nationals school bball comp
1st round
sajc vs mi -- 10 apr sat
sajc vs acjc -- 14 apr wed
sajc vs mjc -- 17 apr sat
sajc vs hcjc -- ____ wed

somehow my memory failed me about the hc match...
and i'm not sure if the mjc one is correct...
haha...but yapz...comp starting soon...
ahh...oh well...

===

i damn screwed up...
like flunked both ao maths (ya!! can you believe it??)
and cla...damn screwed...
i'm soooooooooooo screwed...
i hope that the othe two papers and gp are better...
dont wanna see principal man...
arrrgh...i'm screwed...

===

hmmm...there's a sudden void in my heart...
cant explain it somehow...
like when i'm supposed to be happy...i am...
when i supposed to be sad...i am...
but it seem like everything is dont more of as a routine...
wad's happening??
feel like i lost sth...
it is really so???
or is that a premonition of sth that's going to happen??
had a nightmare on tues...
like woke up feeling real scared...
but there isnt a cause...
wad's happening??
oh Lord..
..............
am i going to lose someone or sth???
or have i already lost it without me knowing??

===

convinced of my deception
i've always been a fool
i fear this love reaction
just like you said i wld

a rose could never lie
about the love it brings
and i cld never promise
to be any of those things

if i was not so weak
if i was not so cold
if i was not so scared of being broken
growing old
i would be...
i would be...
i would be...

blessed are the shallow
depth they'll never find
seemed to be some comfort
in rooms i try to hide

exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

...frail

jars of clay frail

===

took some time to realise that i've fallen

hey best friend...

i shall not tag and take up space on ur tag board...
but i read ur entry and i was like...
"wow!!" how appro.
how did you know wad to say at the right time even...
i think it goes both ways...
thanks for everything...
i think that i havent been the most prefect person...
and i think that you've always been there to encourage me
and everything as well...esp recently about the team...
i think you have more confident in me den myself...
i guess that helps..that people are confident of you...
it sort of reassures you...thanks....
JC life have not been the most smooth-sailing...
but i thank God that you are part of it...
love you!

===

ok....here goes...
i made it!!!!
yay!! like all the anxiety drained from my heart...
been waiting for the news for the past 3 days...
sleepless nights for the past two nights
accompanied with nightmare that i didnt make it...
pure pain and horror that i didnt wanna go thru again...
but i think its quite a horrible experience for the j2s...
and only half of us made it...
6 j1s and 6 j2s...with the 13th player being j1...
only the best 12 got in...i thank God for that...
but how accurate is that??
i feel really bad for some of them...
and i dunno how to face them when i see them in sch...
we went thru so much together...
all the toils sweat tears and pain...
these are the people whom i share my life with...
and i certainly wldnt want my efforts to go to waste...
sigh...

hmmm...
i think i need to thank some other ppl as well...
i read a book in the morning

people in the ghettos are living in such poverty and negativity
and yet we're so unappreciative of the things and people ard us...
i think people ard have been great people...
makes my life so much better...
my teammates...
people like yingzi, janet, peiyun, san, xiaojie, ah mah, eunice, huiqing, stacy...
thanks for being part of my life in SA...
makes all that untolerable better...lights up my life and makes me laugh...
of cos...not to forget my roommate...monaqx...
you're the best la...yay!!
geok...for just being there and everything...
play ball together during the breaks...
xiao geok...
for encouraging me when i was really down...
accompany to see the sensei...
and also to watch canoeing comp...thanks man...
the rest of the j1s...for bringing so much fun in SA...

my class people...
winnie...thanks babe for everything...
getting high together in class (on fruit tella--of all things!! haha!!)
and just stuff...dunno how to say...
weiwei!!! i'll never forget you...
thanks for everything...you're the best!!
fely dear...thanks...
people like dianne, manges, melanie, van, amanda, lydia, vonne...
thankd for everything...
and of cos melvin...
i'll never leave you out man...
you're impressionable in your own way...
dont look down on urself...
thanks loads guys...a21...
oh...not to forget mrs tan!!! :)

the SA chc people...
thanks lots...

and of cos the people ard in my life...
thank God for you guys... ;)

===

yay!! i FINALLY managed to get my tan...
i hope tat it wld fade off too fast...
haha...it was a rather fun time at sentosa on fri...
after all i got my tan!! yeah!! haha...

===

winter snow is falling down
children laughing all around
lights are turning on
like a fairy tale come true
sitting by the fire we made
you're the answer when i prayed
i wld find someone
n baby i found you

all i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more every day
you saved my heart
from being broken apart
you gave your love away
and i'm thankful every day
for the gift

watching as you softly sleep
what i'd give if i cld keep
jus dis moment
if only time stood still
but e colours fade away
and e yrs will make us grey
but baby in my eyes
you'll still be beautiful

jim brickman the gift

===

hey tis is for the special ppl in my life...

esp for you best friend...
thanks for everything yah?? :)

===

♣

Thursday, March 25, 2004 // 0 comments

yeah!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
block tests are OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like finally...
actually i already regarded it as over aft econs...
which i sorta regret...
i think my geog and CLA is gonna suck BIG time...
didnt really study for them...
and the only more confident econs had to be screwed...
hopefully dont have to drop by the principal's office...
for a not so nice cup of tea...
though i think DP id quite nice...
hahax...

which reminds me...
we got our new and supposedly to be shorter timetable...
but guess wad...
we have the priviledge to end at the earliest 4.10pm...
that excluding wed of coz,...
must i remind the admin that we're a THREE sub ARTS class??
it's so ridiculous...
its supposed to make life better not worse...
anyway...then as mdm hab suggested...
we went to talk to DP...me winnie and weiwei...
hope that mr (whatever his name is) will improve on it...
dont understand why its at our expense
that the rest get better timetable...

anyway...gonna have J1s trials later...
and if i'm not wrong the selection too...
not that prepared if you ask me...
well...let's see how it goes...

shit...my throat still hurts...
but at least its better than yest...
i think its those mudpies at nydc...
arrgh...i thot i wld rather die yest night...
am damn broke now and feel sick...
bleah...
at least exams are over...
hahahx...

===

if you see me walking the road with someone else
its not becos i like his company
its becos you're not brave enough to walk beside me

if you hear me talking about him all the time
its not becos he pleases me
its becos you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat

if you feel me falling with someone new
its not because i love him
becos you're not there to catch me fall

if you feel lost..i too am nowhere
i too dont know where the road is going
are we gonna cross each other's path
or just completely turn around?
will we just let go of what we had
or go to the place where love is bound

dont let me walk with him
its you i want to walk with
dont let me talk of him
its you i want to talk with
dont let me fall for him
its you i want to fall in love with

"the answer" (hopefully!)

when you thought i wasnt brave enough to walk beside you
i was behind you every step of the way
still filled with awe because of the beauty
that stands before me

when you thought i was too deaf to hear your heartbeat
i didnt want to assume anything
and i was afraid to lose our friendship

when you thought i wasnt there to catch you
it was because you never gave me the chance
you never reached the bottom
you've already grabbed a branch

if you feel like you are nowhere
I too am lost
i too dont know where the road is going
are we just going to turn around
or are we gonna cross each other's path?
will we just let go of what we had
or go to the place where love is bound?

dont let me walk alone
i want to walk by your side
dont let me talk of something else
its you i want to talk with
dont let me fall for someone else
its you i want to fall in love with

===

that's sth that i've read just now...
isnt that uauslly true...
so many times we hide the feelings inside
scared that we'll lose what we have now...
but its when thongs are left unsaid and unspoken
that there are so many misunderstandings and guesses...
we are all timid people...
rather hold on to wad we have...
den to take risks and lose everything

===

me too...
i'm scared to lose...

===

♣

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 // 0 comments

hmmm....kinda screwed up maths...
which is kinda expected coz i didnt study for it...
my conclusion...
if i fail i'll just drop it...
makes my decision making easier..
two more papers to go...sucks eh...
the rest ends on wed i think...
anyway...i hope that fri will be sunny...
cos it's time for us to hit the beach...
yeah!!!

===

summer lovin had me a blast
- summer lovin
happened so fast
i met a girl crazy for me
- i met a boy
cute as can be
summer days driftin away
to uh-oh those summer nights

tell me more
tell me more
did you get very far?
tell me more
tell me more
like, does he have a car?

she swam by me
she got a cramp
- he went by me
got my suit damp
i saved her life
she nearly drowned
- he showed off
splashing around
summer sun
something's begun
but uh-oh those summer nights

tell me more
tell me more
was it love at first sight?
tell me more
tell me more
did she put up a fight?

took her bowlin in the arcade
- we went strollin
drank lemonade
we made out under the dock
- we stayed out until ten o'clock
summer fling dont mean a thing
but uh-oh those summer nights

tell me more
tell me more
that you dont got her preg
tell me more
tell me more
cause he sounds like a drag

he got friendly
holdin my hand
- well she got friendly
down in the sand
he was sweet
just turned eighteen
- well she was good
you know what I mean
summer heat
boy and girl meet
but uh-oh those summer nights

tell me more
tell me more
how much dough did he spend?
tell me more
tell me more
could she get me a friend?

it turned colder
tha's where it ends
- so I told her we'd still be friends
then we made our true love vow
- wonder what she's doin' now
summer dreams ripped at the seams
but oh those summer nights

olivia newton john summer nights

===

weiwei and yanqi was talking abt it last night...
those njcians prob remember it...
though i forgot most of the dance steps already...
its a nice song in a old way...oh well...
and that's also the song played in the xmas play in church
when joseph and mary met -funny-
oh well...
seemed like tis song suddenly used alot...
oh well...bring back memories...heheh...

===

oh those summer nights!!

===

♣

Monday, March 22, 2004 // 0 comments

will i always be there for you?
when you need someone
will i be that one you need?
will i do all my best to
to protect you?
when the tears get near your eyes
will i be the one thats by your side?
will i be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
will i keep the rain from falling down into your light?
i promise
i promise
i promise i will

will i take tender tender care of you?
take your darkest night and make it bright for you
will i be there to make you strong and to lean on?
when this world has turned so cold
will i be the one that's there to hold?

will i be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
will i keep the rain from falling down into your light?
i promise
i promise
i promise i will

and i love you more every day
and nothing will take that love away
when you need someone
i promise
i'll be there for you (there for you)
i promise

stacy orrico i promise

===

yapz...i promise...
you?

===

arrgh...econs damn screwed...
i hope the rest are better...
dumb t'cher didnt set on wage...
cant believe it can??
toodle toots...
anyway...the new j1s...
i think cos of the bt...
i think they are rather noisy...
haha...oh well...
went to watch 20 30 40...
the chinese movie...
haha...i know its bt but welll...
i think sld relax after the dumb econs paper...
haha...
oh welll...
still thinking if i sld go for maths bt tml...
hahah...

===

♣

Sunday, March 21, 2004 // 0 comments

hmmm...
i think somehow i have managed to waste the week away...
it was so packed man...
but if i were to say that i havent started studying...
no one wld believe me...
but that's the truth...
i hope that i dont screw the bt up...
sigh...
mon tues and thurs had trg...
then wed fri and sat had church stuff going on...
which is left with today to start and finish everything...
arrrgh...

friendly matches................
i wldnt say that they have went that well...
not the results but rather the players...
cpoach announced that the final team will be out after this coming thurs trg...
so that's the final draw...
and determine who's in and who's not...
there's alot of speculations...alot of worries...
i mean one year of trg for the year 2s...
and its obvious that some of us wldnt get in...
sigh...i dunno wad to say...
torn into two...
feel so discouraged that i dont mind ot getting in...
but then...all the efforts...sigh...
dunno how to encourage the rest also...
sigh...
i guess...the thing to focus on now is the bt...

===

my friends say you're so into me
and that you need me desperately
they say you say we're so complete

but i need to hear it straight from you
if you want me to believe it's true
i've been waiting for so long it hurts
i wanna hear you say the words
please

dont, dont let me be the last to know
dont hold back
just let it go
i need to hear you say
you need me all the way
oh, if you love me so
dont let me be the last to know

Ooh

your body language says so much
yeah
i feel it in the way you touch
but til' you say the words its not enough
c'mon and tell me you're in love
please

britney spears dont let me be the last to know

===

actually the bottomline is :-
dont ever let me be the last to know...
not about the song but that one thing that it says...
promise me...
dont ever let me be the last to know...
about anything and everything...

arrgh...
oh well...

===

♣

Monday, March 15, 2004 // 0 comments

Soccer Cleats- athletic, determined, and strong,
you are probably good at anything you try. you
can be serious but love having a good time
above all. you love sports and when you aren't
on the feild you love hanging out and having
fun with your team-mates.


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

♣

// 0 comments

hmmm...
like everyone thinks and feel that i'm down...
for once people notice huh??

actually i also dunno wad to say...
the stress from school...
the stress from bball...
then there's things to do in church...
then there are also other areas of things...
to make things worse there are immature and childish guys...
cant some people just grow up??
that's the little part of this 2 yrs i wish to omit...
makes you feel like just abandon everything
just be alone and shut urself from the rest of the world...
spend ur time alone..mayb with God...
and some music and think things thru...
but i do not have the luxury of time...
and for that matter...the space...
i think i had never been so down...
and i dont allow myself to...
cos people expect me to be well...
always up there and alright...
someone to encourage people and not the other way round...
i'm sorry if i had let anyone down....
i'm not perfect...

just damn pissed off with myself...
tis low morale...
tis feeling of not being in control sux...
arrgh...i dont like this feelin of being lost...
everythings going haywire...
i feel so overloaded....
sigh...

===

the rest of the world doesnt matter actually...
all i want is you to be there...
i tried to deceive myself but that doesnt work...
that question that was pointed out to me...
i think i chose to lie...
that was not the truth...
was that to protect myself??
or is it that i dont see much hope in you??
i dont wanna be disappointed again....
you should know how i feel...
the trust and everything...
that i dont see in you anymore...

===


and she takes another step
slowly she opens the door
check that he is sleeping
pick up all the broken glass
and furniture on the floor
been up half the night screaming
now it's time to get away
pack up the kids in the car

another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

and there are children to think of
baby's asleep in the back seat
wonder how they'll ever make it
through this living nightmare
but the mind is an amazing thing
full of candy dreams and new toys
and another cheap hotel
two beds and a coffee machine
but there are groceries to buy
and she knows she'll have to go home

another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

another ditch in the road
keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
silent fortress built to last
wonder how I ever made it

savage garden two beds and a coffee machine

===

wonder how i'll ever make it through

===

♣

Tuesday, March 09, 2004 // 0 comments

Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

♣

// 0 comments

What's love?
When you are together with that special someone,
you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around,
you might look around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back,
to let you know of their safe arrival,
your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from
that special someone than other many long e-mails,
you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the
messages in your answering machine because of one message
from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would
not hesitate to think of that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend",
but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction.
At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind,
then u are in love with that person.

===

so...
do i love you??

===

♣

// 0 comments

There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do

nsync gone

===

the song was playing when i was at harbourfront mac jus now...

its still raining...
i think that sorta suit my mood...

rain falls
it just keeps falling
as i falls on your skin
it feels good
like its washing away everything
all the emotions
all unwanted feelings
the world doesnt care about you
the lives of the people still goes on
the worls keep spinning

if i were to disappear
no one wld know
cos no one cares
you disappoint me once and again
but not you alone
i thought that i can learn to trust
but i guesss i was wrong
again
falling again and again into the same trap
cant get myself out of it
seems like the song
you're gone

it doesnt take much
i didnt need much
even someone who isnt as close
from the few words i spoke
he asked
why did i sound so down
but i thought you know me better
but i guess i was wrong to say

wad initially was on my mind
bothers me no more
but it was how you respond
mayb i am just being too sensitive
but i think i just want a little more care
that sure didnt come from you

thinking...
i need you tonight
i need you right now
...
but you were not there

the rain continue to fall
i'm standing all alone out there
to brave the rain myself
with occasional passers-by
to offer to share the shelter
but most of the time
i'm just there by myself braving the storm
like now...

===

♣

Monday, March 08, 2004 // 0 comments

hmmm...i came to the lib to send a mail...
gotta go back to the reading rm...
got a geog test outline to do...
and econs lect stuff...
which is like in 30 mins...
arrgh...

have yet to recover from the late nights fr fri...
reached home at 4 in the morning...
thank God my dad didnt wake...
if not...i wld not be here...
and fr sat and yest...
i need my slp...

release of the a lvl results...
it's still rather tormenting...
i'm still freaked out...
beyond words can describe...

---

just happened to look at the prev entry...
i passed that integration test...somehow...
and moraculously top the class...with lousy score...
arr...oh well...

---

everything i look at you...
i can help but ask myself...
what do i really want??

---

♣

Tuesday, March 02, 2004 // 0 comments

jus fininshed shooting some balls...
super tired...
screwed up a integration test this morning...
wondering if i sld drop...
aft all you only need 1 ao subject now...
think that they're jus down-grading their whole education system
by not counting chinese...
jus because pple cant do well in chinese
doesnt mean that they sld remove it...
it's so degrading...
but i cant drop yet...
gotta check out the facts first...

tml's the drawing lots of the schools that we'll be playing
the first round of the nationals schools...
it's rather nerve wrecking...
pray hard that we'll not get v difficult schools...
some of the j1s decided to leave for hc...
well...fly to greater heights i guess...
better studies and everythin...
den in the first place mayb they sldnt make the promise to stay??
sigh...anyway...it does make us a few players short...
but well...i guess leave it up to God...
after all...everything happens for a reason...
and nobody is here by chance yah??
oh well...

crached maths c lect yest...
it was rather enlightening...
and was actually enjoying myself copying notes for geok...
who was sleeping next to me...
but i guess i wldnt say the same if i'm taking maths...
hahax...the birthday girl mus be too tired yest that she didnt come today...

talked to like meow yest...
hahax...i guess everyone's really training hard now...
i mean 1 yr of all the things that you go thru
is jus for the moment of glory aft all..
seemed like there are quite a few potential teams that we have to win...
hope that qing's ankle get well soon...

sigh...i guess things are looking up and i'm feeling better...
yeah...
thanks peeps for being ard...

===

arrgh...
darn...
i miss you...

===

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