I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your word Lord, I'll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep

And I remember
How You found me
In that very same place
All my failings
Surely would have drowned me
But still You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life
Here in my life

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds the
Way to freedom
Truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life

And I remember how You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was
Your beloved for me
Still You made a way

: : Here In My Life : : Hillsongs United : :

John 21

3 Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.”They said to him, “We are going with you also.” They went out and immediately got into the boat, and that night they caught nothing.


7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea.

8 But the other disciples came in the little boat (for they were not far from land, but about two hundred cubits), dragging the net with fish.

Jesus Restores Peter
15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”

16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”

17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.

18 Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.”

19 This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.”

***

Seriously if you were to ask me how am i feeling- i woudl tell you still not too good. i think that this is probably going to take some more time. But really am very blessed by the Here in My Life song. Listening to it really bring me to my knees once again and also it really really reminded me that indeed that all my failings surely would have drowned me, yet it is not i who love but He who live in me. There are many other things that has to be learnt and that is what life is all about. there are times that you trip and fall- but you pick yourself up and you walk all over again.

I am always touched and bless by the story of Simon Peter- it is as if this is my own story. i began to read John 21 all over again- you begin to realise the things that Peter went through. First, there are internal turmoils that Peter was going through- He was the one who denied Jesus, He was the one the let Jesus down. Imagine the things that were racing through His mind.

tired- will continue tml. 清晨的微风
如此的平凡
看似简单
雾气驱散
温柔阳光中
慢慢醒了过
来准备面对挑战

在新的世纪
该抛开过去
是好是坏
要放得开
往梦想的路
没有想像简单
我还要更勇敢

回忆就像漩涡
它将我拉走
时间的钟响起
我不该逗留

Fly Away
不管流下多少眼泪
坚持下去的动力还在
Nothing I will be afraid
Fly away
不管未来有多困难
我仍然能感觉心跳还在
Nothing i will be afraid

: : Fly Away : : F.I.R. : :

The sun shone brightly on the walkway outside. Yet, the wind blew hard against the window, this was the kind of weather that she hated the most. The irony and the contradiction that she could not grasp with. The sun was too bright for her liking, the wind blowing so strong that it not only beat against the window but also on the walls of her heart.

She sat there right next to the window on her favourite seat, looking down at the streets where people would walk pass each day on their way to work or to school. Today, she had chosen to withdraw from the mandane daily life, hoping that she could take a moment to think and reflect on her life and on what had happened. Perhaps, it would be a better way to deal with herself than to handle the stares of people on the streets.

Putting down the glass that she had been holding, she looked through the window, staring past the crowd that was throning the streets. She felt comforted to be out of the crowd and be in the comfort of her own room. Her parents had left for work and she was glad for the peace and alone moments that she was able to steal away from her friends and school.

The autumn sun had rose and the rays were shinning into her eyes, they were a little irritating but her eyes soon adjusted to the brightness of the rays. Yet, her heart was still taking time to adjust to the pain that had pierced through to the deepest of her soul. She felt tears well up in her eyes once again, she fought to keep back the tears though she know that there is no need for her to do that.

In the tranquility and comfort of her own room, she sat there like a little child waiting for something to happen. Minutes passed like seconds and hours passed like minutes. The whole day was gone before she knew it. As a breeze suddenly and gently blew past her face, she heard a voice as though there was someone in the room with her.

"My Dear, that which does not crush you just make you stronger."

She turned her head, hoping to catch a glance of the person who said that, to snap out of the trance, remembering that she is the only one in the room. "Hopefully" she told herself, "that time would erase the pain and wash it away." It seemed to her that it is a secret formula that only time knew.

She got out of the seat that she had spent most of the day, turning into the showers hoping to wash away this sorrowful feeling and to face life once again. But she knew that the pain could not be wash away by any amount of water. But she knew that life still goes on just like the earth would keep spinning.

"That which does not crush you just make you stronger." She told herself to remember that.

With that thought in mind, she turned on the shower and allow the water to wash over her and indulged in the momentary joy and comfort.

***

What Adalia Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

For some strange reason- i dont think that this analysis is entirely wrong.
we went to WA (you are supposed to say wah!- just kidding!!) aka Wuian's house today to make the easter gift and also to pray for the upcoming easter.

the atmosphere just hung dead in the air- its like there is a cloud of heaviness that is weighing me down. Perhaps, it was the realisation of the even that took place which i found out in the afternoon or maybe there is just an air of spiritual warfare that is going on.

Whatever that it may be- either overcome it or it will forever be a thorn in the flesh. live is full of decisions that you have to make. whether it is painful or not, the main point is whether it is the RIGHT thing to do.

Easter has always been a tough going period but believing for breakthrough and a great time! keep on keeping on and speak into your situation and circumstance- do not believe in the lies of the enemy! Just now we were on the train and we were just looking at the photos and we decided to look for the photos that we took together after each haircut that we have and we found really quite a few. They are not in sequence of the timeline:

This is the one of the oldest that we have i think- its dec 2006..and that day i HAD to go to clementi and colour my hair brown cos it looked like rotten veg cos it was GREEN!! so laopo went with me and she cut her hair too. NOTE: my hair was LONG-er then..

the rest are really not in sequence already..

This was when we went to Kimage and i think Jieying were with us too. then after that we went to expo for some event in the evening- cant really remember what it was though.

This was went we went to T3 open house- not sure if we cut our hair just before that but i think shld be not that long ago..hahah

Can remember when this was taken but this was taken outside the OG at chinatown.

This is in the Monsoon studio- we both quite like the hairstyle. Jun's was done by May and mine was done by XuDi. and Joelle was with us that time too!! (: then we went to Bugis to makan at that hawker behind Bugis Street.

This is one of the latest- i think it was before Chinese New year after i came back from Bangkok. But its not the latest..the latest one was when we just went for haircut then i had to rush off to school and jun had to go riverwalk for powerhouse so we dint take photo that day.

this is new year eve 2007. Jun cut her hair too but somehow there was no photos taken together.

Oh yah..and perez realised a trend in our photos: that for some reason i am always on the right side and jun is always on the left (for most anyway..hahahha)

CONCLUSION: we cut hair quite often right? lols..cannot help it larh..my hair grows like nobody's business. but i miss my long hair leh!! i wanna grow it back!! i esp like this hair long time ago:

i saw ali's long hair during the weekend services and felt like going for hair extension but its expensive. its $1 per strand of hair- adding up to about $200 for the whole head. Man, cannot afford that- still in the midst of arise and build larh!! i think that i shall just let it grow naturally.

to Ping: i think if we have digi-cam in primary school we will have a whole lot of our cam whore- sorry this is so random!! lols..but i realised that we all take alot of photos leh- just not really with each other..hahaha..can you image if we are in the same school?? lols.

almost forgot the reason for blogging today! Laopo wants a list of things- my wishlist for my *ahem* birthday. heheheh *grinne*
But seriously, cant think of much that people can get for me cos all quite ex de..so shall either do without them or wait till i save up to get them myself- or can psycho my dad to get them for me! hehehhee..but i do need a BAG and laopo is getting that!! yeah!! Since i just got my new Havianas that look like this:

i dont really need shoes either. so really its left with those ex ex stuff!! lols.. so until i can think of any others, i want(not in order of importance):

1. Digi-cam
2. Guitar
3. Handphone
4. PSP
5. New laptop
6. Jewel Perfume by Alfred Sung
7. Guess Wallet (the not long not short kind..hahahah)
8. Jacket
9. N397 to grow (for my CG *ahem*)
10. Contribute to my going to taiwan and going to Aussie fund! lols.

and No, Max- my wishlist does not include a boyfriend. hahahhaha..

So, you can see that my wishlist are all quite unachievable. but while that is the case- cash is welcomed! and nice cards are welcomed as well!! lols..seriously, some stuff money just cant buy but they are much more precious than the material stuff.

***

it just dawned on me that this is week 10!!!! you understand the implications of that?? means that this sem is coming to an end and i have tons of projects that are due soon. man- why does time always zoom by??

but before i start to worry about that- there is EASTER CELEBRATIONS this weekend happening at the Singapore Expo and Jurong West. and YOU are invited to join me as we take a trip down memory lane to explore the events that happened in our lives at the Singapore Expo's i-ming and Jurong West Second Chances. You know my no.- just gimme a call or text if you can make it!! (:

今天　
寂寞感觉忽然又出现
浮现
过去梦中的画面
哭泣　
因为不想伪装悲伤那一面
当你头也不回离开北极圈

有谁能为我　
捡起了伤痛　
洒向了海中　
能重新再来过

我不要听借口　
我只想一人走掉
把泪留在街角　
我不过希望你会听到
爱情化作　
一片片冰雪单调
不用你多说　
我现在通通都暸

我不要求什么　
我只想不被打扰
把爱留在街角　
就当你永远不会看到
记忆化作　
极光出现那一秒
我开始微笑　
以后会努力过得　
很好

:: 北极圈 :: F.I.R. ::

this song has different titles in the different sources that i checked- i think i go and ask edmond when i remember for the correct version.

anyway, its a very xiong week- i have 3 presentations due this week and i gotta do up the surveys for all the projects and tons of readings to catch up on. then again, who doesnt have all these things to do at this stage of the semester. its a vicious cycle- the never-ending work and the other things that has to be done. Yet, the difference is that we still have to prepare for outreach, easter, retention and a million other things to handle. HOWEVER, thank God that we are not in this alone but we have a Helper to help us make it through all these!!

one of my favourite stories of all time:

Footprints in the Sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.


Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.


When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."


The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

- By: Mary Stevenson

another of my favourite illustration:

The Difference

I got up early one morning
and rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish
that I didn't have time to pray.


Problems just tumbled about me,
and heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.

He answered, "You didn't ask."


I wanted to see joy and beauty,
but the day toiled on, gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn't show me.

He said, "But you didn't seek."


I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,

"My child, you didn't knock."


I woke up early this morning,
and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray.

****
alot of times, we think about the things that we have got to do on top of the things that our friends have to do. Yet, i cant imagine a life that is without all these "extra" things to do. in fact, it is so part of my life that i would feel empty without them. Was talking to Don and indeed the joy of the Lord is our strength. and like what pastor shared with us the last 2 weeks about servanthood- this is what we got to do. the rest- we lift it up to Him.

the busyness would probably last all the way till the exams are over. The things and the mountains seems tall. but it looks better when you tear them apart and deal with them one at a time.

Lord, gimme your strength to go through the rest of this week.

Note to self:
things to do for tml:
1. Presentation for transnational
2. Organisational behaviour presentation and report
3. Health communications presentation
4. finalise survey questions for ISM
5. Finalise survey questions for organisational behaviour
6. send liyun consent form for blood donation
7. prepare for fellowship on friday
8.
9.
10.
11.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#n. Sleep ALRIGHT, I AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

call me childish or whatever!! i just had enough of this nonsense last min thing that i am supposed to be updated with but since i havent touched the comp over the weekend and i have ZERO idea about it and hence i have to make myself available and to do whatever that is required of me..

yes yes, pastor talked about servanthood and i WILL get things done ok? just that this really gets on my nerve!!!! and i just need to vent it out!!!

technology has advanced so much that people dont communicate through sms anymore but through emails and other online technology- perhaps we all need to go and get a blackberry huh? i think that they just launched a PINK one for women! arrgh.

RANT RANT RANT!!!

i know that ranting doesnt make my life any better but this have to be out somehow!!!

RANT!!!!!!!!!!! oh God help me!!! gosh, i feel like a spoilt 3 year old kid! arrgh!!!childish but seriously right this very moment at 4.33am in the morning- i dont care! He broke your heart
He took your soul
You're hurt inside
Because there's a hole
You need some time
To be alone
Then you will find
What you always know

I'm the one who really loves you baby
I've been knocking at your door

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

I've seen you cry
Into the night
I feel your pain
Can I make it right
I realized there's no end inside

Yet still I'll wait
For you to see the light


You are my only I've ever known
That makes me feel this way
Couldn't on my own
I want to be with you until we're old

You have the love you need right in front of you
Please come home

As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
Whenever you need me, I'll be there

:: I'll Be Waiting :: Lenny Kravitz ::

The theme song from L changed the world. this is really quite a song if you look at the magnitude of the love that is included in this song. Its a great promise to say that you will be waiting- cos there will be times that you wouldnt feel like waiting anymore. there will be times that you will be thinking what's the point behind it all- does the person whom you are waiting for appreciate that which you are doing?

i was reading the hana kimi manga (haha) and there was this part about the mom of nakatsu's issue then nanba mom said something- that no matter what the she would be waiting for the child to come back to her despite all that has happen.

We were just talking about family a few weeks back. That was what i was talking about- that you can go out into the world and get yourself all hurt and wounded- yet you can always come home. Though we make not contact or always hang out- but you know that there is a place that you can come back to and that is home. and hey, i am your family. No matter what you have been through or how things have change, know something- I'll be waiting. A hundred days have made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me (yeah)

The miles just keep rolling, as the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope that it gets better as we go (ooh yeah yeah)

Everything I know and anywhere I go (yeah)
It gets hard but it won't take away (yeah yeah yeah) my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love (ooh ooh ooh)

:: Here Without You :: Three Doors Down ::

Tonight is a listen-to-english-songs night so i scanned through my songs and came up with different english songs that i have in my iTunes- though more limited but there are still quite alot but 杨宗纬 songs are not bad too! hehe..Music is a large part of my life though i dont play or write them- i might get to do it someday: to learn an instrument and to write a song. but for now- i'll just listen to them! (:

i think that music is a very beautiful engine to bring across your thoughts and emotions- and it has the ability to draw you away into a totally different world.

***

In this world, we would need someone to listen to us, to listen to what you have got to say and what you are going through- though half the time you dont really need an advise of any sort but you just need a shoulder to cry on, someone whom you can rely on. If you are able to find someone like that, you are blessed beyond words. But what if you cant find someone like this? It takes someone who is selfless to be there for you and to be there doing nothing but to listen to you and just to be there for you physically. Not everyone is able to find a friend like this- so do we sit ard and feel sorry for ourselves? then we fall straight into the deception of the enemy. Pick yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself becos this is a mere pathetic thing to do. We run away from the best audience whom we can ever get and then walk into a place where we mourn and feel sorry for ourselves- it is enough- believe in who you are and get out of this pity party- its time to move on and believe for greater things ahead.

- NOT referring to anyone in particular- in case anyone is wondering. Just a thought that passed through my mind at this very instance. The Leap Years


"It's not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves" -William Shakespeare

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous" -Albert Einstein

"In three words I can sum up what I learnt in life: It goes on" -Robert Frost

"If you are not too long, I will wait for you all my life" -Oscar Wilde

***

"Its better to have loved and lost than never have loved before."

caught this show on 29 Feb 08- special added meaning to the show doesnt it? its a love story- a complicated one. make it very complicated! its a love story but not just yet ANOTHER lovce story. There are some shows that you will watch and forget but there are some shows that there will be something that you will be carrying with you even after that. I remember one of the scenes in the show that made me teared was not the boy-girl love story scene but the one where dyllan and Li-ann (Joan Chen) reconcile- that really touched me quite abit.

a love story that spans 24 years- that is a long time. when the world around you is only concerned about getting together and then a few months later you hear about a new someone- that make this movie stand out among the crowd.

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

funny how when you just decide on something- then fate plays a trick on you and remind you of the very thing that you want to take your attention away from.

***

Today is another HAPPY day! (: Okay! its a HAPPY day so i shall blog!! heheh!!

really happy cos this week we have a breakthrough in attendance for service *claps hands* and *gives a round of applause to everyone in n397* thanks guys for all the hard work!! let's continue to pray, fast and hunger for a greater move of God!!

沁：
我喜欢你的眼神温柔又危险
请不要戴上眼镜我会看不见
想要张开双手把你宝贝
想和你天天见面
想带你环游世界

飞：
我喜欢你爱逞强苯苯的笑脸
在心中抬头挺胸坚定的信念
这个辽阔世界不够完美
但有了你在我身边什么都很OK

(合唱)
第一个心愿 為你 把幸福 堆积
天涯到海角 头发到呼吸
第二个心愿 给你 最好的 自己
再许个心愿 我的爱把你占领
哦~~~

沁：
為什么為了小事就要掉眼泪
好象有太多的事只能自己背
其实只要你说一句OK
现在就立刻马上变成你的superman

飞：
这世上最重要的不止是誓言
只要你常常记得亲亲我的脸
我会永远记得这个今天
还有很久的那一天我也要有你陪

:: 三个心愿 :: F.I.R ::

This weekend- had the honour to hear Faye and Ah Qing sing during the weekend services and this is a really cute duet that we all like alot. Really blessed by how they're living their lives and i MUST say this Faye is REALLY VERY NICE and friendly. Liked them since the first album but i dont think that they are in Singapore much so dint really hear about their promotion and all, but liked their songs! and after this i tell you- gonna support them- i like artistes who really nice and Faye and Real are really nice!! no airs at all!! (:
- Shall upload the photos another day! (: got their autograph!! (:

Jesus, Lover of my Soul
Jesus, I will never let You go
You've taken me from the miry clay
Set my feet upon the rock
And now i know

I love You,
I Need You
Though my world may fall,
I'll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend
I will worship You until the very end

:: Jesus, Lover of my Soul :: Hillsong United ::

I am reminded of this song during the weekend services this week. away with "generation gap"- music has no boundaries..This old song but really meaningful. alot of times we forgot about the person behind all that we are doing what we are doing and we become so caught up in our serving and shinning that we forgot the reason behind it. If all things were to be taken away would we still be doing all that we are doing?

this week, i hear the life story of Faye and Real and also of Dr Francis Seow and the Indonesia Pastor and i am so blessed. Really, alot of times we think that we are busy but feel that it is really time for me to evaluate about my life and where i am spending my time. these are such busy people yet they are doing so much more than i am. i think that i can afford to serve God in a greater capacity before i step out into the workforce the next year. and indeed, its all about Servanthood- like what they taught us in SA- Every Saint a Servant Leader. I dint give it too much of a thought in the past but looking back, i think that SA has taught me things that i am still carrying with me today to the places that i am in.

i remember a post previously about feeling happy- when was the last time that we are truly happy. I discovered it today. i truly felt very happy today- the jamming and just hanging out with the members! i want more of that and i know that this is what God has called me to do! i will hang on!
OLDER | NEWER