I finally got back my phone from the "beloved" nokia care, my darling phone has been in there for exactly 2 whole weeks - that is too long a time taken to repair a phone. As i was waiting to collect my phone, there was this couple at counter 14 and i could hear him complaining about the bad service that nokia is providing. I was quite glad (sadistically) that there is someone who is going through the same ordeal as i did, though i can see that he was giving the people there quite a hard time. I comtemplated going over to aid him in his complaint but decided against it, gotta be nice to the people. So, i waited patiently for my turn to get back my phone. After i got back my phone, i kindly feedback about the situation of their service. The guy was like there is nothing much that they can do on their part and the fact that i have to wait for TWO weeks is normal and i have to regard as being understanding on my part that they are just doing their job. So, i kindly listened to what he has got to say and then explained what actually happened and asked if he could feedback about it, he got me a form to fill up which i wrote a good ONE page about what happened. If the form actually gets "UP THERE". Oh well, there was this comment that goes "would you recommend people to our centre?" i would even recommend people to use nokia for that matter!! *sigh*

Oh, did i mentioned that i bumped into zhouren and his gf?? She was there to collect her phone and its the same model as mine (and so is that couple's phone). Seem like its a problematic model huh??

I was then late for my tuition today, but the mom was understanding. But dint do much today, just went through some vocab and most of the time he was talking rubbish with me. I wasnt in a mood to teach either, i think i dazed quite a bit today. I wonder what is wrong with me today. But the swim in the afternoon was particularly refreshing i would say. I enjoyed swimming not becos i can workout but it is an avenue that allows me time to think and reflect. Though i prob gain back all the calories after the dinner at chomp chomp to celebrate Jermyn's birthday. Lester's mom was like"do you eat so much everyday??" (with horrified looks in her face). The thing is that i dint eat dinner and i dint really eat that much, she havent seen worse. But i feel a need to really workout more. Must have more self-discipline- if only that can be injected into me.

I was supposed to be studying but I havent gotten around to doing that since the beginning of this semster. So much for all the resolutions that i must study hard and stuff like that and the actual fact is that i havent touch a single reading ( I am NOT kidding!!) i think i need a massive load of energy to overcome this inertia. Greater mass, great inertia. *hmmm* *sigh*

***

慢下腳步，聽聽你的心在說什麼。
告訴我你在想什麼。 we had a reall great weekend conference and service with rev. ulf ekman. He not only taught us many things but there is sth more to that, he has brought us up to the next level. There is spirit to spirit impartation of faith and everything that we need to move on to the next phrase of our life and as a church.

Refreshed vision and renewed strength to carry on running this race, with you here with me.

- hiatus - dad bought some grapes that are really sweet!! thank you daddy! love you!

***

listen to your heart..what has your heart gotta say? That was sth out of the vcd that i have been watching for the past week. Not only in the natural, in relationships, but rather it is in most areas of our lives, including ministry. It sld never get to a point where everything becomes so administrative but everything out of love. Jus sth that has been getting in my mind these days. Relationships and people, i never knew that they mattered so much to me that my heart aches everytime i think of what i can do for them, yet they are still not around. But thank God for His vision today that i can hold on to and i can lean on to continue to walk and run this journey.

***

you know people always have this fantasy whether they know it or not to wanna have a happy ending or to live in a fairy tale..but even fairy tales are not perfect, there are existing stepmoms who are difficult (thats the understatement) to get along with and there are all the rivary. Yet, people like them cos they reflect the reality and at the same time, it gives them a hope that things will work out well like mentioned in the stories, all live happly ever after.
i guess a part of me watched wang zi bian qing qa with that kind of thinking. how many people you meet will actually lose their memory? and how everything jus falls into place? i doubt so. but people jus long for a piece of fantasy in this broken down world and every girl wanna be someone's princess. though all these are fantasy..but God has a way of bringing the right people into your life. jus that for me, now is not the time. haha. there are other thinfgs to do.

***

a man without a vision will go back to his past.
i wanna keep on going forward

***

i will always be someone's baby and i am glad that i am Yours. been up too much the past week, finally finished watching the wang zi bian qing wa vcds that siang gave me. funny how people love to live in this kind of fairy tale like shows. Alright, i admit that i simply love a good romance show, movie or novel. hahax. but i think too much of those are not good, makes you live in a make-believe world that does not exist in reality. But its a good escape sometimes, away from all the troubles and the cruelity of the reality that we are expose to, not that there is nothing good in this real world but it jus allows you room to imagine and roam. hahax..see too much vcd-ing in the past week. which is sth that i need to repent of man, havent hit my books at all..there are serveral people who are so going to breathe down my nek when they see this entry. hahahx..Allow me some freedom to watch sth that i enjoy lar..havent had time to myself for a long time.

been a long week, seems like i have been thinking alot but yet at the same time i cannot recall what i have been thinking about. apart from the fact that i have sort of decide what i wanna major in. i think the rest pretty much evolves around the plot and the setting of the vcd. haha. yapx..pretty much illusions that do not exist in the real world. do you believe in fairy tales??

got a test at 10am in the morning, better go get some rest and try to smoke my way though. i know that i sld have spent more time studying but the temptation of the vcd is jus too great to resist. now i gotta learn to deal with the after effects of the vcd. oh well..

***

every girl would wanna be someone's princess.

estelle asked, whose princess do you wanna be??

we are all God's princesses cos He is the King of kings and since we are His daugthers, that makes us legally princesses. hahahx.

that's not the answer that estelle is looking for i guess.

haha. but this is not the time or season to think about this la.
alright, so what's with the spice girls? i was jus looking for a song that day and hence the pic of them. They were really big back when we were all still in primary and all the big hoo-ha about girl power and things like that. Oh well, that is all a long time ago. But we grew up during th boybands and girlbands period which is rather interesting and amusing if you ask me and they are pretty much an integral part of my life then and now. hahax.

Listen little child
There will come a day
When you will be able, able to say
Never mind the pain, all the aggravation
You know there's a better way
For you and me to be

Look for the rainbow in every storm
Fly like an angel heaven sent to me

Goodbye my friend
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)
It's not the end
(you gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)
So glad we made it, time will never change it,
no noNo no no no

Just a little girl, big imagination
Never letting no one take it away
Went into the world, what a revelation
She found there's a better way for you and me to be

Look for the rainbow in every storm
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

The times when we would play about
The way we used to scream and shout
We never dreamed you'd go your own sweet way

: : Goodbye : : Spice girls : :

supposed to be able to collect my phone yesterday but went down today to attempt to collect it but it wasnt ready for collection yet and there was NO calls to let me know that i cant collect my phone yet and totally wasted my trip down there. i mean what kind of service is this? they sld at least let me now that there will be a delay. The guy told me that the phone has been sent to the headquaters. God knows where is the headquaters in the first place la. What a pain! There has gotta be a reason why there isnt a feedback or
"email us" at the nokia website cos there are jus too much complaints that they have to deal with. Perhaps then, they sld look into the root of the problem and make themaselves a better company people will go to and not allow this negative marketing carry on. oh well, i have to survive with the old skool 3310 for now. sigh. i live for you
All that i am, all that i do
My heart beats with You
Each day i wake i think of You

You are why i sing
YOu are why i live
Everything of me, i place at Your feet
You are why i Love
You are why i give.
Everything of me belongs to You

I live for YOu
YOu are my God, You are the truth
You're all that i need
My soul it longs for more of You

:: U.R.Y ::

you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. there has first got to be a sacrifice at the altar. what am i going to sacrifice today?

***

i never realised the extend that these people mean so much to me. they are more than a number, they are individual lives that matters to me. how are they doing recently, is everything going well for them? so many of them are missing, no wonder i feel that a part of me is missing becos each one of you carries a part of me with you wherever you go.

***

this year vday is DIFFERENT. i think after 2 years in sajc (alright the first vday wasnt spent there but in any JC there is this hype about vday..though this year the J1s dont get to experience it cos they are all so busy with the JAE exercise thing. haha.)i kind of miss all the helium balloons that we will get for each other at hyper inflated rates jus for vday, the chocs that people around you will give out and small little gifts jus to express the love and friendship. not that all these are necessarily an ecpression of the appreciation for the people around but you are jus being caught up in the whole fun and joy. not that there isnt any hype at nus, but its that kind that you can walk right through the whole thing and walk out not being affected. haha. there is this flowers that was delivered to the soci tut but the girl is either not in our class or that she ponned tut to go out today la. oh well, jus exactly what winnie and i were discussing might happen and it really did. soci tutor told us sth funny about himself. being the nice and loving husband that he is and he wanna make his wife happy for the whole day. He presented the $500 odd goldheart necklace and earrings to the wife in the morning. But his wife did not "socialise" enough and said that they were ugly. and said that they sld keeo it for the son's wife in the future (the son is only 2 years old). she asked him if they could change the jewellery.
that left him sad and devastated for the whole day. but we thought that it was quite funny. i wonder if they managed to exchange the gift to sth else at compasspoint. haha. as some of us tell him. Get her a diamond, its the woman's best friend (which might not be entirely true but that is sure a safer bet than what he bought). Haha, the gift huh?? jus say that i might have the same thoughts as his wife but mayb i'll jus keep the comments to myself. hahah *wink* you get the idea.

***

Happy valentine's Day
(its still 14 feb at the other side of the globe ok?? lols) i live for you
All that i am, all that i do
My heart beats with You
Each day i wake i think of You

You are why i sing
YOu are why i live
Everything of me, i place at Your feet
You are why i Love
You are why i give.
Everything of me belongs to You

I live for YOu
YOu are my God, You are the truth
You're all that i need
My soul it longs for more of You

:: U.R.Y ::

you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. there has first got to be a sacrifice at the altar. what am i going to sacrifice today?

***

i never realised the extend that these people mean so much to me. they are more than a number, they are individual lives that matters to me. how are they doing recently, is everything going well for them? so many of them are missing, no wonder i feel that a part of me is missing becos each one of you carries a part of me with you wherever you go.

***

this year vday is DIFFERENT. i think after 2 years in sajc (alright the first vday wasnt spent there but in any JC there is this hype about vday..though this year the J1s dont get to experience it cos they are all so busy with the JAE exercise thing. haha.)i kind of miss all the helium balloons that we will get for each other at hyper inflated rates jus for vday, the chocs that people around you will give out and small little gifts jus to express the love and friendship. not that all these are necessarily an ecpression of the appreciation for the people around but you are jus being caught up in the whole fun and joy. not that there isnt any hype at nus, but its that kind that you can walk right through the whole thing and walk out not being affected. haha. there is this flowers that was delivered to the soci tut but the girl is either not in our class or that she ponned tut to go out today la. oh well, jus exactly what winnie and i were discussing might happen and it really did. soci tutor told us sth funny about himself. being the nice and loving husband that he is and he wanna make his wife happy for the whole day. He presented the $500 odd goldheart necklace and earrings to the wife in the morning. But his wife did not "socialise" enough and said that they were ugly. and said that they sld keeo it for the son's wife in the future (the son is only 2 years old). she asked him if they could change the jewellery.
that left him sad and devastated for the whole day. but we thought that it was quite funny. i wonder if they managed to exchange the gift to sth else at compasspoint. haha. as some of us tell him. Get her a diamond, its the woman's best friend (which might not be entirely true but that is sure a safer bet than what he bought). Haha, the gift huh?? jus say that i might have the same thoughts as his wife but mayb i'll jus keep the comments to myself. hahah *wink* you get the idea.

***

Happy valentine's Day
(its still 14 feb at the other side of the globe ok?? lols) A dream is a wish your heart makes,
When you're fast asleep,
In dreams you lose your heartaches,
Whatever you wish for, you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday,
Your rainbow will come smiling through,
No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on believing,
The dream that you wish will come true.

A dream is a wish your heart makes,
When you're feeling small,
Alone, In the night you whisper,
Thinking no one can hear you at all.

You wake with the morning sunlight,
To find fortune that is smiling on you,
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow,
For all you know tomorrow,
The dream that you wish will come true.

A dream is a wish your heart makes,
A dream is a wish your heart makes.

No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true

:: a dream is a wish your heart makes :: Daniel Bedingfield ::

actually i had quite alot to say but all of that slipped my mind as i went to do stuff.

been busy with life but it seems like i havent been getting things done. i think the word is focus. i went swimming today and there are alot of things that i thought of while swimming (i think alot while i am swimming) and i was jus thinking that what makes an athlete stand out from the rest of the people is not their talents and abilities but their ability to focus, to adapt and to adjust as their surroundings change. but most of us, alright at least myself is unable to bring this spirit back to the real life. once all the trainings stop, the word discipline seems to have vanish into thin air. there are so many things that needs to be done and inefficiency is the taboo word cos if you do things well, you only need to do it once, if you dont then you have to do it again and again. i dont believe in doing corrections in the past i tink that it is jus a waste of time. hahah.

drawing nearer to mid term break, i was really thinking that i dont wanna work at R.O anymore but when i saw my phone bill for this month, i thought that i better hang on to that job first and clock in some hours during this mid- term break though i still more better use it to study. hahah.

ahh..so many things on my mind yet i am not able to pen it down.

water baptism was great, daddy was there and i am really glad for that.
vann and yang got me Christ the Lord the book that i have always wanted.
this is a new beginning and i believe that with all my heart. funny how God works at His own timing but i truly believe that this is planned for this point in time for a reason and i have no question though abit curious about the future. but the Lord says that i have not given you a spirit of fear but of a sound mind, to give you a future and a hope. so there is always something to look forward to.

still alot of things on my mind. but i'll leave it for another time.

SIANG!!! i'm missing you already. remember to mail regularly.

HAPPY VDAY (or friendship day) people!! Everything must change
There's a mirror showing me the ugly truth
These bones they ache with holy fire
But I've got nothing to give, just a life to live
If your world is without colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright [x2]

There's no-one else to blame
I live my life between the fire and the flame
I've built my house where the ocean meets the land
It's time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand
Let your world be full of colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

When it's all falling down on you
You're crying out but you’re breaking in two
When it's all crashing down on you
When there's nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

:: every little thing :: delirious + daniel bedingfield ::

this song is simply great, when i saw it on sam's msn playing list, i know that i have to get my hands on this song.

this song is for you. not only does it express what i wanna say to you but i guess that the beauty of this song is exactly what God is speaking to us at this instance i feel. thanks for everything that you are to me. you never know how much all the little tings meant to me.

***

time to get to work you lazy bumb..there will always be other things that has to be done but that doesnt mean that you dont have to get yourself to start studying you are already behind all your school work. so much for wanting to achieve so much huh?? those will not materialise until you decide to do sth. do you get it??
YES! i get it. i think that i have to increase in my self discipline, if not all these will remain to be words i tell myself occasionally.

sigh. mid terms are coming. and i am totally clueless of the happenings in the different modules.

***

funny how it is to be able to enourage someone else and the most difficult person to encourage is yourself. indeed the greatest enemy is yourself and i do not want average to be my best friend. i know that there are things that i need to improve on and there are more things that needs to be done. funny how you say sth to someone and on that very day a few hours later you are the one that need someone to say the exact same thing to you when you know very well what you need. life is funny.

there is power in confession and visualisation.
what is it that you need??
visualise and confess them into existance.

***

countdown to baptism. one more day!~! adalia means
1. its my baptism name
2. God is my refuge, noble
3. a pest management company
4. a rock band
5. a country of the turkish turf
6. a ladybug
7. a fire god (according to jonah)

i prefer the first and second meaning and shall keep to that yar?? hahah...

water baptism is drawing near, i am really excited cos its sth that i have always been praying for and it finally coming to past when daddy signed the form yesterday. i hope that daddy can be there for the water baptism service. and it means a new beginning for me and i think that it is a good time for that. and from this moment, i shall move on and never look abck on the things in life that doesnt matter anymore. Great..God is good.

bestie!!!! i promise that i'll video it down and send it to you ok?? i wish that you could be here..really. but its ok cos i know that i have your blessings. counting down the days till you are back!!! remember our pact to do the uniform thing!! hahax.

***

we met up on sunday to celebrate a belated birthday of siang who forgot to inform wen of the time and the place to meet..so we are one person short again. arrgh. that is so sad..we forgo the initial plan to go k-box cos it is a little ex though it was much lower than the exploiting CNY rates..we went to suki- sushi, pool and k-session at this cc at serangoon. thats quite alot of things that we did within a few hours. but it also meant that our buffet session is unbelievably short and we really dint eat for very long. haha. pool was a funny time. and i guess its time that we really and finally decide on the name that we wanna use for the rest of our lives, i still remember the funny names that we used to have and change ever so frequently tat we lost track of how many names we actually have. haha. those were the days.


here are the pool pictures. a great time there though the table cmi la..ang fion got the "title" of match-girl and huo cai tian tang is the song of the night. haha.


here are a group of photos that i really like. fion and i were trying to pose 1-10 for the photos. some turn out horrible but others were great.

friends for the past decade and i think we're going to last longer than that.

after tat i took a cab home from there cos i wanna be home quick cos its daddy's birthday. but the taxi i took was so horribly slow. you wldnt believe the speed that it travelled at. it was travelling at 40km/h on normal roads and 60km/h on the EXPRESSWAY. i think that i never took a cab that is so slow. not only did i ended up paying more but it took me a good 30mins to get home. which is way too long. that is a totally bad experience on the cab. i almost fell aslp la..but daddy is already aslp..i felt bad for not celebrating his birthday with him..after all he agreed to baptism on that day itself..

I LOVE MY DADDY becos he has always been a great daddy..providing all that i need since i was a child and it wasnt easy for him to do it by himself. i am so glad to have my daddy though at times i wish that times arent so hard..but daddy is jus great la...yeah!! i cant believe this!!!

DADDY SAYS OK TO WATER BAPTISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRAISE TO THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so excited that i cant sleep........ After all you put me through
You'd think I despise you
But in the end I wanna thank you
'cause you made me that much stronger

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU WON'T STOP ME

I am a fighter and I (fighter and I)
I ain't goin stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

:: Christina Aguilera :: Fighter ::

i really liked this song while i was back in j1 though they keep playin it over and over again on air that kind that was the song that accompany me through one of the worse transition in my life (but subsequently i went through worse..) i guess that it really make you wanna fight on and fight it all out.

my favourite quote of the moment says it all:

When a goal matters enough to a person, that person will find a way to accomplish what at first seemed impossible.
- Nido Qubein

JUST FIGHT IT ALL OUT AND GIVE IT THE BEST SHOT THAT YOU CAN. YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE. not on your own strenght though. stress..do you understand the meaning of stress?? i guess that i never really truly understood the meaning of stress..i thought that exams are stressful, i thought that having to play a good bball match is stressful..i thought that trying to make ends meet is stressful. i never thought that it can be so stressful trying to make things happen. when all you get is stress from above and the people you are trying to convey the msg to dont even care at all and you have tried and the people around you are already trying to stay away from you. you are caught in the middle, you know how everyone else feel. but there is no one who understand how you feel. the bottomline?? you can make things happen, pray and ask for anointing and ask for wisdom. arrgh..this is so stressful. i rather be doing anything else BUT there is nothing more pressing and important as this. becos we are really running out of time. what can i do??

things wasnt so difficult from what i recall, it was more fun-- well that is when everyone else is in it together, it is fun. not when you are trying to run this race on your own and all that you wanna do now is to go look for a cave out in the wilderness and hide in it and never to be able to be contacted through any means, cut away from all civilisation and people. jus be alone-- totally alone for a while, think through the things that matter, gather up whatever you need to carry on. but you know that you cannot becos there are responsibilities, you know that there are things that need to be done, you know that you have to bite your teeth and carry on. you know that there are people that need you to be around, when you realised that you are alive not jus for yourself but there are things to be done. that is when you know that you cannot do it on your own strength. cos you will reach a point where you realise that your strength can only carry you on land but not soaring above the storms, there and then you know that you need a pair of wings that can carry you through.

passion. mayb that is what i need right now. for everything, for people, for doing things, for studies, for giving tuition, for working, for even eating and talking. i need to enjoy doing all these things that i am doing. i need the fire, i need the passion, i need the love for all things. I NEED YOUR STRENGTH. i dont think i can carry on by my own strength anymore.

i am jus human.
with nothing great within me.
but i know that i can lean on,
i can depend on,
i can run to,
i can look to,
-YOU.

those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be waery, they shall walk and not faint. -isaiah 40:31

this jus keep playing in my brain, over and over again. day and night. i think i know what i need to know.

"When a goal matters enough to a person, that person will find a way to accomplish what at first seemed impossible.
- Nido Qubein"
i ripped this off someone's blog..but this really speak to me. does everything matter enough to me for me to go through all these willingly. i guess it doesnt for now but i am beginning to see it. when it matters to You, it matters to me and i will have the strength to make the impossible--> POSSIBLE. after the hype and all the excitement of cny has died down..i guess that marks the end of the short break that we have and its the beginning of the mugging for students all over singapore. for me, i have to dive into the many readings that i have been neglecting ever since the start of the school one month ago..yes yes..i WILL get down to doing them. for now at this moment, i have a marketing tutorial and management tutorial to prepare and it is not exactly a nice thing to have a tutorial tml at EIGHT..that is not a funny thing..sigh..but what to do man..

went over to evon's place for lunch today, though it was rather weird, it was ok. her mom fed us WELL..and you dont need me to elaborate that..and we were all very full..but the food was good, i think i never like yu sheng but today's was great..haha..maybe becos we added ALOT of that sweet sauce..haha..after which cab down to jo's house as i was already late..more food there and we watched half of end of days and then we left for movies down at cine. caught cheaper by the dozen 2 and it was really hilarious..couldnt stop laughing, i dunno who said that it wasnt nice..it was not bad..after which couz and aunt wanna watch i not stupid too..so after the first movie with a 20mins break, i went to watch the next movie..i guess its pretty much a movie marathon. i think i not stupid too is good..people you sld go catch it..really touching and yet funny at the same time. i guess the reason why it is so heart-wrenching is becos it is so cloae to heart that you can relate to what they were saying in the show exactly. many issues were that which we are trying so hard to avoid as a society..haha..it thought they were well-tackled in the show..

you did so many things out of love for me,
yet you didnt know how to express the love you have...
but i know them and i see them,
i appreciate all that you have done for me...
daddy...
OLDER | NEWER