i was jus passing by the wake downstairs and its so lively and joyful, full of people and it seems sad to me that one of the occasions that people will be gathered together is during a wake, where relatives you never even seen before or heard of come together and gather for supposedly the wake but to indulge themselves in games of mahjong and black jack or dai dee..*hmmm* i am not saying that we sld all look sad and stuff and make the family even more sad..be natural..but i guess i would prefer sth that is more quiet and not like turn into a gambling den..if i pass away people, i want a christian wake ok???

i am going to take biz minor, but i still have to bid together with the rest of the people, i guess that the only advantage is that i get to bid for it in round 2 instead of round 3..but i am happy that i get to do my biz modules *grinne* biz minor!! cool-ness...but i have not decided on my major yet, i guess that i will cross the bridge when i come to that part bah...*hmmm*

i dont see having a sad background or whatsoever give you the right to be a diffcult person to get along becos you dont have to inflict the pain that you experience on other people. no doubt that it is inevitable that you might behave a certain way cos of the way that you are affected since you were young but i guess that jus doesnt give you an excuse to be a difficult person. people can try to be understanding but i guess that everyone has their own problems as well and the world doesnt owe us a living. nothing much but just some thoughts, i think that i used to be very difficult to get along and i think that i have the right to do that cos it seems like since things dint go my way when i was young maybe i can get to do things my way now. but i realised that in trying to do that i am hurting the people around me and i guess that is sth that i dont want to have happen. i may not be perfect now but i am trying to change, trying to be more sensitive and trying to be better, i jus hope that you dont judge me from what you see, becos you dont see the other side of me (oh..it rhymes..wahaaha)

as the year draws to an end, i tend to look at how the people around me has been to me in the past year, many has done alot of things for me and i thank God for those people who in their own ways touched my life so much. i guess now i need to look at me through their eyes and i hope that i had made a difference in their lives as well..i hope so... i wanna say a few things:
1. we DONT serve ICE WATER at rouge outdoors and its NOT our fault..ask the management!!! stop giving us the staff a hard time!!!!!
2. the washroom is through alleybar and right turn at the end..irritating answer that we repeat hundred over times each day..they sld haf a solution for that..

anyway..those are unhappy things here are some happy ones...here are some of the things i got for christmas:


jacket that bestie got for me :) love it!



here's the other jacket which i love as well..



here is bun bun, a doggie with identity crisis from vann.



i love this bball game sweet, kept me entertained for quite awhile..hahah



bath set!!!

i totally LOVE those 2 jackets that i got, one would do a great job in the freezingly coild LTs in NUS and the other is this really nice jacket for going out i saw at marina and you 2 beloved got it for me!! love you guys..and thats bun bun from vanessa..the doggie with the identity crisis..haha..wanna know why ask me lar..and that is a bball game sweet that i enjoy playing..haha..though it gets boring after LONG time..but its still fun..*cheap thrill* and the body shop bath set from my darling daughters...hahah..i think its a great harvest..maybe i am easily contented!! but who cares!! thanks bestie for the jacket..mus have caused quite a hole in your wallet..you are always so nice and such a darling..what can i do for you man?? :)

***

went to the tasty town Hans to eat and the service there is disappointing, seriously, i never felt so bad..the cashier threw the change at the counter according to my aunt and she said that its as if she treat my aunt like a beggar..and the rest is not much better lar..like the banging of our drinks and soup on the counter...forget it la..and my medium sirloin became almost well done...i guess i chose to patronise them..so i shall zip...sigh....

***

went to watch chronicles of Narnia- the lion, the witch and the waredobe. it is a very nice show. i am not exactly a fan of fantasy show but i would say that this is a really good show. everyone sld go watch it esp believers, cos it has biblical references and it told the story of Jesus in a special way, i thought that it totally captured the essence of it all. C.S. Lewis has written a great book and the transformation into a film is simply wonderful. so if you dont get it(the link to the Bible) can ask me and this is to get you started - the lion represent Jesus who is the lion of Judah..coolness right?? i totally enjoyed myself at the show. despite the unhappy ending to work yesterday which i dont wanna talk about it anymore.

***

a new round of bidding begins for the new semester in the new year. as the end of the year draws close, people cldnt help but begin to make new resolutions and hoping that the new year will bring with it something good esp if the year that had jus passed had been a horrible one. a new year also imply a new beginning, for many it means that they get to live all over again. but a new year is jus like any other year, the change take place not becos of the day on the calendar but it take place in your heart. i look forward to the new year with mixed emotions, i know that there will be new opportuinities and chances, yet there are great uncertainties in the future ahead. prayer is the thing that we need. indeed we need to fulfill the prophecy that has been written long before our birth and hopefully that will last through eternity.

how is your future like?? you can mould it into what you want it to be. if that is the case, what would you do?? yet i know that i need the strength of someone greater than i am to help me through the coming year. Oh holy night
The stars are brightly shining
This is the night of our dear saviour's birth

Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
'Til he appeared
And the soul felt it's worth

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angels voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night, Oh night divine

:: Night Divine ::

alright i think that someone can jus kill me..i admit that i dont deserve the results that i got cos i admit that i did not put in the efforts deserving of the grades. and pls once and for all, when i say that i dint study this and that and this and that it meant that i really dint study. i am not that kind of person who wld lie about not studying and then be a closet mugger..there is no need for me to lie..*hmm* sigh..let's not talk about this on such a wonderful day which happen to be my favourite holiday -- Christmas!!! yay-ness...

service was great..the drama this year is really glory to glory, i think that they are really good *applause* *grinne* and i am really glad cos couzzie came for service and so did stacy..God is a miracle working God and i think that the drama bring out that point very well..whatever situation that we are going thru..God is in it, when we are like mary and joseph -- unable to find an inn, God can provide a manger. though it may not seemed to be the best, actually its all in God's plan, just that we may not realise it.

after that we went to play at the carnival, it was quite alright, then we headed down to esplanade in hopes of a countdown, to our disappointment and many others who were there as well, there apparently isnt one. so at the stroke of midnight, half of us were still expecting some fireworks but after 5 mins we realised that there isnt going to be any and the people there started their own round of screaming and celebrations!! hahax..it was quite entertaining seeing the sulken faces and the disappointed crowd..why isnt there a celebration for christmas?? oh well...

think i better go slp now..gotta go for service later!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :) well, i did well for my exams and i know that i know that this is all God's grace cos i know that i am undeserving of these grades. thank GOd that smoking was allowed in the exams hall (err..its a joke here lar...). but seriously i really thank God for my results, i will work hard next sem, i think anything more than what i did is alot more. thank God for everything and everything.

but why am i not happy?? i feel so lonely in this quest, i know that i am not alone,
i know that You are always there with me. but i just feel like i am in this race alone and despite trying so hard i do not see the results, i am stressed and i am at a lost of what to do cos i feel so lousy right now. if i were to choose i rather that i have not so good results (i know that this is not sth that i sld say but i really dont mind getting results that is not so good and i rather that this cell group will grow.) sigh..GOd help us!

i saw this on br's msn: courage is fear that has said its prayers. i thought that was good and right now i think that i need courage and faith. God i need you!!!

the end of myself is the beginning of God. sprained ankle better today even though there was much walking, i think that wearing sport shoes instead of anything with heels must have helped its recovery. *grinne*

work was quite fun today (yesterday night was like super busy lar) anyway there was this guy at T16 that wanted his steak VERY well done (mind you!) and we gave him what he wants (who ever eat their steak VERY well done??) and after that he asked for A1 steak sauce, if anyone heard of that before pls let me know what is it. we seriously do not know what it is and there isnt anyone with complain about our steak sauce before but he was like saying "if you dont have the steak sauce why do you sell steak?" anyway we thought that he is the weird one cos it is better to eat steak fresh without so much seasoning and sauce. oh well some weird people. but after that there was this really nice english couple who stop over here on their way to attend their son's wedding in NZ, and they mentioned that this is totally different from what they heard about us on tv (apparently they think that we are really hostile people so god knows how we are being portrayed in other countries) but they found it quite different, thank God for that. and they mentioned that we are very clean here and i agree and is thankful for that very fact. i am thankful that we are a clean place to live in and sometimes we take that for granted. anyway the new uniform isnt that bad but yun say that i looked funny in it. oh well.

i havent gotten round to making the christmas gifts. GOd pls save me.

***

i guess that you jus heard about what are the new arrangements, i thought that you knew all along, i thought wrong. jus as i thought that things can be normal and more comfortable, i thought wrong again. there is this air of awkwardness whenever this topic comes up and i felt bad about it. i want to tell you all that you want to know but yet at the same time i dont know if that would be something that i should do. but i guess that if i were you i would want to know as well and i know that you had gave alot to us and in return if i cant even do a small thing like that for you i feel bad but i feel so torn on both side. but i am learning how to cope better and settled down more with this new stuff, jus that sometimes ripples will be created and when that happen, i lost my footing for a moment, lost and dont know what is the next step that i can take.

***

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's whats going on, nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn

:: Natalie Imbruglia :: Torn :: hi everyone, i'm back from chalet!! hahax..

i think i am not ever going to touch morrocan mint tea for the rest of my life..it tasted so horrible and the earl grey that i am drinking now has a slight resemblance to that and it makes me sick...(puke!)

anyway i am really happy to get that nokia orginal white cover..yapx i got it already and at a much discounted rate becos it was sold to me by a friend who changed to a better phone..i am happy..hahah..havent paid her though cos i am totally broke now esp after the chalet. *hmm* i hope that it dont look like a white choc again (yuxing!! hahax)

i am suffering from the after effects of tanning last week with the nus people, i am peeling, yes like a snake changing its skin, someboby save me but this is not as bad as the after effects of cycling during the chalet! (btw..i heard that the chalet there is going to be demolished soon..i wonder why) swimming plus cycling, i feel so unfit cos i am suffering even though i dint do much. horrible.

chalet-- for the first time, i get to sit there and enjoy the food while the rest bbq away..hahax..anyway have you ever wondered how come we always eat the same food during bbq? like chicken wings, satay, hotdogs etc?? jus a thought that was passing through my mind lar..hahax..anyway after our short christmas celebrations we had gift exchange and the two teams that didnt win gotta do forfeit -- which is to go door to door and sing carols. that was super pai seh lar..esp when we go to where the anderson juniors were..feels like jus digging a hole to hide, but it is really when we all do it together that we really enjoyed ourselves though it was pai seh.. hahax...then at night we cycled to this portion where there are no streets lights at all and we are guided by the moonlight only. you never realised how bright the moon actually is until you are surrounded by darkness. on the darknest night in the year, our bright new shinning star was born on christmas day to penetrate the darkness of the world. to give light to a world where darkness rule in the hearts of man.

explore this story, watch it unreveal at the CHRISTMAS STORY @ Singapore expo hall 8. Service timings: sat 24th dec 2005 4.30pm, 7.30pm & sun 25th dec 2005 10am and 1pm. for any information- contact yours truly at my handphone.
plus there is an exciting carnival fun fair over at hall 6 where we can all go and enjoy ourselves after the services.
plus i get to see bestie when she is back cos her church is jus down the corridor!! :) thousand and one things racing through my mind that i cant pinpoint what is running through my brain. i choose to ignore this nagging feeling that tells me that there are thousand and one things that i need to do but i dont want to acknowledge them. arrgh.

the whole peranakan place are faced with a major uniform change, which most of us from outdoors to acid to alley to rouge, we have no idea why do we have to change into the new uniform. for one (esp for outdoors) we will be feeling super HOT..as in the sweaty hot..that is definitely a torture for us who are working in the open and not in the aircon like the rest. and well, i think that the new uniform look like space suit, sth that came out of star trek (no kidding!!) i am so not looking forward to the 3 afternoon shifts next week. God save me.

cant believe that i woke up early to go swimming in the morning before heading down to work. the plans for that was actually for yesterday but i was made to stay back to work cos there were people who were on mc on thurs and they were short staff. i think that its the first time that i was so nice to stand in to help. hahax. anyway, the new year resolution (yes, its time for resolutions again) is to go jogging every week from the start of the next year. let's hope that it will work out jus fine. hahax.

went to ikea to get the stuff to make the christmas gifts, i hope that i have the efforts to go and make them, considering that next week is a long week with chalet and work. okok, got to make time. but i am glad that i got one thing off my mind. one of the many.

looking at what are the modules that i can take the next semester. time flies and in the twinkling of an eye we are 7 days away from christmas, 14 days away from a new year and a few days away from the release of results and a brand new round of thinking and bidding and balloting and alot of other stuff. (do we have to do this every sem?? man...awww~)

***

the media likes to focus on what people wanna see. the rich, the glamour and all the pain and all the sad sad stuff. but in reality, most of us are neither very rich, popular or extremely poor and sad. we are jus people who are living our lives as many other people out there. everyone of has has our own song to write, our own story to tell, but are there anyone who are willing to listen? perhaps, the only stories that will ever be recorded down is in our own mind and heart and in the passage of eternity in the book shelve of God where each of us has our own book about our life story.

what is the thing that is running through your mind liwei? i dont want to think about them, i know that there are targets that are not hit, there are things that i have to face and handle. but they just take too much effort and energy. mayb i am not ready for this but then again who is? the Bible says that we are to be ready in season and out of season. i wish that i can do that. like what i told uncle, slp on it and things will get better, perhaps thats the very thing that i need to do, sleep on it and face them when i am all fresh and ready to go again in the morning. in the meantime, God and the Holy Spirit will be watching over them. get a grip on your life liwei, those that you can you do but the rest that you cant, let go and let God. it is only when a seed has fallen to the ground that it can yield much fruits. oh Lord guide us through this i pray.

***

and i get down on my knees and pray...

*** hmmm..worked the whole day today, i feel like a workaholic. sigh. that is bad. but actually i dont earn that much, can you imagine if i earn as much working as i earn giving tuition?? that would be good! so i am still broke cos my beloved tuition girl went for mission trip and she is not back yet, i hope that she got the time to do her homework though *i feel so old man* hmm..anyway back to work.. alley bar having this promotion today..so i think that it caused us outside to be very busy as well, which is sth i dont like cos i was supposed to go home at 10 but ended up working till 11..my poor pair of legs, they are so tortured. my plans to go swimming today has failed due to work, seems like there is always something that opposes to me going to catch up on the much needed excercising. wahaha.

went to watch perhaps love after bible study yesterday. almost couldnt get tickets, but thank God that there were people who dint collect their internet booking tickets so we could catch it in the end. i would say that it is quite good a movie. though the plot is a little dumb, but there were some twist to it that is captured at the right part and at the right time. not to forget that you get to watch the very shuai takashi and listen to the voice of jacky chung. but it is as stated above, listen to jacky and look at takashi, cos any other combination is horrible. alright, its not that bad, but let's just put it this way, takashi is not a singer for a reason. but i quite like certain scenes and the location that they film it, i guess that there is a reason why it is nominated to run for the best foreign film inthe oscars. not bad at all for a chinese movie plus its almost 2h long, so its worth the money. hahax. but then, watching the show jus made me even more broke than i already am. sigh.

***

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
you've built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark

listen to your heart
when he's calling for you
listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you’re going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye

sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
they're swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams

and there are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can't find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind

:: listen to your heart :: DHT ::

i really like this song. *hmmm..i guess that sometimes we really got to listen to our heart more, sometimes you cant just listen to your brain and your mind. use your heart to feel what is the right thing to do and react according to what your heart asks you to do. so many times we thought that we are jus making a wise decision but end up regreting it. listen to your heart, becos it might jus be the thing that God wants you to do. He doesnt work only in the rationale and reasoning but He has created us to feel Him and to fellowship with Him, that's why i feel even more so that He will speak to our heart than our mind. dont let your intellect rule over your heart and what He wants you to do.

**

have i listened to what You are speaking to my heart today.
i grant You the permission to the key of my heart.

***

will be at chalet from sunday to tuesday. dont think i'll be online. hahax.. alright, i officially declare myself to be nocturnal, i cant seem to get to sleep -- that is bad!! *sigh*

its raining again, but i'm feeling very warm, maybe that's cos of the sunburn from sentosa outing on monday -- which was blesssed with sunny, bright sun for the whole afternoon and we are all chao ta for now. the beach is like really dirty, so i suggest that they do some cleaning up. clement found a tray inside in sea which we later used for playing, i think that's what left over from the zouk out on saturaday. *hahax*. after that, peiyun and i went to meet glenda to get some of her christmas shoppoing done, once again, i dint get much things, *hmm i dont like the feeling of being broke, i guess that i really need to work more..(anyone has good ONE day job lobang pls intro..anyway i am stil thinking about that k2 tuition job..sld i take it up?? *hmm)

went out today in hopes of getting some christmas gifts, however i dint really managed to get anything. nothing much left for me to spend, even getting the pathetic $35 of pay for working that ONE shift last month. so people, dont expect too much of a christmas gift this year, i'll offer up my prayers for all of you. *hahax* i think that sleeplessness is a really horrible thing. anyone has nice vcd to lend, actually i'm looking for the wang zi bian qing wa series, so if anyone has that, do spare and lend me!!! *please*

anyway shu and i went to eat the long craved for dao huey today and it was great, but that bowl of dao huey make me too full for anything staple for dinner which leaved me hungry during work. work -- it was interesting cos there were a few people who came down to get pay and stuff like that and there was someone who went to turn and release the CO2 which lead to a small comotion. *hahax* quite interesting laHx...

***

why do i feel that i am jus blabbering about the things that happened and i seems to be someone who is looking in through the looking glass?
dont really feel like blogging already. i cant seem to find the chinese lyrics that i want. sigh. i am into chinese songs suddenly, i think that it is a chinese songs day, which means i am feeling a little poetic. *hahax*

***

i'm bored so i did online quizzz..hahax and apparently only 2% of the people who did the quiz got this dress..looks like sth i'll wear though as compared to the rest. hahax..sldnt post all the rest of the quizz up though..hahax


Elegant dress.


HOW WOULD YOUR PROM DRESS LOOK LIKE? -11 different outcomes-
brought to you by Quizilla


Eyes of Innocence - Your soul posesses Eyes of
Innocence. These eyes are often held by young
children and those who have a tendency to look
at the world sunny side up. You are a rather
serious person, though are capable of having
fun. You are most likely highly religious and
take pride in refusing to join the rest of the
world in what you percieve to be evil deeds.
You have a tendency to ignore that which is
dark in the world and only focus upon that
which is beautiful and good. Though most would
consider this a good philosophy to live by,
someday it will get you into trouble. You
believe in giving everyone a hundred chances
over and trust very easily. You've been taken
advantage of by those who love to prey on the
kind of heart, like yourself, but you have not
let it get you down just yet. You know some
people are bad, but you like to believe that no
soul is completely black, and you believe in
befriending even the most undesirable people.


What Type of Eyes Does Your Soul Have? (girls)(pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

i told you that i was bored! :p i am blogging in sentences because someone said that my blog posts are difficult to read. Cant remember what i want to blog about, but i bought a straw bag today for only $5 *coolness* though there are many other people who are already carrying it.

Service at the Expo is simply fantastic, i enjoyed longer praise and worship and the Word shared by Pastor was great. Research has shown that not only does the brain store and records information but so does the heart. Is this cool or what? and when our fears are lifted up, we can release our talents, gifts and abilities that God has given to us to do great things for Him.
I think that many times i allow fear to creep in unknowingly, i think many of us does that. We did that when we confess the negative, we have no confidence in the people around us and we have no confidence in God. But when we are fully convinced that God is always there for us, His perfect love will cast out all fears that we have. I know that for that to happen it is not going to happen but i'm going to take a step at a time and i know that You will carry me through. I call out to you not only as my Saviour but also as Lord and Abba, Daddy and Father.

**

submit my thought life to God to bring it in line with what He wants me to be.

**

Here's sth that i thought is really nice : The end of myself is the beginning of God.
(*wink* i stole it and i am going to give credit to someone dear..haha). Bu thow true is that, when i read it, i was like "woah". it is only when we die to ourselves, that the Spirit of God can do His works in our lives. That is the time that we stop to struggle to get things done our way, and listen to what He has got to say and want! :)

**

hey dearie, cant say that i understand what you are going through totally. But just wanna say that i love you and no matter what you may be going through i know that you will get through it! *dont i always know it?? haha* Cant wait to see you. Love you lots *huggies*

(this was edited cos some uncle found it too mushy for his eyes, even though it was not intended for him! :p)

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.7
Mind:	6.2
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	8.3
Friends/Family:	3.8
Love:	3.1
Finance:	5.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

You won't admit you love me.
And so how am I ever to know?
You only tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
A million times I ask you,
And then I ask you over again.
You only answer
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If you can't make your mind up,
We'll never get started.
And I don't wanna wind up
Being parted, broken-hearted.
So if you really love me,
Say yes.
But if you don't, dear, confess.
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

If you can't make your mind up,
We'll never get started.
And I don't wanna wind up
Being parted, broken-hearted.
So if you really love me,
Say yes.
But if you don't, dear, confess.
And please don't tell me
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps,
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

::perhaps (x3):: cake::

alright..dont really know the reason why i thought of this song..but many times the things that are running thru our mind are perhaps this and perhaps that..human being likes to dream..think of the different possibilities and until we decide to put our fear aside and let our faith takes control..we will be back at ground zero..square one..where we remain where we are when the rest have happily moved on..and many times we like to assume things and then end up with alot of misunderstanding of the people and things around us..actually it doesnt really take alot to dispute the doubts..jus ask..but most of the times we like to go "perhaps, perhaps, perhaps"..
i feel so sleepy and i am going for sunday service later..i shall go slp first..blog again tml la...

**
da da, i love you.
carry me in Your arms i pray.
*hugx* right..i cant sleep..so i took time to create a new blog skin..since we are in the season of new beginnings..a new yahoo group and hence a new blog skin as well..i was abit sick of the dull, gloomy outlook so i changed it to a more cheerful one cos its is no longer black but a white base backgroud..not too bad i think..hahah

joy and i were so bored that we started looking at names yesterday but it was fun though and i got her to help me think of a baptism name (no dont know when i'll get baptised but its never too early to prepare for it..) and we came up with the name Adalia (which means God is my refuge, noble) haha..not bad right?? but nothing is final lar..at least it was much better than LILY- which joy insisted that i sld call myself that..sigh..what poor taste you all (tis is with all due respect to those whose name is lily ok?? no offense..but its not so much of a personal liking..haha)..actually there was another name which is Diella..which means worshipper of God..which is pronounced as Di-ella..but we are living in Singapore you see..so that name Diella will end up becoming Die la..to those people who cant get the right pronounciation..so why risk it?? haha..but it was fun..though i never figured out why people name their rat- angel and their snake- jessica..haha..interesting...

that day Daniel told me sth that i never realised -- year 2006 is a year of new beginning..not only cos we know that a new year is a new beginning la..but also cos 2+0+0+6=8..and 8 is a number of new beginnings..cool right?? pastor must be pleased that we are putting what we have learnt in bible study into good use...haha..but i really enjoyed The Tabernacle alot and we have also learnt alot during the 4 weeks of Bible study..thank GOd for great pastors like those we have here! :)

countdown to christmas..2 weeks..cool..but on the down side not too cool cos erm..i am quite broke(alright i think very is a better word here)cos last month exams didnt work so i am now suffering the consequences..so people if you know any lobang to work then get pay on the spot one..call me!!! my tuition girl went mission trip in thailand and she'll be busy with christmas prep when she is back..so no tuition for this month-->no income..i need my miracle..pray for me ok?? hee...

**

it is a time where i need to rise up to another level..i dont know if i am ready but i know that i gotta prepare myself..be ready in season and out of season..cos i never know when would be the right time..and i know that no matter what it is..its never by my own strength but Yours..guide me in every step that i take and in all my ways direct my path..no longer i but You who live in me..teach me the things that only You knew..put in me a new heart and let me live a new life as this new chapter in my life begins...

**

suddenly reminded of this nus pos cheer (and i am glad that we are meeting on monday to go to sentosa!! cool!! )

We will go into the marketplace
convert it, do it the Jesus' way
entertainment, showbiz and the Arts
crossover, use it, lift Jesus' up

Education, media all the businesses
step in, convert it, that's our mission
Rise up as a generation
make diciples of all the nations!!!

alright, i forgot the thing for a moment..and there is a bit of cheap thrill but i think that's the call upon all of our lives..to live a life that will live behind a legacy like what we always say in chinese qing1 chun1 bu1 yao1 liu2 bai2..hahah..

alright..gotta go sleep liaox lar..if not tml(rather..later) go tree top climb with glenda and yun..i'll look like a zombie climbing and invading bukit timah..haha..God bless... THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

6 "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
7 "You shall have no other gods before Me.
8 "You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;
9 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,
10 but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.
11 "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
12 "Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you.
13 Six days you shall labor and do all your work,
14 but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your ox, nor your donkey, nor any of your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates, that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.
15 And remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there by a mighty hand and by an outstretched arm; therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.
16 "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
17 "You shall not murder.
18 "You shall not commit adultery.
19 "You shall not steal.
20 "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
21 "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife; and you shall not desire your neighbor's house, his field, his male servant, his female servant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.'
22 "These words the LORD spoke to all your assembly, in the mountain from the midst of the fire, the cloud, and the thick darkness, with a loud voice; and He added no more. And He wrote them on two tablets of stone and gave them to me.

***

i feel very strongly about this at this point in time..because i feel that there are certain things that gotta be addressed lar..esp the first commandment where God says that you shall have no other gods before him..i remember that pst phil say that worship is not worship when God is first..God is God when He is only..if there is any other things that you worship, let alone anyONE for that matter..its not a matter of which church you attend becos its still the same God that we worship but its who you are worshipping...sigh..i cant exactly say what i wanna say cos i dont really wanna point out the names..sigh..i am disappointed with you guys..that you guys sld do things like this..though i had expected it...hmmm...

dont feel like blogging about it le..
but loving God is a choice...its up to you the way you wanna take..but i'll pray that you'll make the right decision... alright...over the weekend..what happened??

sat--> its the last weekend service over at the jurong building..i think that the hawkers are going to miss us alot..at least the taxi drivers can still move with us to expo..and somemore expo further they can earn more money la..wahaha..and we took lots of photos..actually cld have taken much more if we havent left early cos intended to send tabby and naomi off..but we couldnt get a cab then we (amanda, joyy, vann, zhiguo and i) ended up not going..so we went to somerset the hawker place to eat..hahah..anyway JOYY!!! we forgot to take photos at the playground lar...aiyohx...sianx..haha..and then joyy, amanda and i went to play arcade games..before we headed home..haha..seems like i am forgetting a very important part of the evening..*hmm* okok...we finally know the new shuffling for the new 3 groups already..so there is a new e175, n245 and e386...so our cell group is no longer together as n245 liaox..but hor..we have decided that we are still celebrating out birthday together next year..well..we are starting with zhiguo's birthday the coming week...hehe..and next year the first birthday is james..then mine!!! cool-ness..but fookai and lester will be in NS liaox..so we can only celebrate over weekends..but can lar..better than nothing..haha..why wanna celebrate together?? cos vann and fookai complain that they cannot celebrate birthday together now tat we are in different cell groups..haha..but i am sad la..cos my cell change to SUN..sadness..but well..get used to it liwei!!! haha..

alright a series of changes..a new beginning..so its time to move on..stop holding on to the past but get out off that chair..and start walking...alright lar..i think you wld want what's on my mind..as much as i wish that things are still the same..God has allowed these to happen for a reason..so let's embrace the change and move on with our lives..GOd is always with us...and we are all still friends and we are all still serving the same God..let's move on and grow from here..i believe that God will bring us to the next level...God will give us the increase...and God is always the one who will always be with us...

and i went shopping yesterday..and i bought a pair of jeans, pair of skirt and a belt..and all for $50..and after a whole day of walking..my feet are hurting from a whole day of walking and i conclude that i am getting old already..cannot do shopping anymore..but there are still much shopping to do...cos there are still alot of things to buy..hahah...

i think that i need to start to make sth for christmas liaox..sorry people...last month never work so now gotta suffer the consequences of having no money..haha.. I'm not suposed to be scared of anything
but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but
I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to
and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this under control
They cant help me
'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feel like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control
They cant help me
'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

:: Changes :: three doors down ::

***

i happened to hear a song of the similar title on the cd that my dad was listening to and was jus thinking about the song..haha..changes arhx well changes...they are inevitable and part and parcel of life man..

***
walking against the rain..wind blwing straight into my face..thinkin of this essay that i once written and it was published in the primary school yearly publication (my one and only ever published ENGLISH piece anyway)seems like there is sth to be learnt..seems like the wind is telling me that tml marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life. how am i going to deal with it?? i dont know..i just dont trust myself with anything now..so everything is going to be lifted up into His hands..whatever changes that there are its going to be what He has wanted for me and how i am going to deal with it..its not of my own but its of Him..cos i just dont trust myself anymore..

***
walking alone in the rain..sitting there in the crowd yet i am not in the crowd..kept out of all the conversations and the buzz that are going on around..seems like i am living in my own bubble..but a bubble is a bubble..it would last forever..when it burst..i have to learn to deal with the reality that i have been trying to avoid..why am i behaving this way???

in the old testament..lot's wife was turn into a pillar of salt becos she looked back when she was told not to..that was sth that i kept thinking about..i know that it is time to move on..in all aspects..cant get stuck in the past or the good old days..(where you know that only the final exams count..now everythin counts..cant live in the good old days where all you know is the your dad probably is a money printing machine) cos people grow and people have to adapt..there is nothing wrong with reminiscing the past but there is th wrong when you are stuck in it..dont be like lot's wife...God will come to destroy the cities and stronghold in our lives..and when that happen..dont hold on to it..lest we be left behind as the whirlwind of God and the time of visitation passes us by...

28 Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; 29 but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed.
31 "In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back. 32 Remember Lot's wife. 33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.


***

trying to lose yourself in the drinking, loud music and smoke?? i rather take a coffee anytime...

*** Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
you were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star

:: Goodbye to you :: michelle Branch ::

you know sth?? change is the only constant in life..in the past month..i had gone through so many changes that i became immuned to changes already..decided that i sld not let myself get accustomed to any aspect of the change until it has been finalised..i know that i have to learn to be flexible and adapt to changes..that's why i gotta learn how to not be affected and emotionally attached to anything that is temporary..yapx...seems like a hardened way of do9ing things..but its better than dealing with it over and over again...hmmm..oh well...

why that song?? cos tabby and naomi is leaving for NZ and thats the song that was prepared for their farewell..and it thought that it is quite a nice song..yaps..

and jus thinking about how i need to let go of the many things that i am holding on to..cos i thought that i had let them go but i am still actually holding on to them..so it is not doing me any good in any way..*hmm* it sth that is subconciously in you that you dont even realise it..sth tat has become apart of you tat you thought that you have let it go yet..when you bumped into different people or situations..you realised that you are just trying to deceive yourself into believin tat you have dealt with it..when in actual fact you have not...sigh..i think that i am confusing myself even...i shall stop...yapx...

gotta pick up my reading..like perez say..if i dont do it now..it will never happen..so i shall make it happen...hahax...there are so many things to do for the short holiday that we are having..gotta plan well..cos gotta squeeze in tuition and work as well..missing one month of work is no joke to the reduction in my income man..not to forget that christmas is coming and bestie is coming back..hahaz..its gonna be exciting..plus we are moving to EXPO...coolness...hahax...

***

she wants to take a walk in the rain and allow it to wash it all away..but memories has with it happy and beautiful times that she doesnt want to let go of..becos those are the only things that she has left of the people and times..and they are the motivations that keep her going on..but she realised that she need more than all that..she needs YOU more..only YOU can bring her to where YOU have called her to be..when she doesnt see YOUR hands..when she is blind to YOUR actions..dont ever leave her..carry her on YOUR wings of love...

***
OLDER | NEWER