us for trg...
feeling super sleepy man...
bleah...


Reds are physical and sexual. They love expressing
themselves through their sensuality and their
physical bodies. They live their lives in the
here-and-now with zest, strength, courage and
self-confidence.


What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla
everybody's looking for that something
one thing that makes it all complete
u'll find it in the strangest places
places u never knew it could be

some find it in the face of their children
some find it in their lover's eyes
who can deny the joy it brings
when you've found that special thing
u're flying without wings

some find it sharing every morning
some in their solitary lives
u'll find it in the words of others
a simple line can make you laugh or cry

u'll find it in the deepest friendship
e kind u cherish all your life
and when you know how much that means
u've found that special thing
u're flying without wings

so, impossible as they may seem
u've got to fight for every dream
cos who's to know which one you let go
wld have made u complete

well, for me it's waking up beside you
to watch the sunrise on your face
to know that i can say i love u
in any given time or place

its little things that only i know
those are the things that make u mine
and it's like flying without wings
cos u're my special thing
i'm flying without wings

and u're the place my life begins
and u'll be where it ends

westlife flying without wings

===

hey ppl...
thanks for being there...
some ppl that i never expect...
take note of those lyrics in bold and italics...
thanks...
here goes:-

fely...
hey...thanks for being there...
it makes me feel so much better...
thank you dearie...

jiawen...
i was surprised...but thanks...
it helps...love you...

michelle...
thanks babe...
you are the best...

kaiqi...
i love you darling...
i'm ok...

weiwei...
thanks for always being ard...
and for so many other things as well...

siang...
for lending me a listening ear and the shoulder to cry on...
and always there no matter wad...

bballers...
thanks you guys for just being there...
you guys might not know but somehow...
just being with you guys lights up my day...
thanks for loving me the way i am...
i love you guys lots and dunno wad i'll do without you guys...
esp xiaojie...i cant help but keep laughing in ur presence...
geoks...for just being ard...both of you...

you...
in your own way
make this world a better place...

God...
someone who never forsake me even when i'm faithless...
and felt like letting go...
you hold on to me and console me...
kept me under Your wings and let me cry...
Your love that allow me to overcome...

the rest...
who was there at one point of time or another...

i've grown...
i've changed...
thanks to the jerks who made me realised
that there are precious things and ppl ard...
and allow me to treasure them more...
arrgh...
dont think i've been so bloody damn hurt so much till i came to SA
dont understand why guys can be so insensitive and hurting
non-sensical and all the other crap...
i wanna cry but cant cry it out...
i think i should be pissed off but somehow i'm more hurt...
i think i've already lost the capacity to get pissed at people...
it has been the worse two years of my life that i cldnt wait for it to end...

the things that they say really hurts...
have they even consider that it will hurt people??
do i have to bear with all these??
damnation...
they think people dont know...
i dunno how to react when i hear my classmate tell me...
i know that he jus feel that i need to know...
what have i got to do with the disapperance of the birds in sch??
i dont even think that i've offended them in any way...
i mind my own business and only hang out mainly with the bballers...
wad's wrong with being bigger size and more built...
do i deserved to be called all the names that they call me??
who and wad gave them the right??
cant a girl have short hair??
is that my fault that i'm better than some of them physically??
do they ever consider that i'll be hurt??
to think that i tried being nice while doing the moral ed thing...
sucks la...
i've lost faith in this group of creation supposedly known as guys...
they sucks...at this very moment in time...
i dont think that i need them cos the things they do i think i can accomplish...
things they cant do (like 2.4k) i can do too...
i dont think that they are a necessary part of my life..............
not that all guys are like that but its jus that i dont understand
some of them at all...
am bloody damn hurt...
bleah...........................................................................................


sigh...
cried my heart out yesterday...
no one to talk to...
feel so damn shit...
no one cares...
arrgh...
i know that people will say that just dont be bothered with wad they say...
but if that happen to them wld they say the same??
i wld usually dont care...
but this time it really get to me...
reached home and my dad was already aslp...
had the urge to wake him up to tell him everything...
but i didnt...
sigh.........................................................................

how do you trust and believe in pple
when the world is such a horrible place??
why is it that all the horrible things happen all at the same time??
where is a someone whom i can lean on
when i need someone to be there??
why does the rain keep falling
when i only want it to snow??
why is it that i'm stuck here
with no where else to go??

===

i'm a big big girl
in a big big world
it's not a big big thing if you leave me
but i do do feel that
i do do will miss you much
miss you much...

i can see the first leaf falling
it's all yellow and nice
it's so very cold outside
like the way i'm feeling inside

i'm a big big girl
in a big big world
it's not a big big thing if you leave me
but i do do feel that
i do do will miss you much
miss you much...

outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
why did it have to happen
why did it all have to end

i have your arms around me
ooooh like fire
but when i open my eyes
u're gone...

emilia big big girl

===

how do i be strong??
seemed like i'm all alone?
have you chose to leave me?
to brace the storms alone?

dont ever let me go...
i am feeling super tired and will be dead later...
didnt managed to study for my geog test yest...
cos we had training and it ended at like 8.30pm...
and by the time we celebrated janet's bdae...
it's already almost 9pm...
by the time we reach av...
there's nothing much to eat...
then geok and i waited super long for the bus...
say like 30 mins...
which explains why i reach home so late...
anyway...was rather thankful that we didnt have to
run to lab park both on tues and yest...
cos it somehow miraculously started to rain just before trg...
hahax...when God is with us who can be against us...
hahax...but still did 2.4 yest...
the timing sucks though...
need to cut like 1 min plus to reach my target...
bleah...

was telling geok yest...
somehow it feels rather sad that now that the J1s are here
then we get replaced by them...
like you trained so hard but just becos they are better naturally...
then you place is taken up...
i was thinking is there anyway to improved more and fast...
who doesnt want to be in the team...
and i do wanna be in the first team and not some reserve...
but there's alot to be done...
so so tired and dead...

must be the long wait..
dunno why i told that to her...
like only 3 person know...
so that makes her the fourth...
hahax...jus feels comfortable and right...
somehow la...
but i'm always rether insecure about friendships...
bleah...wadever...

so tired...was thinking yest...
didnt have dis kind of thoughts before that...
i'm so sick and tired of school...
just wanna take time off...
go to some deserted island and be alone...
have some peace...
that you cant get in this hectic world...
where everyone is moving on so fast...
and i cant catch up...
where your friends wldnt even call to ask or say hello...
where friendship eventually die off and drift apart...
actually it dont take much...
just a little hello and a smile...
but who am i to say...
when i'm just like one of the people anyway??
too busy with life...
too caught up in work...
all i want i a little time off...
a little hello...

===

heard this song when someone played it yest in the hall...
suddenly reminded of it and of ceratin people...
and that it was one of the orientation songs now this time last year...

***

we were strangers
starting out on a journey
never dreaming
what we'd have to go through
now here we are and i'm suddenly standing
at the beginning with u

no one told me
i was going to find you
unexpected what you did to my heart
when I lost hope
u were there to remind me
this e start

life is a road and i wanna keep going
love is a river
i wanna keep going
life is the road now and forever
wonderful journey

i'll be there when the world stops turning
i'll be there when the storm is through
in the end i wanna be standing
at the beginning with you

we were strangers on the crazy adventure
never dreaming out dreaming come true
now here we stand
unafraid of the future
at the beginning with you

i knew there was somebody somewhere
like me alone in the dark
now i know my dream will live on
i've been waiting so long
nothing's gonna tears us apart

richard marx and donna lewis at the beginning
=== ran 11 rounds during pe just now...
think chey is really visualising us as the x-country champs...
madness..that's 4.4k just during pe..
so wad will happen to me during training??
which we were supposed to do a run to lab. park...
with all the slope training...i'll be dead by then...
but i was rather impressed by myself...
all that running...

weiwei was showing us some printed out stuff...
was just wondering why some people...
they wanna say things about others but dont do it directly??
lack of guts??
do they even have in the first place??
i cant stand it if they were refering to some girl...
come and talk it out la...
just when i'm trying to be nice...
there'll be some stuff of this sort popping out...

cant say that today is not a good day...
chinese t'cher not free...
so dont have her lessons...
think most people wld think her lessons quite pointless...
hahax...oh well...but i did her work...

geok cut her hair and its short...
(and reminds me of someone...)
so i'm no longer the one with the shorest hair...
anyway its beginning to grow...
esp the back...
so i'm thinkin of a trim at the back...
but it has to be that jo wldnt notice...
and loads of other people who wants me to grow my hair long as well...
some stupid shop owner called me "xiao di" that day while i was trying
to buy kaiqi's present...do you think a GUY wld walk into a ladies wear shop alone??
oh please...i thought it was jus the back view but when i turn to face her...
she went "xiao di man man kan"...
i gave her a LOOK and left that shop...
but thank God for that coz i saw a nicer dress elsewhere...
hahax...
anyway...sometimes you wonder wad's with these pple...
its not that difficult to tell between a girl and a guy wad...
anyway...its quite funny to think that you can look like a girl and guy at the same time...
hahax...

friday's match against dunearn...
which we won...
but it really got me thinking...
i really dont wanna be someone where i can only play one position...
i want to be a more flexible player...
with more use of coz...
hopefully there's still time...
they keep telling me that i'll make it in...
but it's difficult to say...
anything can happen..................Right??

seemed like i'm jobless...
the manager didnt plan me to work...
so i think i better leave that place before things turn sour...
shall leave it to God to provide...
really bad...
anyway...moving house...not not to a bigger one...
so those people who post me stuff...
get the new address from me...

===

look into my eyes
you will see
what you mean to me
search your heart
search your soul
and when you find me there you'll search no more
dont tell me its not worth tryin for
u cant tell me its not worth dyin for
u know its true
everything i do - I do it for you

look into my heart
u will find
theres nothin there to hide
take me as i am
take my life
i wld give it all i wld sacrifice
dont tell me its not worth fightin for
i cant help it theres nothin i want more
you know its true
everything i do - i do it for you

theres no love - like your love
and no other - could give more love
theres nowhere - unless you're there
all the time - all the way

dont tell me its not worth tryin for
i cant help it theres nothin i want more
i wld fight for you - i'd lie for you
walk e wire for you - ya i'd die for you

you know its true
everything i do - i do it for you

bryan adams (everything i do) i do it for you

===

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