isnt technology and new media just amazing? i mean really..like i just managed to talk to fengyi who is miles away online..i guess we really gotta thank the pioneers of the internet..and i guess that it makes the world seems smaller?

***
Cell group meeting was good. Though I always think that they are good la...
But it seems like I’ve not been spending time in the presence of God that makes everything so good and refreshing. The message was about God being our provider and the 4 kinds of tests that we might face in our lives: people, priority, persistence and pressure. They are so evidently part of our lives and that we face them almost everyday. I guess that this is something that we know from the beginning but we need to be reminded about it once in a while.
i went home and did sth that i havent done for quite awhile to really take up my guitar though i cant really play it and spend time to worhship and that felt really good i wld say..so many times we get caught up with the things that are happening that we become so tired that we forgot that the main calling is to called to worship..and we get so tired just trying to do things by our own strength and efforts that we totally miss out on the things that we are called to do..

***

you know sometimes its really difficult to write down what you really wanna say...i felt like blogging but after t started blogging..i totally lost my train of thoughts..

***

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

::Majesty (Here i Am):: Delirious? ::

***

ahh..oh well..i guess i'll just go pray.. i really sld be studying now that i'm in school..i ought to be studying insted of using the net..hahah...but oh well.

anyway..went back to SA for a senior/junior match and needless to say i'm pretty useless to the team cos i was like panting like nobody's business after the 2nd lap of running already..i tink that i'm really hopeless man..but i guess that 's what you get for not working out for like 8 months? that's long and i'm totally out of shape for sports man..so was telling yz that she sld come down to NUS to play ball with us since SIM is not atht far off either..

anyway..i went back and thought about it and i know that our darling yz reads my blog so i think i can better explain about the missionary work that i dint really managed to explain yesterday..
hmmm..i believe that God has created everyone with a different purpose and destiny..hence is everyone supposed to be a missionary? NO! that's why there are pastors, apostles etc etc and there are people who will just remian in the maketplaces and yet they are fulfilling the destinies that God has in store for them...becos if that is sth that God waants you to do then He would have put in you the abilities and potential to become who He wants you to be...missionaries are not the same as a pastor though many times the definition are pretty much associated together. but i think that it would be good for Chritsians to go for short mission trips if we can lah...but not everyone is to become missionaries..does that help to explain better?

hahah..after yesterday's geog tutorial, i was thinking how much changes that i need to make to the way that i think and how i handle questions and the way that i answer and respond to them. it seems like i am still stuck in the realm where everything is so simplistic and easy, so stardardised as at the 'A' levels but i guess that i really gotta renew my mind about this whole thing..thank GOd that in SA mr Lee tj really taught us some pretty solid stuff and equiped me with what i need now..i guess that's what he always mean by education not just for the exams for useful in the future...he always show us to see out of the box and forces us to tiink...now i'm thankful for all that...hahah hahah..dont understand how com yingzi can say got nothing to blog...cos i think that since school started i've been blogging more...maybe cos of the wireless camous that i tend to use the net more now than not. but i guess that with all these comes the hassle of having to check your mail regularly and things like that...but yet i feel tired and dont really feel like blogging now...hahah...

jus had lunch at the munchie monkey...it was alright lah...i guess the calamari is abit disappointing cos of the small portion but i think that they got it from some outside source that's why the price is a bit steeper...

am supposed to bring sth that i feel represent me for new media tutorial tml but i tink that i'll just bring my phone...doing a show and tell for the 1st tutorial lesson is not funny la...but i guess at least its not boring...

was reading some of the blogs of the people i know...seems like many are like going through a rough patch in their life right down...so explicit in the blog while some are implicit...i guess we're all people with emotions that's why we have a tendency to feel and sometimes i guess that does bring us down...an there is no one on this earth who can understand totally how and what we're feeling, that's why i guess pastor sy says at this time people just need to know that they're treasured...so everyone out there...ou know how you guys are la...i love you guys and dont let this get you down...know that God is there for you...

speaking of emtions...i just learnt today about the creation and the process of creating the internet...it was created for the intention for military purposes and this is where we are today now. not to forget that how many people did not welcome the idea and not believe in the potential of this whole thing...that is such a sad situation. and that the email was created before there was internet and the netscape, or rather the internet explorer...new media lecture is interesting...thank God for that cos its like at 8 in the morning..
however, SE Asian studies is not that pleasant today...not only the things that we learnt but also that it was pretty sleep-inducing...no offense to the lecturer...
indian and Javanese art are full of implicit sexual contents, which i really wonder are all that necessary to be imputed into the creative content? the whole lecture was pretty similar throughout...so i guess we just dozed off..hahah

***

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

:: Perfect :: Simple Plan ::

***

i guess that there are so many things that i didnt do it according to the way that you want me to. sometimes i'm just so ired of having to put up with all the things that you have got to say and the way that you handle things..i know that you tried your best and i never felt that you were never good enough so dont think of yourself that way...i wish i could help but sometimes i just feel so easy to just rely and lean on you...i guess its not easy being alone all these years, i never ask you to stay that way...you wanted that so dont blame it on me. why am i at fault for all the things that i fail to be? teach me how to be the girl you want me to be.

*** am feeling really tired after the tonning at the airport on saturday night till sun morning and then after that on sun night went to church for overnight prayer meeting...went home slept for 2 hours and came to school for econs lect and here after just slacking in the student lounge trying to get abit of rest before work later...not having any regrets for studying up for either nights becos both meant so much to me...

i wld say that the sending off of my best pal...well...it went down better than i thought that it wld be...no tears and basically it's as if we'll still see each other at a dial of the phone which is unfortunately not so...nevertheless..do take care of yourself and when you're back let me know k?? in the meantime i guess just stay in touch though i know that you're a busy girl...hahah
anyway...thanks to perez for going down to the airport with me and at the same time got wendy and naresh to go as well so that i wldnt be alone at the airport..though i dont think that you guys need to do that...know that i appreciate that...

overnight prayer meeting...i was pretty worn out by then with job training yest afternoon after like only 3 hours of sleep...then there was work at night before going down to church but still it was good and the presence of God cannot be subsituted...though my flesh is really unwilling...hahah...but thank God that the concert went by by the grace of God...

***

pastor sy came for the weekend and each service is totally awesome...i think to me it really meant alot...cos of the things that he shared really ministered me and he's a preacher who really set you thinking and link the teachings back to your own life...i guess so many of us never truly understood the degree of GOd's love in the way that he put it...like its so simple and beautiful, not complicated but really...simple and pure...i simply just love how pastor sy relates to his congregation...and God has and is using him in such a great way...

*** The Whisper Test

I grew up knowing I was different, and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate, and when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth, and garbled speech.

When schoolmates asked, “What happened to your lip?” I’d tell them I’d fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me.

There was, however, a teacher in the second grade whom we all adored—Mrs. Leonard. She was short, round, happy—a sparkling lady.

Annually we had a hearing test…. Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that as we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher sitting at her desk would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back—things like “The sky is blue.” or “Do you have new shoes?” I waited there for those words that God must have put into her mouth, those seven words that changed my life. Mrs. Leonard said, in her whisper, “I wish you were my little girl.

***

This was the story that Pastor Sy ended with at the service today...and people...remember...

we're all God's little boys and girls.

***
ok...one thing about the airport...whats the point of making the whole place wireless when only starhub people get to use it for free? i have no answer...arrgh...
that makes the shift from coffee bean to mac useless and here i am at some dumb comp at the counter there...man...
anyway...i still dint get my new media tutorial...so i like short of a tutorial...so why? cos the slots that they have tutorials i dint get and those with vacancy we've got econc lect...so that leaves me and geok tutorial-less..i guess that they sld really do something about this whole issue...see...cos not i dint ballot but i dint get anything that i can make it...
this whole nus administrative thing is making life at the school unproductive...to think that you have to do it every sem! doesnt make me in any way look forway to it man...
at the airport to send someone off to michigan...i guess the truth and the reality is now sinking in now that i'm at the airport...its going to be a long 4 years...

NUS POS team @ the Marketplace for dinner

***



Me aNd PeiYun

***



Me and peiyun...


***



Me, zhiwei and fengyi...when we finally met up...hahah

***

here are some photos taken over the months...hahah...oh well...i think that i'm like lagging though...so backdated...

i'm blogging from my new laptop...woah..that's do cool...cos i'm riding on someone else's wireless...is that sth like cheating?? hahah but i guess that's the cons and pros of the information technology...hahah

aNyway...had the presentation for the street art competition just now...i guess me and peiyun were both pretty nervous...i think that's an understatement...but well...we didnt win..but i guess that it's a pretty good experience...

anyway...i'm jus thinking izzit against the law to ride on somebody's else wireless?? i mean they dont pay extra lah...but still...i feel quite bad about it though...hahah

*** You know I feel there's something 'bout to break now.
You know I feel there's a city here to take now.
And it's not so tough for these ordinary hands,
When we trust someone with extraordinary plans.

You know I feel this heart's about to break now,
Cos I can see what the devil's trying to take now,
We've got this leather backed book and a freedom cry,
And we're an army of God who are ready to die.

You give us hope where hope is gone,
You fill the streets with a holy song,
We’re gonna paint this big old town red.

Oh, here we come, here we come
Oh, here we come, here we come

You know I feel this sky's about to break now.
You know I feel our city's gonna shake now.
And we hear you call every woman and man,
"Ring the mission bell" and storm the gates of hell.

Miracles run from street to street
Rise up Church for a holy meet
We’re gonna paint this big old town red
We’re gonna paint this big old town red
With the blood of Jesus!

:: Paint the Town Red :: Delirious? ::

***



***

that's the lead of delirious? i think that he looked better at the FOP but ladies...to your disappointment...he's taken lah..hahah...but he still looks good...glory of the LOrd...heheh...

anyway...me geok and adel is like stuck in the comp lab now cos we're trying to ballot for our tutorials but like the network is like congested beyond words can describe...now you know what it meant by fei1 bi3 mo4 suo3 neng2 xin2 rong2...oh well...we'll be at this for the past 2 hours and we're still trying to get in...hopeless...arrgh...so that's why we're like blogging and like checking friendster of all things...oh well...its just one of those things that you thought of doing while you're bored beyond words...

=server unavailable...arrgh=

you know if someone who is doing computing sld just help to do sth about the dumb network and the system in nus...help them to be more efficient?? i dunno lah...its quite getting on our nerves...and you gotta go through the same things EVERY sem!!! oh man...

anyway...we went for the floorball trials nyesterday which we dont think that we'll have much chances of getting in...but its like a workout after like a whole year and all of us are like aching all over especially our thighs...i think that we still prefer sth that is more tangible as compared to a stick...but still its a new experience yah??

dont think that there is much to blog about cos i think that i dont usually blog that regularly anyway...but we went queensway that day and monaqx managed to buy her shoes and i managed to get what i want as well so that's quite a fruitful trip...oh yah...managed to meet up with shirley and suwen that day and we went to muchie monkey (alright...izzit singular or pural???) our dear meisiang who is in archi is too busy to meet us so there is like only the 3 of us...but it wasnt so bad...baby you gotta make it up sometimes ok?? hahah...oh well...

i am actually getting sick of blogging already and i have yet to log into the system...this is how bad the congestion is lah...man...

*** have you ever wonder how amazing this age where we gather information so easily brings?? i guess that it helps us in major ways...like the way that nus uses it and also other ways like getting to know about your friend's life through blogging and communicating online and also through telecommunication such as the cell phone...this is not my essay for my module..but i was just struck with certain thoughts that well...i guess that i wasnt feel too cheerful at this point in time...

i guess i begin to understand certain similar feelings that a friend of mine felt (well girl you know who you are) when she started school back in may...like this is a whole new environment and ya i thank God that i'm blessed that i have many of my friends with me...and they would always say that there are alot of people i know around school...but look at it this way...are alll the people i know my good friends?? i dont think so as much as i wld love to have that...but i guess you dont just tell your life story to everyone...

reading from what others have written has left me wondering am i the only one feeling so lost and alone when the rest are picking up where they have left it...while i begin to lose the people around me one by one?? people that you used to hang out with still hangs out together just that now you're no longer part of them...people whom you call your good friends but now they've got their own new good friends...people who are leaving one by one to chase their dreams and their destinies in the vast world beyond the shores of this little island...will they still remember you when they are back?? new people new faces...i've felt this way before that time that people left...why do i have to feel it again...i was naive to think that i'll not be affected...cos keeping in touch would be difficult...in singapore what more others...
am i the only one who sits in the big LT surrounded by chatters of the people around and the jokes that the lecturers say to retain our attenttion...yet what is the real picture is...is that i'm just sitting at the corner of a room...hugging my knees while the earth continue spinning...

***

girl, i told you that sometimes things happen not the way that we wld want it to be...but yet they happen for and cos of a reason...you may not know why you have to go through all the stuff...but i guess the only comfort that we can have is not in the people around us...cos they cannot be there all the time and understands totally...but i guess...i'm glad that at least i know that i have God whom i can run to...i dont know or understand what you're going through...i dont even understand the way i feel...but i know that i can rule over all these crap emotions and stay strong in this broken down world...stay strong...i know that you can make it...love you *hugs*

***

life still goes on and the earth keeps spinning...the devil continues with his plot of destroying people and making them miss their destinies...so easy to tell people what to do and yet at the same time myself needed some help as well...but no matter what..life still goes on...i tell people that things will work out aLright and we'll be fine with the strength and the rest in God...and i truly believe that....now all i need is Your touch once again...Your little girl is here all alone sitting in the rain of the words that people say and the things that they do...would you come and carry me back into Your embrace once again...i know what i need to do...stand up and walk to you...cos You're always there..always always there... 2nd day of school and i had to wake up at 6 plus in the morning...ahh...what a torture...but well at least the lecturer is interesting...makes you think that actually 2 hours lectures actually arent that bad...
went to sentosa yesterday after our cell metting and we had quite alot of fun there though we didnt really get that mch of a tan if you ask me...but though we didnt do much but it was def some workout there judging from the degree that we were all so tired...but still it was great!!

===

FOP (5th to 7th aug)
i simply love delirious...not only cos the lead singer is so good-looking la..
there is sth that i learnt in the 3 nights there able worship...it is that the praise can be loud and extravagant and yet at the same time when we came to worship its all about the attitude that we have...if we do not a heart of worship it wld just ba another sing-along session in a rock concert and lives would not be changed...praise is meant to be loud cos what contradiction is to praise softly.?? but yet at the same time i respect those who prefer a more toned down sort of praise and worship...cos God is looking at the hearts...
what that makes me and most of my friends angry is that the attitude that some people have are so bad...i mean there are people who went off once the praise and worship is over and only came back after the preaching?? what is this?? the Word is so importand and i think that pastor Colin dye is just a fantastic preacher...ans all 3 nights of msg are just great...and there are so many poeple who are walking up and down from their seats in the midst of the service...if you dont respect the preacher...i think God deserve the respect...i do understand that when you need to go to the toilet you need to go...but i think 3 hours without the use of the toilet...i can survive...its all in the attitude...the worse thing is those who pack their bags and leave once the preaching starts...what do they think this is?? a rock concert??
i thank God that i had the priviledge to do mobile selling for the 3 nights...if not i guess i wldnt be there for all 3 nights cos i think that others desereved the chance to be there and enjoy the move of God and the presence of God that is there...i truly understand that we have limited places and i dont think that i wld go for all three nights though the preaching is simply great...but one thing that i realised is that i totallhy need to change the view that i have...i used to think that christians are all very nice...but that is not so...as much as i want to believe that...true that everyone have their own flaws...i have many i admit and i'm trying to deal with them...with the helpand the grace of God but i guess that there are some things that i wldnt do...
like i wldnt make comments of those who are selling the cds...which the proceeds will pay for the FOP whom i'm attending...you're not intending to buy...den keep silent...and not make comments like "crazy people" ans imitating us...do you think it is easy?? i wld say that i rather join the queue and just enjoy the service...and those who cut queue...i mean i saw a whole group just cutting my cell members queue when they come like hours laTer...i guess even the church have people who are not so nice...not to mention that some people are not so nice when they talk about other churches...-- i was on the bus then there was dis group of people who were saying that i think xx church people camp overnight to queue...i mean thanks for the compliment of sayinng that we're hungry for the move and presence of GOd but i guess we're not so bo-liao ans also...DONT just speculate...not everything is just link to us la...i mean all the time we get all the talkings behind our back!! then again...i guess the Bible's right...we rather be a fool for Christ...and i'm at peace with God cos i know that i'm right with God and that i'm in the right standing with Him...all the rest...apart from blogging down...i guess its all up to GOd to judge...

===

OVER THE MOUNTAINS AND THE SEA
YOUR RIVER RUNS WITH LOVE FOR ME
AND I WILL OPEN UP MY HEART
AND LET THE HEALER SET ME FREE
I'M HAPPY TO BE IN THE TRUTH
AND I WILL DAILY LIFT MY HANDS
I WILL ALWAYS SING
OF WHEN YOUR LOVE CAME DOWN

I COULD SING OF YOUR LOVE FOREVER
I COULD SING OF YOUR LOVE FOREVER
I COULD SING OF YOUR LOVE FOREVER
I COULD SING OF YOUR LOVE FOREVER

O I FEEL LIKE DANCING
IT'S FOOLISHNESS I KNOW
BUT WHEN THE WORLD HAS SEEN THE LIGHT
THEY WILL DANCE WITH JOY
LIKE WE'RE DANCING NOW

:: i could sing of your love forever :: Delirious ::

its one of the most beautiful song that i love since the day i stepped into church...yet i didnt realised that it was written by delirious...so many of the songs that we love are written by people whom we do not realise...didnt like delirious so much till now...in fact now i think that i was so ignorant to used to say that delirious are loud...cos i got to meet them face to face and they are just so anointed and yet so humble and approachable.... It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe

When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side

It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you...to you

: : Long Long Journey : :

is life's journey really that long??
its a long long journey here without you I know theres something in the wake of your smile
I get an ocean from the look in your eyes...
yeahYouve been to love but that love falls apart
A little piece of heaven turns to dark

Listen to your heart when hes calling for you
Listen to your heart
Theres nothing else you can do
I dont know where your going, and i dont know why
But listen to your heart before
You tell him goodbye

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is whats ???
The precious moments are a lost in the time..yeah
There swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of your loving..to your dreams

: : Listen to Your Heart : : DHT : :

hmm....ahh well........................................
OLDER | NEWER