I know that you've been watching over me
You're up so high the brightest in the sky
You know that every night I pray my soul for you
Tomorrow won't be as blue

Oh girl I hope you can understand
That the song will always shine again
Now that you've found your way onto a better day

You'll shine again
You'll shine again
Give you strength and love to fight the days ahead
I see the light see a rainbow
See the beauty that's within you
You'll shine again
You are so beautiful

Oh girl I hope you can understand
That my love for you will never end
Now that you've found your way onto a better day

You'll shine again
You'll shine again
Give you strength and love to fight the days ahead
I see the light see a rainbow see the life
Ooh I promise you'll be there
There's no reason to be scared

You'll shine again
You'll shine again...
You'll find your life find your reason
Everything will be alright
For tomorrow just beginning of your life

: : You'll Shine Again : : Justin Lo : :

this is one of the songs that i heard from the show -2 become 1-. jus think that music is a great tool, it is a pleasure to be able to listen to music and there is so much that music can do to you and your soul. the melodies that keep playing, different songs that are meant for different occasion. this is another singer that i feel has great potential, seems like he's not so "big" in Singapore..hoping to get to hear his songs more.

***
ziyang say that i'll soar like the eagles. he say that breakthrough is coming after all these things tide over, i seriously hope so. i dont like the feeling of being so helpless but you come to a point where you realised that there is nothing much that you can do to help. the only thing that i know is that the future holds great uncertainties. hearing the nurse goes on and on and on, the only thing that came to my mind is the concern of money and that is the thing that i feel that always pop up in life..like what we learn today in bible study: a road block and it has always been sth that is always blocking me. i need to breakthrough in that and i wanna see my vision come to pass.

i realised that there is no room for me to fail, seems like every time jus before an exam there will be things that will draw my attention away from studying (of all things) but then again, they also make me see the need for me to really go and hit the books though there is no time for me to actually do that. but i jus cant afford to waste time and the only way out is to do well..sigh. sometimes i really wonder how come life is so not fair, but i guess that there is nothing much that is that fair in this broken down world. gotta pick myself up and keep going, no one is going to be bothered me, i gotta be bothered about myself.

arrgh..what am i talking about?

will i shine again? wait, have i even shone before?

if i had wings i would fly. where to? never thought that taking a lift in the hospital can be such a horrifying experience, scenes from "the eye" flashed across my mind as i took that lift down alone and head towards home. it was of cos good to have the house to yourself but i guess that i rather not have it under such circumstances and i would very much want healing and recovery. alas, in the meantime, it would mean lots of prayers and some miracles.

there are 2 presentations, one essay and a test all next week..alright the essay is due this friday but as if that makes any difference. But i plan to finsh up on that essay by wed so that i dont need to rush through it and there might jus be some last min things that could come up. you never know.

been thinking alot recently, like when i was in the hospital waiting room and i watched the news about the SAF officier who died after he dropped 600m away from the finishing line of the biathlon on sun. i mean life is so short and there are all kinds of things that might jus happen. before you know it, it might be too late. treasure life and treasure the people around you. i guess the worse part of watching that news is to know that he is leaving behind his wife and two young daugthers, prays that the family would have the peace and the strength to walk this life journey from now on.

life was never meant to be a bed of roses, there are so many challenges and esp you come to the saving knowledge of Lord, it seems like challenges are more apparent and there are more things that you gotta deal with. i believe that everything happens for a reason and i believe that there is sth that we can all learn from the things that take place in our lives and they are all for preparations for the things that are to come. i dunno what are the things that might be coming up ahead but i know that though there are more challenges now, at least i am not going through it on my own strength anymore. and at the right hand of the Father, there is always someone making intercession for us on our behalf, what a comforting thought.

***
slow down and take a good look at the world around
before they vanish and become part of the history
where there is nothing that we can change
behold the future holds great and mighty things
the future unfolds and reveal great plans and destiny for you and me.

will you be there and catch me when i fall? service was great yesterday and i like saturday service, i dunno why but i jus prefer satureday services. pastor talked about crossing the 5 different lines: unknown, comfort, impossible, positive affirmation, pull of the world. you know, how true that all these 5 lines are those that we have to cross, if not we will jus live mandane and boring lives. and one of the other things that he talked about was that there is no success without sacrifice, so many times we wanna take the easy way out, wanna have great achievements without putting in efforts but even God worked hard when He created the heavens and the earth. there is no shortcuts in life. gotta take up the cross and follow Him wherever He has called us to go.

just thinking about some stuff..some stuff that is totally not related to the service cos there are jus some stuff that has been on my mind but havent sorted them out (not that complicted but something jus keep bothering me) can you tell me what is wrong with me? i guess that you wouldnt know..what a dumb conversation with myself. sigh.

maybe i sld continue later bah..see you around..
why am i talking to myself?

if i were to fall will you catch my fall?
Before the world begin, you were on His mind
And every tear you cry is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love, He gave His only son
Everything was done so you would come

Nothing you can do to make Him love you more
And nothing you have done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love, He gave His only son
Everything was done so you would come

Come to the Father though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all
The power of the Word, the power of His blood
Everything was done so you would come

: : So you would come : :

this song never fail to paint a picture of the great love of our dear Lord. and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. how great this love is.

***

she was searching for something. she was looking for a feeling, for someone.
for someone who dint have much in her life, she wasnt looking for the whole world.
jus someone who will hold her in arms that are wide enough.
a pair of arms that can assure her that nothing will harm her anymore.
that tells her that she does not have to fight or worry about tml and what it will bring.
she look strong and perhaps she is cos she hasnt found what she needs.
she need to be strong. hanging on in this world where there are so many disappointments.
scared and feeling all alone though she has people around her.
she fight back her tears and she kept it to herself.
she doesnt need jus anyone, she doesnt need jus another friend.
she doesnt need a thousand words to tell her what to do.
cos she has the answers planned and worked out long ago.
she doesnt need jus another person like myself around.
but all that she needs to know is that "girl i love you for who you are."
plus a hug and some rest and peace deep into the night.

***

disappointments and disillusion are driving people crazy in this broken down world where the ideals are never attained. unrealistic expectations that people set for themselves and others jus to bring even greater disappointments. at such, people stop expecting because when they do that, they believe that they will never be put down again. is that true?

broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all
will we be willing to give them to Him? sth we lived with for all of our lives. The Fig Tree Withered
12 Now the next day, when they had come out from Bethany, He was hungry.
13 And seeing from afar a fig tree having leaves, He went to see if perhaps He would find something on it. When He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.
14 In response Jesus said to it, "Let no one eat fruit from you ever again." And His disciples heard it.

The Lesson of the Withered Fig Tree
20 Now in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.
21 And Peter, remembering, said to Him, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree which You cursed has withered away."
22 So Jesus answered and said to them, "Have faith in God.
23 For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.
24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

: : Mark 11:12-14, 20-24 : : NKJV : :

alright, this story keep coming up when i read the Word..what is God trying to get to me on?
1. to be fruitful?
2. to have faith?

incline your ears to My voice and God is found in the still small voice.
what are you trying to tell me Lord?
i wish that my mind is not too cluttered that it cannot hear Your voice. send Your spirit to guide me i pray. alright,
i am supposed to be watching a video in the library for the marketing presentation that is due soon but i am not able to do that becos i lent my matix card out and she dint answer my phone and i cant get it back. so i am reduced to sit in this comp lab at the biz fac trying to find information for the simulation next thurs but i got really bored of it. and at this particular moment just say that i am not in the mood to do anything at all. like i know that there are many things that has to be done but things are sonot going well that i just dont feel like doing anything at all.

there are readings to be read, there are people to contact and yet nothing is working out. Exams are coming and i am not doing anyting..arrgh..
"OEI..wake up lar..."

i know that it is the fantastic plan of our favourite bad guy, deceiving us and getting us down everything we had an encounter and a revelation to keep on going. this is so much of a repetition that you sld know what the devil will do next and you know what you are supposed to do next too - get up and stop feeling sorry and pathetic about yourself and move on and get on what you are suppose to do, faith without works is dead. and right now i do feel as dead as i look at this very instance.

to think that no one cares about you is a selfish thought, i never gotten around to putting this into a phrase until i read what a friend wrote. how true. the fact is that we do matter to someone and the very moment we think that no one cares we are being selfish and what more, we are saying that God is a liar. i wish that i had greater capacity and wisdom to handle people and things, but yet at the same time hi hope that people will jus grow up, get their act together and get out of this pity- party that will jus drag on forever if there is no decision made to snap out of it.

a leader:
- attentive to the little things.
- listen to what people has gotta hear.
- followers who are willing to follow.

i dunno what else i got out of the tutorial jus now but i tink that one thing i do know is that as much as you wanna take note of the details, you cant please everyone and as much as you wanna listen, not everyone wanna talk --> as much as their actions are shouting out for you to listen to them and then they will play hard to get. bottomline- if they are not willing to follow, there is nothing much that you can do. you can only drag them along for a certain distance, the rest- they gotta learn to walk on their own.

***
some dreams you wish that they can come true,
some reality you wish that they are jus dreams that you can wake up from.

*** Over the mountains and the seas
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the Healer set me free
I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing of whenYour love came down

I could sing of your love forever
I could sing of your love forever
I could sing of your love forever
I could sing of your love forever

Oh I feel like dancing
Its foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy
Like we're dancing now.

: : I could sing of Your Love Forever : :

this is one of my all time favourite..not becos of anything but becos 6 years ago when i walked down the aisle at the old hollywood theatre, this was the song that was sang. i re-visited that place yesterday, not only cos the song was played and sang again but the same presence that i felt that day 6 years ago, i felt it again yesterday.

All of a sudden, i was brought back to that day i walk down the aisle and that day i gave my heart to Jesus and slowy but surely my life totally changed. I was never someone to embrace religion, i believed that you sld depend on yourself.

That is, until you know that there are things that are not within your control or ability to do anything. That is until you realise that when you tried your best, you dont get the results that you want. That is until a point where all you want is to fill that void in your heart. His presence is real and it saw me through many many difficult times of my life that i would have otherwise gave up.

Yesterday, i had a glimpse of how i felt that day 6 years ago, with much doubt and apprenhension, i walked down that aisle without people asking me. I found myself in front of pastor, i dint cry like most people did when they receive the Lord, i thought i was weird and maybe emotionless, but this moment i realised the answer--

at that moment i received the peace in my heart that i had always wanted. have you ever wondered how come it is always the people from hcjc and rjc who are bagging all the scholarships that are given out each year? this is with due respect to all out there who are in this category including 2 of my closest friends. This is no wonder that people are fighting for the chance to be in this 2 elite schools. I dint really regard the importance of this "status" until you start looking at all the scholarships interviews and you realise that the people all have something in common apart from scoring straight As. As the school tuition fees escalate in Singapore, many including myself are worried about the bleak prospect of stepping out into the working world, with just a degree from the local university together with thousand of other graduates and a burden of debt the moment we graduate. This debt is with us the moment we step into the workforce and remain with us till we are able to clear them with the first 5 years of our salary,

That is if we are able to find a job within the first few months.
A university degree no longer mean anything to the paper conscious world in this society. Each year, students fight for placing in the top school, to be one of the many scholarship recipents. Many of these who are actually awarded the scholarships has no need for them as the family are more than able to provide for the cost of education, instead the purpose then of these scholarships no longer serve as an incentive to those who are not as well of to be able to get an education but a reflection of prestige and honour. It does not necessarily mean that those who dint get the scholarship are very much worse off in their results, but perhaps a little not as good. So here goes their future and they have to slog their life off to pay the debt while those who can actually afford the education get to live in bliss.

You may think that this is a case of sour grapes, and indeed it is partially. But i am pretty sure that i am not the only one who feels this way. Then, the respective authority will step out and speak out that there are financial aid for those who needs them. If that is so, the standards of these aid sldnt be only for people with extremely bad financial status. I dont need to be a rocket scientist to know that a family with income less then 1000 with 5 children to feed wld not have the ability to pay the fees and needs aid. But, how many people are actually in that category? Think about it, with the birth rate of one point sth and most of the people educated, that is like the minority of the minority. If the financial aid are set to have such strigent requirements, how many can actually qualify? on top of that you have to have excellent results, so someone who are in between with "ok" results are bond to suffer?

I understand the case for the efficiency to deduct the fees to ensure the "smooth" running of the campus. And the "fine" of $25(i think thats the rate) for any late payment is to ensure that people pay their fees on time. But as my friend pointed out, anyone who has the cash wouldnt want to be late in payment, in doing this wouldnt the people who are penalised be those who have the difficulty to pay and have to find ways to pay the 20% remaining of the fees that the loan doesnt cover? I dont see the administrations being so efficient in other aspects with respect to the student welfare though.

I believe that the students are the best "advertisement" for the school they are in. If you treat the students well, they will say good things about the school. But each year tons of money are channelled to "advertise" for the school when the money can be saved to provide better welfare for the students who will in turn be the most effective medium of advertisement.

the above are just personal thoughts and comments, no offense are to be taken. ANALYSIS
Am I a Type-A?
Your score is: 129 (A+)

This instrument measures the degree to which you're competitive and rushed for time. The Type A personality describes someone who is aggressively involved in a chronic, incessant struggle to achieve more and more in less and less time. More specifically, Type As are always moving, walking, and eating rapidly; feel impatient with the pace of most events; strive to do two or more things at once; do not cope well with leisure time; and are obsessed with numbers, measuring their success in terms of how many or how much of everything they acquire. Type Bs are the exact opposites.

A total of 120 or more indicates that you are a hard-core Type A.
Scores below 90 indicate that you are a hard-core Type B.

The following gives you more specifics:
120 or more points = A+ personality type
106-119 = A
100-105 = A
90-99 = B+
Less than 90 = B

If you score in the "A" categories, you need to be aware of your tendency to focus on quantity over quality. You may do better in jobs that are routine and rely on speed rather than creativity for success. In addition, Type As often experience moderate to high levels of stress.

***

haha..that was one of the many polls of the mno stuff that we are doing now but this is not one of the required test jus curious and went to take it..interesting results..something to reflect on i guess..lolx..but i dont feel stressed at all, in fact i think that i need more stress in order for me not to be so slack man...hahax..

here's another one..i think i am obessed with it...

ANALYSIS

What's My Basic Personality?

The five-factor model of personality - often referred to as the Big Five - has an impressive body of research supporting that five basic personality dimensions underlie human behavior. These five dimensions are defined as follows:

Extraversion. Someone who is sociable, talkative, and assertive. High scores indicate an extravert; low scores indicate an introvert.

Agreeableness. Someone who is good-natured, cooperative, and trusting. This is a measure of your propensity to defer to others. High scores indicate you value harmony; low scores indicate you prefer having your say or way on issues.

Conscientiousness. Someone who is responsible, dependable, persistent, and achievement oriented. High scores indicate that you pursue fewer goals in a purposeful way; low scores indicate that you're more easily distracted, pursue many goals, and are more hedonistic.

Emotional stability. Someone who is calm, enthusiastic, and secure. High scores indicate positive emotional stability; low scores indicate negative emotional stability. Openness to experience. Someone who is imaginative, artistically sensitive, and intellectual. High scores indicate a wide range of interests and a fascination with novelty and innovation; low scores indicate you're more conventional and find comfort in the familiar.

Your personality score was calculated as follows (with reverse scoring on those items marked with an asterisk). Scores in each category will range from 3 to 15:

Extraversion: You scored 9

Agreeableness: You scored 11

Conscientiousness: You scored 13

Emotional Stability: You scored 9

Openness to Experience: You scored 10

The most impressive evidence relates to the conscientiousness dimension. Studies show that conscientiousness predicts job performance for all occupational groups. The preponderance of evidence indicates that individuals who are dependable, reliable, thorough, organized, able to plan, and persistent tend to have higher job performance in most, if not all, occupations.

***
i scored the highest for conscientiousness dimension..how's that and what is that supposed to imply..waahaha..what a morale booster...lolx...
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