hey bestest friend...
happy 18th birthday...
its still the 27th june the other side of the globe...
anyway...its not 12.57pm yet...
so its till legally your birthday...
#grinne#
take care and i love you *hugs*
(God knows when you'll ever see this...) hiding from the rain and snow
trying to forget but i won't let go
looking at a crowded street
listening to my own heart beat

so many people all around the world
tell me where do i find someone like you girl

take me to your heart take me to your soul
give me your hand before i'm old
show me what love is - haven't got a clue
show me that wonders can be true

they say nothing lasts forever
we're only here today
love is now or never
bring me far away

take me to your heart take me to your soul
give me your hand and hold me
show me what love is - be my guiding star
it's easy take me to your heart

standing on a mountain high
looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
i sld go and see some friends
but they dont really comprehend

dont need too much talking without saying anything
all i need is someone who makes me wanna sing

take me to ur heart :: michael learns to rock

***

blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....
its freezing cold in the library...that's why i'll be leaving this place soon...as soon as the librarian comes back and i borrowed my book...my bottle of warm water became cold as ice water already la...

was just about to rejoice in jubliation that i finished my human lect notes that the fact that my readings on the industrial geog is twice the thickness of my notes...that means i wld need to spend even more time on it man...darn..oh well..i somehow thinnk that my chinese t'cher is not going to be very happy...havent touched chinese yet...sigh.

the sky outside is pretty overcast with rather thick smog..which is not that a common sign in spore..the cause is the forest fires in indonesia that has been blow over to the sunny island but not anymore...is this due to the weakening of the tradewinds that lead to a change in the direction of the flow of the ocean currents during an el nino event?? i doubt it...cos its not the time yet...it sld be the end of the year...its just the forest fires...too much studying lead to all these thoughts...studying econ geog makes you feel like you're studying econs twice...but then again...its not in details and i forgot most of the econs that i need to re-look at it again sometime soon...not much time left...sudden panic attack..which reminds me that i have yet to look at gp yet...oh man...ok like less than one week to the econs paper..i think i need serious help...but better study chinese first...dont really want a repeat of the bt1...i hope not...prays heard...

having stomach upset for the past two days...bad feeling...been in and out of the washroom...and all the cramps...i think its the stress...but i dont really feel the stress but i guess the body feels it more...alright...gtg already...

10.45am
arrgh...have been driven out the house by matchbox twenty...not that i have no intention of studying in school already but blasting the music at 8 am in the morning isnt exactly my idea of a good wake up call..but i had enough of it..my cousin gave me black face early in the morning...isnt moi fault if she break up with her boyfriend or sth...i dun even know wad's wrong...so gimme a break...like i owe her money lidat(alright i ate her kit kat white the other day...)...but then again...loud rock music isnt the kind of thing you listen to in the morning...mayb not me...but i got rather pissed...started off my day from the wrong side of my bed obviously...darn...

alright...shall revert back to studying soon...meeting hannee later...havent seen her for so long...we're supposed to go celebrate my birthday...but that's like two months plus late...hahah...its the thots that counts...

hmmm...the last week of the hols liao already...
means that the jc students are one week closer to our doom...
i dont deny that poeple are studying...
but i've long learnt that studying not equals to doing well..
*bleah*
but i guess studying has been pretty much wad i was trying to do but the results are not that great..still tryingto catch up with my sleep...stayed up the whole night to finished some stuff on thurs and slept at like 6am then have to wake up at 8 am cos gotta meet some fren...oh God...then that day went to pick jo up at the airport and spent most of the time studying der...but if you ask me...nth much went in...wed and thurs was pretty much wasted cos wed had this bbq then went yun's house to study...she was studying but i dozed off...hahah...oh well...then thurs is the day that i went bankrupt la...left with like 2 bucks after buying the presents...God...that's why janet they all ask me go out also have no money to go with them...that's the most broke time i've been since the hols started...and i'm absolutely penny-less now...not to forget that i need to proscure back-to-school stationary for the bt2 and the need-to-be-paid handphone bill...which i just remember that the person cant contact me for work cos i no phone...damn...oh well...mayby its God's plan...

arrgh...my hair is at that horrible length now that you cant tie it but its long enough to make you irrited and hot...i wanna cut but remember my resolution to try to keep it long (den i'll cut when school starts for uni next year...hahah)

oh yah...my SAT scores sucks...hope that i wouldnt end up in SMU cos with 1140...i'll need to retake it...damn...

***

there are two sides to everything...as an imperfect human...we often focus on the negativity of the situation rather than the positive...that's sth that even we as christians do also...i was just worshipping God during the cell group yest that i suddenly felt that its sth that i've been doing as well...that i look to the situation and start to ask God why He allow such stuff to happen...though beliving that He can solve it but i dwell in the negativity as well..its not healthy...think about it this way..God is so almighty...He can remove everything in your lives that is difficult but He allows us to go thru it...there must be a reason..and that from all that...we can emerge as a stronger person for Him...i think i need to learn sth...that in all things...though its bad...that's the time that i need to praise God the most cos its always easy to praise Him when things are going well...but not that easy when things are not...

***

A Wonderful Message by George Carlin:
(words in brackets by yous truly! *grinne*)

The paradox of our time in history is that
We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember: spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.

(cant help but agree with that esp after we visited ryan's grandma at sgh yest...how precious and short life can be..)

Remember: say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

(not everyone will stay forever if you do not treasure them...there's not so much they can give and if they dont receive...they will grow tired...none are perfect...we need love in return...)

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

(a hug says so much more than words)

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your loved ones, but most of all mean it.

(do not say anything that you do not mean...cos it'll hurt the person you've lied to even more...do not make any promises that you cannot keep...cos it'll lead to disappointment that can last for a lifetime...)

A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

(there's nth that mean more than sth that's true and sincere and not fake...there's too much fakeness in the world today...)

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

(say wad you feel..do not live to regret cos of the things unsaid..)

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


*** say the word
and i will sing for You
over oceans deep
i will follow
if each star was a song
and every breath of wind praise
it would still fail by far
to say all my heart contains
i simply live
i simply live for You

as the glory of Your presence
now fills this place
in worship we will meet You
face to face
there is nothing in this world
to which You can be compared
glory on glory
praise upon praise

You bind the broken hearted
and save all my tears
by Your word
You set the captive free
there is nothing in this world
that you cannot do
i simply live
i simply live for You

hillsongs australia i simply live for you

***

was reminded on this song when i was worshipping...
i like the chorus...
about how God bind the brokenhearted and save all our tears...
when we're down the first person we should go to is Him...
but many times we lean on our own strength and on friends..
but none is more reliable and faithful then Him...
cos we're all imprefect...but God is perfect...
how often we assume things and situAtions...
then in the end its not wad we thought it is...
and that lead to many misunderstandings and missed opportunities...
dont assume things...check out the truth...
though the truth may hurts but rather it turn out not the way we thot...

***

singtel not very nicely suspended all my services...
darn...now have to survive on prepaid card...
not that its not good...after all can control..
at most cant do all the calling only...
i think i'll get a new line when i get a new fone..
God noes when though...but i like singtel...
its the most trust worthy one...compared to e other 2...
i just have to settle my outstanding bill...oh well..

1 and a half week left to BT2...
something that i'm def not looking forward to...
like winnie says most people are probably not prepared...
but there will be people who are...
and i definitely do not want a repeat of BT1...
sigh...sorta read thru econs but you need more than facts dont you??
all the applications esp now that all the macro topics are all linked...
wonder why people all say macro easier man...

went to do some shopping yest...
got a couple of stuff for people's present and
got myself a adidas wallet..hahah...rather contented...
am i easily pleased??? hahah...
ran into the male zhiwei on the bus...
den am reminded of the interesting encounter of the two 'zhiwei's
and how they are both zealous zhiwei...ok...not funny...

got a bbq later...den gonna ton at yun's to study...
hopefully i get some breakthru in my geog...
all the atmoshpere and stuff killed me...
that i didnt cont after one page...
and i havent started on human yet..
that's not a very encouraging fact...
someone stone me...
*bleah*

i dont understand why
see its burning me to hold onto this
i know this is something i gotta do
but that dont mean i want to
what i'm trying to say is that i-love-you i just
i feel like this is coming to an end
and its better for me to let it go now
than hold on and hurt you
i gotta let it burn

its gonna burn for me to say this
but its comin from my heart
its been a long time coming
but we done been fell apart
really wanna work this out
but i dont think you're gonna change
i do but you dont
think its best we go our separate ways
tell me why i should stay in this relationship
when i'm hurting baby
i ain't happy baby
plus theres so many other things i gotta deal wit
i think that you should let it burn

when your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
but you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
even though this might bruise you
let it burn
let it burn
gotta let it burn

deep down you know its best for yourself but you
hate the thought of her being with someone else
but you know that its over
we know that its through
let it burn
let it burn
gotta let it burn

i'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin me that i need to move on
on e other side i wanna break down and cry
i'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin me that i need to move on
on e other side i wanna break down and cry

usher buRn

***

went swimming(again) with siang just now...actually the original plan was to go jogging..i even dragged myself out of my bed to come all the way to s'goon..den we feel that its too hot..so we decided to go swimming...thank God that i got my swimming stuff along...its a good 10 laps...i missed running and playing ball though..people let's meet up soon to play some balls...

hmmm...left with like 2 week before the horrid block test 2...wldnt say that i havent studied...but not like its good solid mugging either...i better do well this time round..getting a COO is not that cool really like it sounds...i hope the rest of the team can be able to pick up too...

have yet to clear my fone bill...so its still the incoming only...sigh...but then again...its not that hard living without a fone...but its gets real frustrating when you cant reply and you need to arrange some stuff..oh well..not having a job makes everything worse...esp to have my braces up in less than a month's time...hahah...but i was going thru the benefits of putting the braces...i think its a good way for weight loss..after all i think u can only manage porridge after extracting like 4 good teeth...arrgh...and the once a month tightening...suddenly i dont feel like it..but wad to do...all the things that people do for straight teeth...and not to forgot...you pay to give yourself all the pain...a costly pain somemore...somehow the $2000 makes all the financial problems magnify further...arrgh...sigh...

hahah...cant believed that i stayed home the whole day yest..ok...i went out for dinner..but that's just downstairs..its one of those rare sundays..no cell and no services to go...hahah...but i didnt get much done..i mean how much can you do when you wake up at noon...i did some chinese though...fen and kong yi ji...hahah...then i watched tv all the way...hahah...caught bend it like beckham on channel five...had to fight with my dad over the tv...hahah...but i managed to watch my show...yay..its ok la...rather corny show...like this part..where juliet say that "just becos i dont dress like a girl and i play sport does not make me a lesbian!" that's so the persception of girls who plays 'guys' sports...and jus becos we perfer short hair and the game over guys does not make us lesbians..oh well..sorry for the sudden outburst...heheh...though i agree that sometimes the things we do quite mis-leading...hahah...

Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
flowing from the grace
that i found in You
and Lord i've come to know
e weaknesses i see in me
will be stripped away
by the power of Your love

hold me close
let Your love surround me
bring me near
draw me to Your side.
and as i wait
i'll rise up like the eagle
and i will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
in the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes
let me see You face to face
e knowledge of Your love
as You live in me
Lord renew my mind
as Your will unfolds in my life
in living every day
in the power of Your love

hillsongs power of Your love

***

this entry is getting rather long man...
oh well..there's some stuff on my mind...
not exactly about me directly...
but rather a friend...
some classmates last time...
i somehow managed to understand the situation that she's going thru abit...
after all i've gone thru that...
some stuff that i wanna say la...if you read this...
if the friendship or realationship is real it wld not be so easily broken apart but things that are not true..i dont understand why wld other outsiders do such stuff to spoilt the relationship and friendship but there are people whp derive pleasure in doing that..and wish that you guys are not together as friends...cos of jealousy?? i dont know la...i read sth from another's friend's blog..she says that a believer's true friends are difficult to be non-believers...you know the degree of your belief better than me..so think thru that...i have learnt that some people are just hi-and-bye friends..that though might seemingly be your friends...but ultimately they are not your true friends...true friends never give up on you so easily..they never waver...i dunno la...jus think thru it..if you wanna salvage the friendship its not impossible but at the end of the day is it worth it to go thru so much for sth that may once again fall??
they are the ones who hurt me and i've learnt from that...i noe that it hurts...i went thru that...i'm glad now just to maintain the sort of relationship with them...cos i've found and am blessed with many other better ones...just like you...you are special..dont settle for sth less..you get wad i mean?? do update me yah?? love you lots and so do the rest of us here...*hugs*

that's a very long entry...gotta try to mug after lunch...
hmmmm...

sigh...there are presents to buy...
i had a sort of a nightmare where people leave...
like they no longer care...
it seems like in life...
there will be alot of people in your life...
some come and go...
whereas some stay and they leave with you footprints in your heart...
it is stated in the bible that in order to have friends you must first yourself be a friend..so i guess it shows more of giving than about receiving...i guess you cant just receive and receive and keep receiving...but i guess that's what i was doing sometimes...
hoping to receive more out of stuff...
how do you define friends den???
i guess i was so hurt before that i dont have that many people whom i wld call friends...
but there are some who never gave up on me...
those who accept me as i am...
but i guess i need to be careful...
now that i know that they are there i dont want them to tire out...
dont wanna wear them out...friends they might be but they can be te one giving all the time...i need to do my part too...

***

the past week had been a week of rest...
so i think studying starts this week for me...
gonna go watch harry potter later...hahah..
i caught the part one on tv last night...
no wonder people are captivated by magic...
but it can turn evil...
not that i believe in magic...
anyway...i guess i like this kind of more child show...
supposed to be more innocent but is it really true??
dim sum buffet...wad a blast...
i think that the 5 of us almost exploded...hahah...

***

i think i'm starting to live my life right...
and the beginning is the start...
when i begin to forget so much of u...
and expect less from you...

*** and i never thought i'd feel this way
and as far as i'm concerned
i'm glad i got the chance to say
that i do believe i love you

and if i sld ever go away
well then close your eyes and try
to feel the way we do today
and then if you can remember

keep smiling, keep shining
knowing you can always count on me, for sure
that's what friends are for
gor good times and bad times
i'll be on your side forever more
that's what friends are for

well you came in loving me
and now there's so much more i see
and so by the way i thank you

oh and then for the times when we're apart
well then close your eyes and know
the words are coming from my heart
and then if you can remember

that's what friends are for

===

friends
it is a amazing word...
how do you define a friend??
someone who cares??
someone who is always there??
i guess everyone has their own definition...
siang just reminded me...
a friend doesnt have to talk everyday...
or be there all the time...
but still feel as close...though there is a secret connection...
it takes two to clap...
just as i sow into my friend's life...
i see the same amount of effort that they put in into my life...
to accecpt all my flaws but still love me as i am...
to not give up on me and still believe that u can...
to be there to encouarge and stand in faith and pray for me...
i guess they put in so much more...
i guess we all put in alot...
but its not the amount that has been put in...
it cld be little but if we open our hearts to receive it...
a little can mean alot...
a sms...a post on the tag-borad even...a smile...
we all live in a world where we are all so busy...
that people thinks that others dont care...
but have we also done our parts as well...
the chopsticks dont work when there's one side to it...
sometimes we dont receive the efforts put in...
when its done for a friend...we wld give up...
like Jesus giving His life for us...
He's our ultimate best friend...
He never give up...
but just as it takes two...
all the friendship and relationships takes two...
i hope tat i'll be able to do that too...
to not only receive from people but tosow in their lives too...

***
to all my friends...
though i sometimes may not say it...
but you guys mean the world to me...
***

God is great...the past three days had been a blast...
the presence of God is so tangible in the house of God that i can just stay and worship if there is no limit to time...is that wad we wld be doing for eternity...it sure feels good...i see the power of God changing lives and God rising up w new chosen generation to be world shakers and history makers...though we are youths let us not despise it but the let not waste our youths away...God never promise that it wld be easy...the devil will try all means to distract us from the will of God in our lives...but God has given to us the Holy Spirit to be our helper...there's nothing that i need to fear...i've learnt so much...such a tangible encounter with God that my dead dream has been revive...though it's not easy...i choose to stand strong in God beliving in His promises...for the earth will pass away but His word will by no means pass away...the Holy Spirit will empower us ro do great things for God...i dont know about the rest...but i feel excited about this new beginning of a new chapter of my walk with God..my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus...

woah...i feel Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

===
J for Jesus
C for Christ
JC revival for Jesus Christ
we see Jesus in JC changing lives
in Him we'll stand together as one
emerge for such a time as this
revival is wad we gonna see
we got the power
we got the might
we gonna change the world
and rock with Christ!

===

that's the JC cluster cheer for the emerge conference...
we didnt do well at the end...
but we had fun...
and the main thing about this conference...
is the wonderful presence of God...
we've learnt so much more in the past two days...
i mean not only that but also being filled once again...
though i've been busy helping out and stuff...
but i felt that i needed a new revelation...
and this conference rekindled that...
i think we could worship God all day at the expense of time...
but where else wpuld it be better than the house of God
enjoying His presence and feeling refreshed once again...
lives are being changed everyday...
the power of God moving mightily in the lives of the young people...
to take the world for Christ..
i want to be part of it...though i may not know how...
there are times that we try to help God...
but things still doesnt work out...
i guss that's the time that we need to be like david...
be quick to go back to God's words and God's ways...
be like abraham...be quick to repent and change...
to always be in the obedience of God's words...

===

over the mountains and the seas
Your river flows with love for me
and i will open up my heart
and let the Healer set me free
i'm happy to be in the truth
and i'll daily lift my hands
and i'll always sing of when Your love came down

i couls sing of YOur love forever
i could sing of Your love forever
i could sing of Your love forever
i could sing of Your love forever

oh i feel like dancing
its fiilishness i know
but when the world has seen the light
they will dance with joy
like we're dancing now...

hillsongs i could sing of Your love

===

i love this song
it brings me back to that day
where i gave my heart to Jesus...
and my life had never been the same again...
i dont ever wanna lose such a love...
if anyone reading this...
you feel that you've been like me...
busy with everything...
school sports friends...
i think God is more important...
when everything fails when people disappoint you
only God will be there when things fade away...
just come to God like a child...
simple at heart and would try to help God...
God is always here
yesterday today and forever...

==

freak...i'm late...
gotta go...........

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