you know i am stressed:
- when i start snapping at you for the tiniest thing (but know that i am just stressed)
- when i spend time on the net doing nothing productive but looking through webpages and blogs and friendsters
- when i contemplated walking back from hotel miramar after the dinner just now
- when dark circles are so obvious on my face even though i am sleeping more than ever before
- when i begin to do nothing and just sit around listening to music and doing nothing
- when i am here blogging when there are tons of things that needs my attention more!

yes..stress and what do i do when i am stressed...

ultimate, i will breakdown and cry but i am not at that stage yet..just those that are listed on top..and what i am doing now..blogging...

只好让礼物安静躺在我口袋
宁愿看著你跟他快乐聊到笑开 yeah～
当用情两字不足形容我情感
心情都随你转弯
而其他情景问我耳朵爱情都听不完
适合我们的从不是浪漫

你不会爱我的爱我明白
你的最爱那一块哪天我才存在
我不会爱你的爱受伤害
所以宁愿安静的等待

只剩下冰冷空气陪我一整晚
寂寞却多到塞车根本无法动弹 yeah～
一翻身我在半夜突然就醒来
梦里你的唇柔软
而其他情景问我耳朵爱情都听不完
适合我们的从不是浪漫

爱你我慢不下来没有哪一天例外
愿自己比快我会赶上你未来 ho～

你不会爱我的爱我明白
你的最爱那一块哪天我才存在
我不会爱你的爱受伤害
所以宁愿安静的等待
不怕空白

:: 不会爱 :: 飞轮海 :: 终极一家片尾曲 ::

was listening to Y.E.S 933 yesterday on my way back and listening to the dedication of someone and i realised that it has been a long time since i last listen to the radio- cos i like the music but i dont like to listen to all the DJ talking..hahhaa..but like what the DJ was saying- 飞轮海 was formed for about a year already and i went like "ya hor" and thoughts with regards to them and of cos not with regards to them begin to run through my mind.
from their 我有我的Young that zhaohui intro to me during k-ing last year to going for their autograph session in jan to now their new 不会爱 its been a long year too for them!

想用中文来blog..不知不觉这一年已经过了一大半. 认识飞轮海有一年了!! 哈哈! 透过他们我认识了阿姆, 筱玄, kareen, Jac - 那时候觉得偶像还有这种能力真的佷厉害!! 但也很高兴认识他们!! :)

这九个月来可说是发生了很多的事情. 其中有大大小小的变化, 当然有喜有乐! 哭过, 疯过也笑过!!

cannot take it, the rate that i am typing using chinese is slower than the rate that my thoughts are running and even slower than the rate that i would write in chinese..so switch!!

there are many things that happened in the nine months since the beginning of this year. of cos when you look at 偶像like 飞轮海- you see how much they have grown and how they have changed but seriously they are not people who are by your side- just that their songs and their shows helped you through some ot the times in your life that you just want to escape from reality and all the shows became an avenue for you to do that. when i watch shows and read books- i become an audience as if i am right there on the set itself. as i look back on this nine months, there were so many things that happened..i changed CG 3 times and it is finally settled now with N397!! :) i celebrated my 21st birthday, i went through and graduated from bible school, i became a CGL, i went for my first mission trip which is also my first trip to indonesia and there are so many many more things..

there are times that i dint think that i would be able to make it, almost throw in the towel and telling ian that i dont think that i am cut out to be a leader..and that sms i typed out and was about to send to him but i dint becos i know that i cant send that to him..there are times when i cry myself to sleep becos i felt so hopeless about my situation and finally when there was a chance for change i took it at the very first moment. i heave a sigh of relief though i know that i shldnt be feeling that way but God definitely have other plans in store for me. i may not be any better now than i was before but i know that i am happier now...

i also began to take a look at the people around me..there are people who totally moved themselves in my friends list and there are people who really made me felt so sad and disappointed but there were those who were always there and accepted me despite my weaknesses. all i can say is that i am not perfect and please do not expect me to be..becos i know that i would never be but i am trying and i am trying very hard..not becos i want to be someone that people want me to be but becos i know that there are things that i can improve on..you know its hard..its a painful process..then i was reminded that God dont just make us better but give us opportunity to learn to overcome and be better..(look at 夏天 in 终极一家..he got to learn to control 鬼龙 and it is not just sth that he can gain overnight!)

i begin to take a look at life and a look at love..i realised that i cannot love unless i experience it for myself. not love in the sense of what most people is thinking about but simply every kind of love from family to friends and of cos of God's love. what is love all about? you know it when you experience it..sometimes it is not expressed through the things that we do becos we asians are not the best demostrators of love..but there are certain actions that demostrates love..life- as i sat there at the last 2 days of SOT i begin to take a look at my life. am i doing enough? people always say that i am busy? but what am i busy doing? what are the things that i am involved in? can i do more with my life? i have one life to live and at the end of the day, i want to say that it is the kind of life that i have no regrets in and one where there is nothing more that i can do better or tried harder..living a life of no regrets!

i have learnt alot, i have seen alot and i have experience alot..i began to realise how much my dad loves me and all the things that he has done and is still doing for me..i have seen how God is faithful and He is always there..i have discovered who are the people who have been and are always around me..its has not been the most calm habour and i know that the open sea wouldnt be too calm either..i just hope and i just pray that i have the tenacity to go through it all..and perhaps like what Nick Vujicic says: not on our own strength but on the strength that is given from above!! my strength is made perfect in my weakness...

thank God for N397 and everyone in it (and who is to come!)- let's grow together k??
i know that there are things that we are still not good in, there are some who are still left out sometimes, there are things that i am not good in though i know that i can be better..BUT i also know that there are things that we are good in and i also know that there is great potential within us!! :) let's step into the destiny that God has for us all!

thank God for SOT Team 10 for a great experience and time in SOT..let's continue to do great things for God as we set sail out from the CHBTC harbour.

thank God for sending people to encourage and see me through the storms of my life. you know who you are and how you have helped me.

thank God for my daddy who is always quietly doing so many things for me. for making the effort to go for my SOT graduation when i know that you really dont want to go for it..for always making the effort to drive and fetch me..thanks!!

thank God for the time in SOT which has been a season where the word and presence everyday had always been timely and in season to bring me through!

thank God for Himself who has always been there and always been a pillar of strength! i love you Lord!!! :)

been a long post..shall go and enourage myself in the Lord! :)
OLDER | NEWER