But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
~isaiah 40:31

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise
And thunders roar
I will soar with You
Above the storms
Father, You are king over the flood
I will be still
And know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

:: Still :: Hillsongs ::

***

i read the chronicles of narnia book one (out of the seven books). at first i thought that it was quite dry(maybe cos i was reading it on the bus and i got abit giddy..hahahx..but i finished up the rest of book 1 yesterday or rather this morning. and i thought that it was really good. no wonder c.s. lewis was crowned one of the best authors and not to forget deemed one of the best christians in the world.

it talked about the formation of the new world where we lived in today. basically it ia talking about the story of genesis where the world was void and without form. but God is Elohim God, in His mind He framed the world and with His worlds the world and all that is within it came to life. there were a few people who witness the whole process. the witch, Digory, polly, uncle andrew, strawberry the horse and the cabby. all of them were able to hear the animals speak, all except uncle andrew. why?? the lion (God) explained that it becos uncle andrew has chose not to be able to hear it. and after he has hardened his heart not to, even though the animals could speak, he cant hear them as words, instead, they are nothing more than animals sound in his view.

isnt it the same for us all?? we are all created to be able to hear the voice of God after all we are created in His likeness. however, we chose to harden our hearts that we block out the words of God and eventually over time, they are no longer voices but just plain noise like that in the world. isnt that real sad? i thought so. i guess i wanna be more open for the voice to be audible in my life.

and there was a illustration of taking th fruit from the garden of eden but it was so much about it but the issue that was illustrated with it. i dont really know how to express it. see, the witch also ate from the tree and as the nature of the fruits were, she'll still get what it was promised -- eternal life and youth. however, becos of the corrupted heart of the queen, the end results are different. so let's say we put our heart to achieve sth, we will still get what we had intended to do becos with the desire, we have to ability to accomplish that. but the intentions will determine the accompanying results and consequences. *hmmm* i think that i am not making too much sense myself...

anyway..try to read the books..they offer more details than the show..hahahx...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR...
spent the first day sleeping..so i think there are more to be done today..hahax.. oh no, i am tagged!! :)

Below Are The Rules:

Rule 1: 5 weird or random things about myself.

1. WHy am i doing this?? cause daddy say that chinatown is too crowded, so after like i dunno how many years, my wish of not going to chinatown on cny's eve has finally come to past man. but now i am feeling like real bored staying at home la..maybe i sld really go and pack my room la..lolx...

2. I am suffering from a whole body ache due to the great workout at sa yesterday. it must be due to the too-long-never-workout..but nothing that i regret cos i am feeling real fat..arrgh..

3. Why am i feeling real fat?? cos i went shopping this afternoon and i realised to my horror that i had "grown" quite abit over the time that i had not work out since i graduate from sa bball..and that thought really frighten me, so i deceided that i really gotta get around to woring out..anyone wanna join me?? sigh..mega sigh..

4. err...happy birthday meisiang!!! haha..how does it feel to have your birthday on the first day of chinese new year? i'll never have that chance..cos my birthday is way too off lar..though i'll have the chance to have my birtday fall on good friday though...hahah..oh well...

5. hmmm..i simply love romance movies with happy endings?? i just watched this show on the tv that has a happy ending..haha..i'm so totally bored lar..but i guess that this beats being at chinatown squwwzing with all the people..oh well..i dunno man..hahah...

Rule 2: 5 People whom I would like to see do this quiz.
1. faith!!
2. winnie
3. yaya
4. huiping
5. stace

Rule 3: Next, leave a comment "You are tagged!" on their blog, and ask them to read your blog for rules. woah..went back to sa to play bball..i think went back is wrong..cos we went to the new site at sav to play the match. the first sight that greeted us was the "fish-scale" walls and apprently that "decorated" the whole school esp the walls behind the gallery. according to winnie, the scales is created cos that was present in sajs and sas..so there has gotta be something in common la..but wad a duh! thing if you ask me. i would say that the school is MUCH bigger than the previous compound which i remembered clarence saying that we can finish walking the whole malan road compound in 10 mins..haha..BUT we had all air-conditioned classrooms in the past..now there isnt..i think they might need to raise funds for that again..

playing bball is such a good feeling, though my next to nothing skills has evolved into total zero and i feel so totally lan up there in the court but the sweating is simply great man..i miss all those trainings and all the 2.4km run during pe lessons with mr chey last time..haha..i think that i am a sadist, but anyone interested in playing CAUSAL bball can look for me..i dont think that i can play competitive lar..anyway i couldnt find my bball shoes and my guess is right..my dad wore it out..since he like it so much i sld jus go get a new pair..but the adidas new series is not out yet and i dont exactly fancy nike bball shoes..but i came across this sliipers that i like on the adidas site..hahah

anyway back to the shoes..i had to endure the blisters cos i wasnt wearing bball shoes..arrgh..what a torture..but i think that i must get back to working out more man..esp after all the goodies after cny..hahah..geok and i went to the toilets behind the gallery to bath and i wonder what lousy motion sensor they use..we were halfway through that the lights went off and we had to go out to "motion" and go back to bathing..not funny la..i thought like the sensor should be cleverer to know that the people havent left the toilet you know?? haha..oh well..and apprantly they started sajc canoeing..which i thought was a sad idea..are they going to row up and down the kallang river?? *hmmm* maybe mrs goh can be the teacher in charged..lolx...

as we were leaving the school, the side gate is closed and the uncle "advised" us not to try to climb over as there are cameras supervising the side gate..and we had to walk one BIG round and i am not kidding about the magnitude of the bigness of the round and then we pass by the side gate after we go out as there is only one way back to the main road..as you can guess..we're all tired and wore out..and that walk is BAD..to think that we used to complain about THAT slope when leaving the school..haha..but it was fun today..to think for a moment i was wondering why i am so tired today..i want more workout..hehehe...

i seldom blog about my daily doings but i thought that today is quite fun..and i was surfing the sajc website..and i found alot of sa bballers (girls) photo that i dint know existed..people..ask me to show you..they are "old" and ugly man..think about how we look 3 years ago..ooohhhhh..

***
i have decided that mugging starts AFTER the cny..hahah..i guess i wasnt really feeling the stress cos ALL my tutorials are on EVEN weeks..which make my even weeks real busy..man..and i got this feeling that biz mods are going to be loaded with tons of assignments...maybe on second thoughts i sld start abit over the cny...haha..i finally got this organiser from my tuition kid..its this year "know drugs" freebie BUT it looks really good and its FREE so i took it cos he has no use of it..i bought him m&m ok?? haha..but i like the organiser alot..so its ok la...hahah..gonna do clean up tml!!!

***

let's play bball soon...*bounce bounce*

let's go sajc to eat lunch one day..

let's go watch memoirs of a geisha...

let's have tuition next week girls...

let's have a good sleep tonight...

***

when i'm missing you...
i miss sa!! cant believe that!! our head spin so fast that even though i take time off to spend time with you that my thoughts are occupied with a thousand other things. sometimes i say that i'll pray in the morning cos that is when i am more awake, i never gotten around to doing that becasue once again i have to rush through the routine of life. where there are hundred and one things that i deem as more urgent than spedning time with you.

yet, everytime that i cry out before you and i talk to you when everything goes wrong, you never fail to comfort me and assure me that things are all within your control. i wonder how i would feel if i were you, always being nelgected by most of your children.

there is a need to slow down and reflect upon the things that are important in life. becos even jesus our brother spent time with you though he was busy doing the work that you have given to him. we sometimes seek after the blessing and not the blessor when that is the single most important thing that we should do.

its no wonder that we often feel tired and drained out, becos we did not recharge ourselves in the spirit. i have this thought, i think that if we were able to talk to you over the net, i think we would get more talking done. but it does not work this way. you know all that we are going through and you know how we're feeling. the only thing that we lack is that we lack hearing for ourselves what you have to say in all the situation.

You said:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." i jus realised that i havent been blogging. recently i am into reality shows, alright i only watch apprentice and the swan. lolx. after putting much thought into it, i thought that rebecca(i think thats her name la..i cant remember) has her reason for not bringing the obviously going to be fired girl=toral into the room and instead bring the other girl..cos if she bring toral in there is the possiblity that she herself will get fired the following week instead she get to stay for two more weeks due to her decision..well, what a well thought out solution..i jus checked out the apprentice website and since we are rather lagging behind, i found out that randal is hired which is no surprised and glad that he made it so far cos during the first week, his grandmother passed away..go man! but then again..i guess that in this dog eat dog society..its difficult to tell who is really being real and sincere and i guess that you never know, thats why people wld tend to be cautious and careful when they deal with people..sigh.

and i was watching the swan jus now..*hmm* i think that it is actually quite gross la--> all those stuff that they have to go through to look the way that they do at the end of it. surely no pain, no gain..but i guess that you still have to deal with the "after that" cos people know that you went under the knief to look like that, are people going to comment?? i think if it is in singapore people might be..i am not so sure for US though. but most importantly i guess that one of the area that people gotta deal with is their self-esteem. no matter how hard you try to tell someone who has been laughed at all their life that they are beautiful is useless until they really are and is convinced that they are. thats sad right? but thats the society that we are living in where lives are exposed to the merciless comments that other people make about them and live the next half of their life trying to overcome the tumour and image. sigh.

just realised tat my timetable is going to kill me cos all of my tutorials are on even weeks and i think that is going to be so tiring so i guess that the cny doesnt really give room for rest..and the people around are all mugging (can you believe that??) while i am here trying to get myself out of this pit to fall straight into that one of my studies..*hmmm* maybe i shld get more organised and learn also to put things away from my mind. Oh God!! well..at least i think that MNO tutor and group mates are nice people and there's a anderson senior in the same tutorial too..haha..and the other liwei who was in the same nm1101 tut last sem is also in the mno tut..talk about coincidence..but genes is totally killing and boring me. and mno seem to be getting worse or issit cos its too late in the day?? hahahx...

going to the new sajc tml...woah...

***
sitting in this dark room
i wish that i dont have to face all these
all these that has been put in my life
i know that its jus for a season
and i know that i can overcome it
but for now
i dont know how and what to do
but i do know that:

all things work out for good for those who love You
you will help me through wouldnt You??

*** i grew up reading alot of book and could be probably classified as a nerd who visited the library reguarly. caught up in the world of make-believe and picturing each scene as i read through the words that the author pain-stakingly pen down and the publisher turn it into a book. i never read fantasies stories because somehow you know that they are less realistic than those romance and typical teenage novels, but i was wrong cos the truth couldnt be further from that. cos they are all make-believe. at the same time i enjoyed reading about the facts of this world: animal world, find out more..what have you and i thought that i knew alot of things. i was wrong again. many of the things you not learn them till you go through them and you learn them the hard way(which might not be so bad actually..there are moments of joy and fulfillment) we learn that as we grow up, what you learn previously are all simplified for the sake of the examinations (for example, the JC teachers will tell you to forget all the the secondary teachers had taught you and the university lectures will tell you that your JC teachers arent teaching you what you need to know, you are jus scrapping at the bottom..what irony!)

life has taught me alot of things that the books hasnt been able to and i am beginning to wonder the points of books. and yet if we are ignorant of procuring knowledge we are a fool cos it'll jus make our lives worse than with books cos we dont even have the knowledge or skills that we learnt from them. i realised today as i visited the times bookstore that i havent set my hands on a book for a long time. that rob me of opportunities to escape into the storyscape of the characters that are being protrayed and brought to life under the magic of the author. funny how business can rob you of time for yourself and all that we do is to rush from place to place from task to task. take some time off, spend time knowing yourself better and spend time to seek after someone of eternal value.

find a book and curl up in a cosy seat somewhere, leave behind the hectic world and allow yourself to be caught up in the world of the fictatious. then again, you might want to read sth that is more constructive, instead of jus those romance stories where you know that there will be a they-lived-happily-ever-after ending. since you are taking the time off, read sth that will bless your life and impact you in a special. on that onte, i think that anne rice's latest book --> Christ the Lord is worth our investment. as i was at times bookstore, i read the first chapter, though it was simple but yet it captures your heart. (i dont get anything out of the promotion of the book but jus thought that anything good sld be shared..hahax)

pictures are snapshots of stories frozen in time.
take a good look at the pictures around you. what do they say?
then capture snapshots of your surroundings and keep it inside your heart, you might not realise the worth of all these things that you have around you all this while. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.



i guess there are many times that we go through times in our lives that we jus feel so dead and there are times that we know that we sld be jus dont turn to God. not trying to deal with things my own way but too ashamed and felt that i could have reacted to it in a better way, a more jesus way. but its amazing how God can forgive us and allow us the room to change over time. there will always be difficult people around and most of the time i deal with them the way that i dont want them to deal with me being diffcult becos i think that they are difficult. but of cos there are people who are jus plain diffcult..haha.. but the whole point is that God allow them into my life for a reason i guess and there are lessons that i ought to learn from all the people around me.

though i am weak, Your strength sustained me through all these while and i know that You will continue to do it not only for me but for all the people around me whom You love so that you sent Your only begotten Son to die for them.

my favourite story(i may have many favourite songs but this is one of the ultimate favourite story-- jesus dying for us does not count as a story cos that is a fact..so this makes the top of the favourites..lolx..)

***

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Scenes from his life flashed across the sky
and he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.


When the last scene of his life had flashed before him,
he recalled that at the lowest and saddest times of his life
there was only one set of footprints.

Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
I don't understand why, when I needed you most,
you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious child.
I love you and I would never leave you.


During your times of trial and suffering
when you saw only one set of footprints...

That was when I carried you."

***

you carried me through the difficult times of my life. yet, i foolishly thought that you had left me to go through it alone, all by myself.

♣

Friday, January 20, 2006 // 0 comments

no offense kat..18 jan is my primary school best friend birthday too..haha..its jus the day lar..not the occasion...*hahax*

you know sth?? i feel like such a failure and i jus wanna dig a hole and hide myself inside and never to return to the face of humanity..i want to look for a cave and hide there and be isolated from this commmunity.
sometimes i feel that i may not be as important to you as you are to me, but everything is ok after all the reassurances. i am not and i dont want to appear needy so i know the things to do and the words to say. and then there is another you. being with you make me feel so small that i jus wanna disappear from the face of the earth. i am always the one in the wrong and i reached a point that i feel that i am always in the wrong. i am the ugly one with all the flaws and bad attitude and you pretty much get away with everythin. no one will ever think that you are in the wrong and its always my fault. maybe it is. i guess its jus me. i am jus this big fat zero in life that i trying to be somebody.


am i jus someone who is a nothing and remain as a nothing? i know i have my flaws, i know that i am not perfect but i dont need your constant rubbing the salt in my wounds to make me feel worse than i already am. if you are actually trying to help, maybe there is another way of showing it because i am downright ashamed of myself now and i am feeling totally lousy.sigh. its time to take a walk alone, down that long winding road.

♣

Thursday, January 19, 2006 // 0 comments

the 18th jan is the epitome of a day gone wrong..i mean all the things that could haf gone wrong all went wrong and it went real wrong. i guess it all started when i was on my way to town to meet fan di and that dint worked out cos she lost her way and the rain jus keep pouring down, as though there was some unknown forces stopping me from meeting her. so i had to get an umbrella and suffer the consequence of carrying it with me throughout the rest of the day. next, the draining in town is horrendous that my shoes got totally soaked that i went to robinson and got a pair of heels to change that will contirbute to my new year clothes pile. however, that dint turn out too well as i walked around cos i get blisters. arrgh.

after the dinner at prerouge and after waiting for yaya to end work..we headed to mr. bean for a drink and guess what?? i dropped my pouch with my TWO phones in it and my mastercard..not too smart a choice. it was after like 15 mins that i realised that i dropped it, as much as i managed to get it back. i realised that it had been ran over by a car and my newly purchased sgh-x200 which i meant to give to my dad is totally crashed with the screen shattered into a thousand pieces and i dont know if they will replace it for free not. my nokia escaped with some minor scratches that devastated me cos the cover is that WHITE cover that i jus got. sigh. a miraculous was though my hands-free went through heat and pressure (literally.) it is still alive. that time i put it into the washing machine and mine uses hot water and now it went under the wheels of the car and under much pressure, it escaped and jus as i was about to throw it away, i tested it out and it still worked..what a miracle.

i guess i sld haf jus stayed at home that all these would not have happened. arrgh. who knows though right?? not to forget the spurging this two days. i think i need to spend more wisely really.

***

never enjoyed the thoughts of people saying things behind your back. i found out about certain tings and i felt totally yucky and disappointed at how downright ugly some people can be. i might not have been the easiest person to get along with but i think i have my rights. i dont need people to go around broadcasting my life to the rest of the world. spreading things that are half-truths and making my life miserable. i guess some people derive pleasure from that. what sadistic actions.

disappointed and dismayed.
i wished that i had never witnessed the ugliness and found out the facts.
maybe i sld live in a bubble and be contented with the people who cares.

***

i am getting turned off by the prudential people..pls stop approaching me for surveys and talks and asking me to get financial plans. i know people who are there and if need be i'll look for them. i dont need people to pester me when i already told them that i have done the survey before and that i have a friend who is helping me with it already. the streets seem to be littered with all these people today and since when are they so numerous in size??

***

dint get the marketing tutorial again. i think i am jus going to show up at the tutorial and join it. its ridiculous that i dont even get 8-10 slots and 4-6 slots. what is this world coming to in biz in nus man??? sigh.

♣

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 // 0 comments

today marks the first of many things again..haha..alright la jus the first of genes lecture and marketing lecture..
the genes one is quite horrible..perhaps cos i was like having stomache and it sorta jus made the whole lesson worse than it already is. what a bad by-mouth marketing here..but i went to the washroom and there was this pair of girls complaining about how that lecturer cant teach..oh well..i cant even remember her name..so you get the idea..and the UNCLE sitting beside me is jus not really paying attention much..TILL she let us watch the dvd about the things we were doing and we all think that the dvd actually did a better job at teaching than she did..oppss..thats quite sad..hahax..
as the lecture ended early, we decided to walk over from science to biz to have lunch and you bet that the dist is far. and on the way we went to check out the second hand books and i realised that i haf to get the text for almost all my modules..and if i really do that i would need $150 if i jus take it that they are each $30 which might not be the case..that is crazy man..so super ex lar..how and where to get the money (not forgetting that i went shopping today and paid my phone bill so i am quite broke la..sigh)

marketing lecture is on the other hand more informative and interesting. well, i sort of figured out that i am more of a biz and arts student than a math or sciene student..hahah...

well, went shopping today before heading down to church but there are some necessities that i still need to get.
1. glenda's present
2. dad's present
3. notebook (the paper kind not laptop)
4. milo
5. maggi mee
6. 6610 phone cover
7. pencil case
8. ...............

i am tired..shall stop here

♣

Monday, January 16, 2006 // 0 comments

28 Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

:: psalm 40:28-31 ::

after a series of self-pity and negative post..i decided that i need to pick myself up again..pastor tan shared today that leaders are not leaders by circumstances they are leaders becos of decision. the decision that we make today is going to determine your outcome tml. though i may be weak but as i choose to seek Him first and to trust in His promises and ever- lasting love, He will increase my strength as it is mentioned in the verse. (killed and died..its time that i stand up again, back on my feet.)

feel a sore throat and a fever brewing. tiredness is morphing into sickness.

LEADERS ARE LEADERS BECAUSE OF THE DECISIONS THEY MAKE

♣

Sunday, January 15, 2006 // 0 comments

looking at the things i have done
misunderstood and hurt
tears rolling down my face
will you wipe it away for me

sitting here by my own
wondering as i look at my phone
i guess you wldnt be wiping
those tears off my cheeks

who do i look to
who do i run to
to ease this feeling that i feel
no one else will know its real

its time to move on
its time to pack up
the memories and the pieces
it no longer will add up

against the wind
i am braving the rain
learning to walk alone
letting go of what i've holding on

why am i like that today? defeated and down on my knees. i hope that tml will be a better day. for you and for me.

♣

Friday, January 13, 2006 // 0 comments

i sent my phone for repair (yes..again!!) and that poor guy who is attending to me got a piece of my mind and i think that he must have felt miserable..BUT you gotta understand how i feel..i fell more helpless and upset then angry with him and with nokia and i seriously think that nokia needs to provide a replacement handset while the phone is THERE at the repair shop..i seriously think that i am jus not fated to use phone..somehow whatever phone i am using will haf its fair share of problem and esp this phone..i totally love it and dont drop it..yet it gave me so much problem..dont like the thought that the more i repair the phone..the worse condition it gets..sigh...

rain, rain go away, come again another day (next year maybe)..
the bus 95 broke down at the central library bus stop leading to a bus jam and a human jam as we were all leaving school after the 6pm lecture..and 96 took a LONG 30mins to reach clementi which along the way both yun and i fell aslp..and then there is another long journey to town..not cos of the duration of travel but cos of the guy behind us who is on the phone and we could hear all about his life details..yapx..thats how loud and it lasted the whole journey from clementi to town and till we get off he was still on the phone..wonder how is his phone bill coping when my is exploding every month...

printing of lecture notes and tutorials marks the beginning of school and we are once again trying to fit into this cycle once again..jus topped up $10 in the cash card and now it is almost gone after a day of printing..i wonder how many trees have i killed...geok and yun is seriously comtemplating dropping eu1101e..though i thought that its fine except for the lecturer's accent and the boringness of the content..management over at biz today was on the other hand much better and interesting and totally NOT slp inducing and i am glad for that..and i am still convinced that i sld bt in biz..but i guess that God has His plans for everything and though i havent figure that out for now..hahax...

***

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

:: the reason :: hoobastank ::

i am not a perfect person and all that i need is not to become one but to be loved and accepted jus the way that i am...

♣

Thursday, January 12, 2006 // 0 comments

it is still a rainy day..and it has been 11 straight days that it has been raining and it certainly make your jeans wet man..lolx...
walking in the rain..my hair was wet anf that is not exactly a good feeling..i think that it is jus not a day for walks..esp in the rain...what an irony when you look at my blog skin...

its a start for many things yesterday...
first lecture for the year..not to forget a first sc1101e lecture at engine with a very lame lecturer...we felt that he is trying too hard..but at least he try lar..so dont complain..lolx...

first time that we go to kbox in this year and had a great time k-ing the songs..and i suddenly feel that there are alot of songs that i wanna get..lolx..people send me songs!!

first time that i ever stepped into balcony..i think that the ambience was great..and the taste of the food isnt that bad either..one thing though..i think that they need to increase in the variety of food that they offer..i think too little choices liaox..but overall it was good and they serve iced water..lolx...

first time that i played dota and guys..its not too bad an experience and i think that i might jus learn more about it and better my skills..lolx..and times flies when you are playing games..haha..(fookai..when you book out on weekends we can play dota liaox..but my skills still at beginner stage though..hahax..but at least i can say that i know how to play dota..hahah)

***

all the above need sth and that is the common denominator...that is money and the pay at r.outdoors is not out yet...i just feel that no matter what..pay can be out early but not late..i guess that is very disappointing..and even though you haf alot of things to do the staff's salary is what that is impt to them..jus as there are things impt to the company..the salary is that which is most precious to the staff..cos they laid down their lives for the pay la...i jus hope that they can be more efficient la...sigh..disappointed...

disappointed is the word man..when you use it to describe someone and the actions that he chose to take today..if i am the birthday girl..i wld be feeling so sad..i guess that if it is any other day it wld haf been better..you may think that i am making a big fuss out of nothing..but think about it..imagine that i do that to you on your birthday and imagine that someone who is one of your close fren were to do that to you..how wld you feel?? second class?? spare tire?? have your priorities set in the right places and in the right path..set your eyes on the things that have eternal value...think about it...not only about friends but also your calling in life...what is it that you haf been called to?? what are your priorities?? what matters most to the person who planned out your destiny and waiting for you to step into it?? i think you already know the answer..let your actions demostrate what you believe in..make things happen...

♣

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 // 0 comments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEIYUN!!!

♣

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 // 0 comments

Sitting by the window
Singing songs of love
Wishing you were here
Because the memory's not enough
Wear my mask in silence
Pretending I'm alright
If you could see then you would be
Here standing by my side

It may be hard to believe
But girl you're the only one I need
It may be hard along the way
It's this feeling I get
When blue skies turn to grey
Feels like I'm walking in the rain
I find myself trying to wash away the pain
Cause I need you to give me some shelter
Cause I'm fading away
And baby, I'm walking in the rain

Every single hour
Of every single day
I need to cry, my eyes are dry
I've cried my tears away
Can't help but remember
How you made me feel
You dressed my soul and made me whole
You made my life complete

Of all we've said and done
Remains the memories of days
When life was fun
But now when you are gone
I sit alone to watch the
Setting of the sun
Feels like I'm walking in the rain
I find myself trying to wash away the pain
Cause I need you to give me some shelter
Cause I'm fading away
And baby, I'm walking in the rain

I said baby, I'm walking in the rain

:: walking in the rain :: A1 ::

alright i am not exactly an A1 fan but it has been raining since the 1st of jan and it sort of make me moody like the weather..lolx..but its been so wet for the past 10 days that i cant wait for the sun to be out again..but i guess that when that really happen i wld probably be wishing that there would be some rain so that the weather will not be so hot and humid..i guess that i am difficult to please..hahah...

***

walking in the rain make me realised how much i miss those times of walking..whether with someone or jus taking a stroll by myself..along the road..against the wind..where the fast pace world jus fade into the background..where what you are focusing on is each step that you take and there is time to yourself to do some thinking and reflection of the things that are happening around you and of the things that has been bugging you..or jus spend some quality time with yourself or with the one that you are walking with..it is not a sign of depression as some people think..but i enjoy walking..and i wonder since when i had started to like walking..walking in the rain..walking against the wind..

walking without you by my side

told you i am in a moody moody sort of mood...

♣

Sunday, January 08, 2006 // 0 comments

Though I'm missing you
I'll find a way to get through
Living without you
'Cause you were my sister, my strength, and my pride
Only God may know why, still I will get by

Who would've known that you'd have to go, so suddenly so fast
How could it be that a sweet memory would be all, all that we'd have left
Now that you're gone, everyday I go on
But life's just not the same
I'm so empty inside, and my tears I can't hide
So I'll try, I'll try to face the pain

Oh, there were so many things that we could have said,
If time were on our side
Now that you're gone I can still feel you near,
So I'll smile with every tear I cry...
Though I'm missing you...

'Cause we were the closest of friends,
But I wait for the day when
I'll see you again...see you again

I'm missing, missing, missing, missing, missing, missing, missing
I'm missing you

:: missing you :: brandy ::

sounds like you died..so here's another one:

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
it get hard but it won't take away my love

:: here without you :: three doors down ::

*hmm the lyrics are not that right either..but the bottomline is "i'll be missing you when i'm here without you!" love you lots and time will pass by so quickly!! take care and love lots *hugx*

*this post is for you! bestest pal! *wink*

♣

Thursday, January 05, 2006 // 0 comments

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback--warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories
Time after

Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said
Then you say--go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows--you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time--

You said go slow--
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds--

Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time

:: time after time :: eva cassidy ::

time after time..what would i do?? time after time??

***

well..this round of bidding ends for me at round 2B after the failure of getting my ss, i ended up doing the following modules:

Genes and society ( sci gem)
Marketing 1003 (biz minor)
Management and organisation (biz minor)
Making sense of society (soci mod)
Making of contemporary Europe (Arts fac mod)

so i wldnt be in arts for much..lolx..have not decided on my major so i am not doing any of my major mod yet..yun is doing german..too bad i dint have any spare credits already, if not i wld love to take it together with her, i still wanna go to germany someday..(anyway bestest fren..i guess our plans of going to germany in 2006 sorta went down the drain huh?? i doubt that it will still materialises..haha)

alright..there is nothing exciting today..the weather seems to be enjoying playing with us human..it rained and shine and rain and shine for a countless times today till we got fed-up with moving the stuff in and out of the shelters during work..anyway after work went for dinner at pasta mania cos i have craving for pasta after working..haha..den we went our separate ways..and the highlight of the day took place.

i decided to walk home from the main road instead of waiting for 139 cos of the heavy dinner..so i had to cross this zebra crossing..and the cars seems to have ignored my existence and i waited till this car stopped to allow me to cross..and when he stopped..the car behind got a shock and had to stop as well..but it was too close behind for comfort and cos it was raining that the car skidded and bang into the one in front..so there i am..i caused an accident jus merely cos i wanna cross the road..lolx..i did feel bad la..but well..i was so scared that i ran away and let them go settle for themselves..i hope that they will settle it peacefully..*hmm*

***
rain..rain..listen to what the rain has got to say to you..wash away all that you wanna let go of..what are you holding on to today?? maybe the rain can do a better job of washing it away than you are letting go of..and if that is possible, maybe that is sth that we need to learn to do. let the rain of time washes all that we are holding on to away that we can be more set free..to soar and fly above the storms and the pain that we are clinging on to...
let go...

was reading ping's blog and talking to meow today and realised how quickly time passed..before we know it, we'll join the many working class people in a desk bound job that requires us to wake up early in the morning and we are to live under the mercy of our bosses...that will not materilise for some though..now we are at this interim stage where we are not here nor there...it used to be that we are full-time student 730am to 8pm (when there are trainings) and the remaining much were spent sleeping esp during competition periods cos we are jus so tired..but life was simplier then cos you jus study and do your sport..

now..we are part-time student, school revolve around my life and not the other way round..we choose when and which lect we want and the tutorials that we want, so lucky ones get a 3 day week..what about the rest of the time?? moonlighting somewhere..waitressing, giving tuition, events what have you?? we spend half a year in school and the other half having vacation and we pay so much school fees..tell me the logic behind it..

in life, many haf to deal with the ordeal of breakups after breakups..why get yourself involved in the first place? we face with people leaving for different places and to persue different dreams..some may still be around..you learn that loving doesnt mean possessing but learning to let go yet knowing that it is in God's hands. pastor taught us about not looking back..doesnt mean that there is nothing good about the past but God is always moving forward and i realised that i had spent too much time reminiscing the past and miss out on what He has in store for us..i wrap up everythin in the blanket of prayers cos i know that He will take care of it, i know that He will take care of what is precious to me..my love ones, my family my everything cos i know that even more than He's everything to me..His love tells me that i am everything to Him as well..

"friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them
and a friend will not say never cos the welcome never end.
though its hard to let you go,
in the Father's hands we know,
that a lifetime's not too long to stay as friends."

what more we got the whole eternity..lolx :)

***

i might never see your tears, i may never feel the pain that you go through. but i see it in your eyes and i feel it in your voice. i hear it in your voice and i sense it in my spirit and soul. i may not be able to do anything to make you feel better- i know that nothing that i do can do that, but i can offer a hug, a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. but i know that you wldnt wanna say anything, so i know that the best thing that i can do is jus to let you know that i am here and you always know where to look for me and i throw in a million hugs and a million whispered prayers to cover you through the distance. love you. *hugx*

why are you carrying it silently upon your shoulders and in your heart?

***

♣

Tuesday, January 03, 2006 // 0 comments

it has been raining since the beginning of this year. it rained throughout the whole 2 days..what does it signify about the new year?? as the new year begins, i guess everyone cant help but did a little reflection about the the that passed and also a little soul searching. on top of that, many of us begin to draw up great plans for the year ahead. the beginning of a new year marks the beginning of a new chapter in our life, though we can always do that on any other day but we all choose to do it on this day. perhaps God has His plans for this attangement, that every 365 days, we can put aside all the unhappiness, all the hurts and all the past year and begin a new journey with a new attitude, new visions and greater dreams.

the rain...
it...
washed away all that the past year was for many of us.
this year..many want to do sth more, sth greater and live it better...
it washed away all that we felt and give us a shower of that which we did in the past year.
tha rain...
it made me ponder...

***

new shoes, new bag, new books and new friends...
thats how we used to start our year as we return to school after the december vacation..since last year..i had left that group of people, meeting new people and making new friends no longer conform to the new year but it became sth that takes place everyday..but i do miss that kind of child-like approach to life, it was much simpler then...

***

Have you ever watched kids on a merry go round
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
or gazed at the sun into the fading night
You better slow down, don't dance so fast
time is short the music won't last

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "how are you?" do you hear the reply
When the day is done do you lie in your bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head
You better slow down, dont dance so fast
Time is short and the music wont last.

Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow
and in your haste, not seen their sorrow
ever lost touch, let a good friendship die
cause you never had time to call and say "hi"
You'd better slow down, dont dance so fast
Time is short and the music wont last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there
When you worry and hurry through your day
its like an unopened gift, thrown away.

Life is not a race, do take it slower, hear the music before its over.

***

shi shi jian wei fang jian da shao yi fan le, ye shi shi jian wei wo de xin zhuo yi ge xin qing lu xing. hui xiang guo qu de yi nian, hao xiang hu ran jian jue de shi hu fa shen le heng duo shi qing. dan ye jiu zhe yang zhou guo lai le. xian zai ni guo de hao ma? shi shi jian ju xu wo yao zhou de lu le. zai wo men de sheng pang mei yi fen mei yi miao du you zhe bu tong de guo ke, dan shi zong you xie ren hui zai ni de hui yi li liu xia mei hao de ji yi. huo xu yi qie yi jing gai bian dan shi hai hui you ge dou de shi deng zhe wo men qu ying jie ba.

***

♣

Monday, January 02, 2006 // 0 comments

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006!!!
woah..i dint even feel like its a new year already..i guess that time really flies huh?? especially now that you are older..lolx..say until i like very old like that..
we stuck to the tradition (since when right?? since last year lar..) we went to countdown and after that headed down to cine to catch a movie..this time round no boring chinese show but family stone is a movie with depth la..so need time to digest..hahax..but i thought that it is okok lor..but there are certain things that it taught and reminded me but i am abit dozzing off..so shall only blog about it tml bah...hahaha...

for now: whoever wanna contribute to liwei'd birthday let's get her a digital camera fund..pls look for joy or amanda bay or samantha or lester..hahah..yapx they have decided to get me a digital camera..but more funds are needed..hahah..i hope that this might materialises though..why digital cam?? cos mp3 player cheaper..easier to buy it myself..lolx...

OLDER | NEWER