我多High你都陪我疯
我耍冷你笑到头痛
我倔强难过不讲但你懂

一句话就帮我想通
一拥抱感动不言中
一相信未知的潜力都汹涌

你欢呼分享我奋力一搏的光荣
你拍手提醒我不停作梦
别怕白日梦

你将心比心是最佳听众
你给的建议总超级有用
在紧要关头
要比恋人还更体谅我
你保守秘密是最佳听众
你讲的实话能逼我振作
很少说谢谢
但我爱你就像你爱我

在半夜找你去打球
大雨里骑车去兜风
我失恋她能是我的朋友

太臭屁你会把我头
太压抑你在我也有
太伤心你毫不留情的哄我

: : 最佳听众 : : 飞轮海 : :

i hate it when i am totally not task-orientated and all that i want to do is not to do anything, it makes my life totally direction-less and not in line with the timings and schedules that you know that you have to follow. BUT　ｔｈｅｒｅ　ａｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｍｏｍｅｎｔｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｗｈｅｒｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｄｏｎｔ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｄｏｉｎｇ　ａｎｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｐｏｓｔｐｏｎｅ　ａｌｌ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｄｏ　ｂａｃｋ　ｃｏｓ ｙｏｕ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｎｏｔ　ｔｈｅ　ａｍｏｕｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｐｅｎｄ　ｏｎ　ｉｔ　ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｅｆｆｏｒｔｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｐｌａｃｅ　ｏｎ　ｉｔ.

I totally loved the fact that i get to go away for a few days just to relax but seriously, how relaxed can you be when all that is in your mind is the pile of work that awaits you when you come back? going away simply means that you have less time for more work. Sounds scary right?

During the journey from Cameron to KL, i watched Nanny Dairies. It reminded me of this one thing that i know that i have to face sooner or later- what do i really want to do? Who exactly am i? I thought about the things that i want to do- are they necessary what i am cut out for? I am non too apprensive about the future that is laid out ahead. I know that we are supposed to be recession proof but truths and facts in reality doesnt point towards that and i guess that is where faith but seeing your classmates going for interviews after interviews.

alright, i am falling aslp..so go slp first... COUNTING DOWN 3hours before i will reach the malaysian border!!

I spent the day clearing up my room and the house and also to finish up some work and also to go and get money from shujun who nicely helped me to exchange the money and also to get a haircut and a trip to IKEA and to settle the household bills- not bad for a day's worth of work.

This break come in handy and just in time before i head for a emotional and nervous breakdown. Last week was a total terror- projects, presenations and tests and lots of other stuff like talking to members and all but basically school work was enough to kill me BUT i am not killed, i am still here- so i survived.

Friday was the ultimate stressed day, i woke up with a pressing need to study for sat's paper but my mind was already off to holidays and i was really spaced out. Went for a swim, came back sent out the notes for 5204 project and replied emails and off to give Daniel tuition so that today i dont need to rush to give him tuition before heading over to give Yanzhi BS and then over to CGM. But i must say, CGM was not only good for members but i was really glad to be there also, i could sense and feel my whole person relaxed when i was practicing with Max and when i see everyone there. I think that is the power of fellowship and spending time in the presence of God!! thanks to you guys who make it such a great time for me. Fellowshipping and dinner caused me great distressed AFTER that when i reach home, realising that i have 5 long chapters to cover but everything went well on Sat. Cam-whore after service with some of the members!!! I love just spending time with members, fellowshipping- they make my day!! :)

I guess, that is why, we are doing what we are doing!!!

Thank you God that my week ended well and thank you for everything!!! Love you and i love N397!!!

I'll see you guys when i am back!!! :)

Love and Hugs... seriously, NOTHING IS GOING iNTO MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone help me please!!!! gosh..i am sitting here and the lecturer's words just like go in from one side and out from another is not registered with the registration counter of my brain!!!!

I always wake up on thurs feeling very stressed- seems like i reach that day of the week that i feel that so much time had passed and the week is almost gone and i had not done anything!!!! arrgh!!! i saw this on facebook and monaqx's blog, quite interesting and i cant stop laughing when i saw monaqx's blog one. its really funny and nonsense!! but while my stomach is churning for some strange reason, i shall do this:

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
大男人- 刘德华
Hmmm..i dont think so larh..i am not such a sadistic person lorh..*ponders*

2) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
白色婚礼- Peggy Xu
How does that translate into your feelings? Sad? Tired? Disappointed? Hmmm..maybe that is true for some stuff, its been a long day today with all the presentations not going well and stuff...

3) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Nostradamus- Maksim Mrvica
I dont even know what that means larh..gosh and i had to google it..and here is what wikipedia says:

Michel de Nostredame (14 December or 21 December 1503 – 2 July 1566), usually Latinized to Nostradamus, was a French apothecary and reputed seer who published collections of prophecies that have since become famous worldwide. He is best known for his book Les Propheties (The Prophecies), the first edition of which appeared in 1555. Since the publication of this book, which has rarely been out of print since his death, Nostradamus has attracted an enthusiastic following who, along with the popular press, credits him with predicting many major world events.

Hmmm..that means that my life's purpose is to be a prophet?? hmmm..i dont intend to do that man!! lols..

4) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
吻- Elva 萧亚轩
wahahahha..to kiss people?? Greet one another with a Holy Kiss..hahahhaha..who is in need of love today?? hahahha

5) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Contest- Sweeney Todd OST
They think of me as a contest and a threat?? maybe?? lol..go ask them!!! hahahahha

6) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I Will Bless The Lord- True Worshippers
I certainly hope that this is the thing that i think about very often. Sometimes i think not enough!! lols.. (this is not too bad for an answer!! Hhahahha)

7) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Got None- Robert Post
hahahha..i got none for someone whom i can call best friend?? hmmm..let me think about that- i think that i have too many best friends larh..so this make sense in a way?? strange way?? ahhahaha

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Your Song- Elton John
Hee..it will be quite sweet right? He will be my song!! heheee *sweets* wahahhahahahhahahha..

9) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Learning to Breathe- Switchfoot
wah..i am starting to think that the answers are all jinx!!! lols..i guess that this is true to a certain extend, the things that i want and hope to accomplish, sometimes there are so much that i cant breathe and there are times that they are just so overwhelming that i dont know how to deal with them. So, i guess this is not TOO wrong..hahhahaha
(I thought that i have alot of chinese songs? not turning up in this quiz..hahahha)

10) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
只欠一句我爱你- 唐禹哲
First, i think that i am grown up already. So, am i supposed to find someone and tell that person 我爱你 or am i supposed to find someone who is going to tell me 我爱你?? hahahhahahhaa
(speaking of the chinese songs not popping up!!!)
anyway, the song went on to say that i got to tell "that" someone 我爱你!! hahahhah..gone case larh this thing..

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Slide- Goo Goo Dolls
hahahha..that my heart will do a slide and a double flip flop?? hahahhahah..what is this man?? hahahah..

12) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Always Open- S.H.E & 飞轮海
oh wells, this is not too wrong (thank God that this song came up at this context), i am pretty open with my dad about my life and all!!! hahahah..so this is true and i hope that my dad think this way..hee..

13) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
让我爱你- 周俞明 & 大S
*sweets* not a bad song to dance to at my wedding (though i am not a all-time fan of this song after listening to it too many times when my friends like to sing this song at the KTV!!!) but its nice!! heee :)

14) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
轉機 (粵語版)- 潘玮柏
轉機- means change of flight. hahahaha..i guess this is true as well, i changed my flight and took a flight to heaven!!! hahahhahahahahahahahahahha

15) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
也許有一天- JS
Daydream about how things can be better or would be like? Visualise? not a bad answer cos i think that i do that quite often, like try to image how like events is going to take place, how i am going to talk to someone about certain things, how the presentation is going to be like. BUT they usually dont turn out as i imaged. *sigh*

16) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
独家记忆- 陈小春
EH..that is very sweet ok..i think that my friends are my special memories and a special part of my life..true true..see, i am so nice!!! lol..

17) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
最佳聽眾- 飞轮海
Eh..dont know how this will link to the question leh..why would having a best audience be the worse thing that can happen?

18) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
London Bridge- Fergie
Oh man, if i am like what the above say about my life's vision- to be a prophet, perhaps you guys should stop me from going to London Bridge man!!! later can sing London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..gosh but i do wanna go UK leh!!! sigh...gosh

19) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
生存以上 生活以下- 五月天
Hmmm..meaning that i regret living a mediocre life? i think so, i think that i had been an average person, an average student, an average all my life and yearh, i always say that this is something that i regret!! hahahaha

20) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
吴克群- 吴克群
This one also correct leh..cos i always laugh at this song!!! ahhhahahhaha..anyone shld go and listen to this song!! hahahahha

21) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
再别康桥- S.H.E
Saying goodbye?? true also, hahahhaha..i hate goodbyes and i hate deaths and partings. Everytime there is someone who dies in a story, a movie a show or when there are partings i WILL CRY!!! okok..i know that no one is going to believe that but i do cry especially when someone dies..gosh!!!

22) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
又一年又三年- 品冠
I was very scared what this answer will be man!!!!!!! so it means that i have to wait and wait and wait??? *sobz* 4 years?? at least there is an end to the wait..4 years means i would be 27 years..ok larh..not that bad!!! hahahhah...

23) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Morning Hymn And Alleluia- Sound of Music OST
Hmmm..i must be politically correct but if you ask me to do that morning hymn thing, i think that it would probably scare me to a certain extend!!! hahahhaa

24) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Love For A Child- Jason Marz
Happy and sad- Happy cos i know that there are many people like GOD!!! my daddy and my loved ones all love me and like me cos they have love for a child. Sad cos no one else like me and love me except for my family!!! am i that bad a person??? *faints*

25) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
天使战将- 刘畊宏
Act of the angel? you mean this whole thing is an "angelic" intervention?? ahhahahhahahhaha

**
Oh wells, do it if you feel bored and i am off to bed before waking to do readings in the morning.

Gosh, i hope all the things that are going on would just die down soon- they are driving me STRESSED..i need to expand to be able to handle more stuff man!!!! 6 days away to my getaway to *ahem* Malaysia but this time i am going to a place that i had never been to before- Cameron Highlands (yes, i know larh..abit like frog in the well!!) but seriously my mind has already flooded there after i paid for my tickets and hotels- gosh but i still have to survive another week before i can set off!!

We will be setting out on Sunday night after the hype of the week and service (which pastor is going to be preaching PART 3 of the series..) and going for tuition and finishing up my assignment for Yen before i can go and enjoy a short 3N2D trip and get back by Wednesday morning for camp meeting.

That is the map of Cameron Highlands and we are staying at Hotel Equatorial which is one of the sounds more ok budget hotel that is located at one of the highest points there! woah hoo..so we will be quite high up..the altitude measures 1,628m above sea levels!!! that is like dont know how many times higher than bukit timah hill! hahahah.

I seriously hope that the hotel is good- that is very important when you are travelling, imagine you end up at some lousy hotel. But i hope that the next trip i can venture out of malaysia larh!! hahah..though i really dont mind going to Penang also. Hee..that is the next place in Malaysia that i am going to go- Daddy mentioned it so many times but we never get to go there at all YET! It shall materialise this year! :)

Anyway, Some of the place that i am planning for are:
1. Time Tunnel
2. Boh Tea Plantation
3. Strawberry Farm
4. Mountain Hiking (Rui are you up for this? hahah)
5. Steamboat Dinner

KL leg for shopping
1. Times Square
2. Sungai Wang
3. KLCC

i am still planning for the itinerary though, so it will be updated but we would be taking a day trip for some shopping on the way back at KL and thereafter catch the last possible bus back to Singapore at 1045pm on tues night and arrive back on Wed morning for breakfast and going for meeting.

***
Ok larh..i still got 30 more pages of reading to go before my meeting at 3pm..so back to reading.

***

sometimes i wonder when is a decision/ thing a word from God and when is it not? Many people have told me before that when God speaks to you, it will not contradict what the Bible tells you (otherwise God would be contradicting Himself right?).

I came to the conclusion for another point: Not all decisions are "God" in a sense- cos God gave us all free-will right? So, there are some things that we dont need to drag God into the picture and become super "flaky" (eat too much cornflakes arh!!) about it- you are the one who made the decision not God, take responsibility and dont always say God spoke (He would be quite busy right if He speak to us about everything. "God what should i eat for lunch?" - can you imagine that? hahaha).

Ok, on top of that, unless it is an occasion that God specifically want you to make a stand for Him and your Faith, most of the time the God-centered decision I THINK (i think ok- not what God think, not what it is supposed to be or whatsoever!) is one that will not hurt the people around you.

What do you think? Is this right or am i wrong?

some stuff i found while preparing for the sermon for CGM:

HUGS

This is quite interesting:

HOW TO HUG
Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good. In his book Caring, Feeling, Touching, Dr Sidney Simon describes five non-hugs:
I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers' heads touch.
2. The half-hug, where the huggers' upper bodies touch—while the other half twists away.
3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.
4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.
5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.
The real thing (FOR COUPLES LARH!!), the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr Simon describes it like this: "The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug... You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give... With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.

(WOAH!!)

More Interesting Stuff:

Various experiments have shown that touch can: - make us feel better about ourselves and our surroundings
- have a positive effect in a child's development and IQ
- cause measurable physiological changes in the touchers and the touched
The Power of Hugging
Hugging accomplishes many things that you may never have thought of. It ... - feels good
- dispels loneliness
- overcomes fear
- opens doors to feelings
- builds self-esteem (WOW, SHE actually wants to hug me!)
- fosters altruism
- slows down aging!!! (huggers stay young longer)
- helps curb appetite!!! (we eat less when we are nourished by hugs and when our arms are busy wrapped around others) - NOT A BAD IDEA!!! hahahha

More Good Things from Hugging
- eases tension
- fights insomnia
- keeps arms and shoulder muscles in condition
- provides stretching exercise if you are short
- provides stooping exercise if you are tall
- offers a wholesome alternative to promiscuity
- offers a healthy, safe alternative to alcohol and other drug abuse (better hugs than drugs!)
- affirms physical being
- is democratic (anyone is eligible for a hug)
Even More Benefits from Hugging- is ecologically sound (it does not upset the environment)
- is energy-efficient (saves heat)
- is portable
- requires no special equipment
- demands no special setting (a fine place for a hug is any place from a doorstep to an executive conference room ... from a church parlor to a football field)
- makes happy days happier
- imparts feelings of belonging
- fills up empty places in our lives
- keeps on working to dispense benefits even after the hug is released

Some facts about Hugs:

Scientific Research Has Shown the Following:
Every human being needs:

4 hugs per day merely to survive.
8 hugs per day to maintain oneself at a strong emotional level.
12 hugs per day to grow and become a better person.
For those who aren't always comfortable with the traditional hug, you should at least try one of the other following forms of Hugs: A kind word. A touch. A loving smile. A "Thank you!" A "Forgive me." A "Can I help you?" A "I'm Sorry."
And anything else you can do to make a person feel good about him or herself.

HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE TODAY?? BAD DAY!!! that was the song that perez used to describe my life today. Or you can use the movie title- a series of unfortunate events!!
Woke up at 5plus to prepare to go for prayer meeting, then the following things happened:

1. Eyeliner broke and i cant find it.
2. Realised that Phone's light is spoilt.
3. Realised that i brought my laptop's adaptor out BUT not the laptop!!
4. After Prayer meeting, my bag's strap gave way, but thank God that still got an alternative strap. Decided to go home to change back and grab laptop.
5. Alternative strap also gave way after i alighted from the bus and was walking home.
AND its only 9am!!! so many things happened in 3hours.
6. I napped and i woke up late for 11am class so i had to cab to school!! :(
7. Decided to pamper myself with pedi but i got a new girl that dint really know how to do pedi well and my toe smudged even before i got on the bus to go back to school.
8. Fadz "fotunately" managed to draw the lot to be presenting NEXT WEEK and we had to read a ONE HUNDRED pages readings to do the presentation!!!

BUT it is in the midst of such a bad day that make you appreciate the little act of kindness even more.

well for one, dad say dont need to return him the $60 i borrowed from him!! BUT i spent it on a pair of new heels (i totally loved it!!) and a belt - gotta prepare for career fair and a series of talks coming up larh!!

then Henedick very nicely gave the whole group choc!! nice!! though it was something very small but its nice compared to the bad day!

the nicest thing that happened was Rui taking time to come all the way from Boon Lay to have dinner with me and to bless me with my favourite LILY!! :) and sit there to listen to me for 2 hours, not to mention the shoes shopping with me!! thanks babe!! :) Thank God for friends like this..

and thanks to the different ones who sms to make my day better: Howard, Perez, Peiyun and Shujun!!

and the thought of meeting Ping tml to watch the new andy lau show!! and meeting weiwei for lunch tml!! life is full of little things that you can be happy about!! :)

***

I guess that the best part was the prayer meeting. I was a little late as i dint want to cab down (so much for that!! i cabbed to school thereafter!!) but i reached in time for the personal prayer time and it was so good today!!

As i go for the prayer meeting, i carried some of the unsettled emotions and thoughts that i have been trying to grapple with the past few days. Sometimes your heartache when you begin to think about how because of the decision that people make that cause them to not step into the fullest potential and destiny that God has for them. It doesnt mean that they are no longer in the will of God but its the thought that they would be able to accomplish so much more had they not chose a certain path to take- you just begin to feel so much for the person cos of your concern and love for the person- Rui totally agree with me on this.

Anyway, just as this thought went through my mind, i felt God putting things into perspectives for me. This is the kind of feelings that He experience all the time!!! why so? Everytime a person chose not to do something that God spoke to them about, everytime a person give up just because the future doesnt look too bright, everytime someone decided to take the easier way out, everytime someone went against the Word of God - this person stepped out of the narrow way that lead to the fullest potential and fulfillment that God has for them. They are still in the will of God, they will still accomplish great things but not the FULLEST. At that moment, i felt the pain and the burden that God must have felt but His would be magnified.

Thoughts began to race through my mind, i begin to think about needing to handle different effects and aftermath of things, i begin to think about what i need to do. I realised that i need to learn from God, did He give up on us when we make all those silly choices and mistakes? He dint, instead, He continue to work on us, He continue to work and rise up plan Bs, plan Cs, plan Ds who may not be as talented but has a willing and obedient heart. I thank God that He is a God of second chances and that He uses plan Bs like me!! I realised that i cannot sit and dwell in self-pity and all these negative emotions, instead, i need to turn every disappointment into a new appointment, I need to breakthrough and begin to do even more like never before!! I must help those that i was not able to help previously, i must begin to touch the lives that i dint have the chance to touch perviously. There is a time and season for everything and perhaps that is so for the different ones in my life as well.

I was just reminded of a great person- Howard!! (boss, i really think that you are AMAZING!!) he handles and deal with so many things, yet he excels and deal with everything the best that he can. i must expand my capacity as well, you are inspiring you know? hahahha :)

Everything needs to move at a greater intensity and with greater passion! and I am convinced that I got to be a living and walking example in the time to come!! God willing, it shall come to pass! :)

BREAKTHROUGH is on its way!! :) Focus Liwei Focus!! even when none go with you, you still must follow!! :) 你愛使我甦醒
重新來過
深切渴望能活在你手中
生命跟隨你跳動
夢想因你而啟動
所有一切交給你
毫無保留

讓我為你而活
讓我為你而站立
永不放棄
像你愛我
讓我為你前進
我氣息是你贖回
如今單單屬於你
活出你旨意的生命
改變世界為你轉動

轉動的夢想
實現著希望
我已看見永恆的光芒
光芒在我心上
在世界綻放
讓我為你照亮

: : 讓我為你而活 : : Shock Wave : :

Shock wave is 新店行道會, Pst Wayne's青年牧區- we were wondering where this song came from right? Nothing a little googling cant find! :) Dont you just love the internet?

This song has been running through my mind as it played in my playlist, i just keep repeating the song again and again, time and time again. Its a very simple song, you repeat the lyrics over and over again but it really touched me and helped me this few days.

I feel like crying and just releasing all the emotions, the disappointments, the fears and all the uncertainties that i feel in my heart. Thank God that this week is morning prayer week and the presence of God was just there to minister and encourage. During the morning prayer, i felt that it was easier to enter into the presence, its as if the presence of God just rain down upon you.

A verse(s) of encouragement to me this morning:

1 Cor 3: 6- 17
6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.
7 So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase.
8 Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.
9 For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building.
10 According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it.
11 For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
12 Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw,
13 each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is.
14 If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward.
15 If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
16 Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
17 If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.

The main verse was verse 6. Sometimes you think that you have tried so hard, worked so hard but at the end of the day, you dont see the results, its as if you have toiled all night and caught nothing. At first you become angry and question why is it like that? then you go on and blame yourself- there must be something that you failed to do, as a person, as a leader- that's why things become like that. But that is a lie, cos God has given all of us freewill, we cant impose what we think on other people and we can force people to think the way that we do- which was why there were so many conflicts that were recorded in history. So why did we end up feeling this way? Discouragement is the greatest way to ensure that we fail, why are we discouraged? It is when we lose sight of the greater picture, instead of looking to God and asking Him "how?" we questioned on something that we cannot change and asked "why?" and as we dwell in the thoughts that we have been a failure and the fact that we are just not good enough, we give room to ourselves to not do anything about anything else.

BUT
"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase."

God is the one who is going to give the increase, you may not see it now, YET you will see it in due season.

indeed like the last part of the song:

轉動的夢想
實現著希望
我已看見永恆的光芒
光芒在我心上
在世界綻放
讓我為你照亮

i pray that i would stop focusing on the negative but instead look to the eternal light and the faith and hope that God has given to me. I might have "failed" but it does not mean that i have lost the war, it is just one battle but i can still win the battles ahead.

"讓我為你而活
讓我為你而站立
永不放棄
像你愛我
讓我為你前進

我氣息是你贖回
如今單單屬於你
活出你旨意的生命
改變世界為你轉動"

God, let me live for you and not for the people in my life. Let me stand strong in face of adversity- never giving up no matter what are the setbacks that i face. Instead, let me move forward in spite of all the circumstances. Indeed, my life is saved by you and now it belong to you. Let me life be God centered and bring glory to Your name!!

Maybe this is what i have to go through before i can experience the breakthrough to the next level, i just pray that i dont have to go through this alone but you will send people who will encourage and also stand together with me to see the vision come to pass.

Sorry Ping, the pictures are rip off from your blog- but they are so nice!! heeehee..my bestest friends from my primary school- people are sometimes quite amazed that we can remain as good friends!! :) 12 years le wor!! time really flies right?? Its such a good thing to meet up with people whom you love and care for so much!!


Australia trip MUST become a reality ok?? :) cant wait to travel with you girls and to look for Meisiang in Australia! :)

***

Anyway, i finally did something that i procrastinated for the past 4 years, i went to reinstate my driving account and registered for driving and found myself an instructor!! :) so i am officially going to start taking my lessons and i am taking my advance theory test in March!! finally!! just felt that i have to do this before i graduate and it seems like what i did pleased my aunt and dad (ALOT!!) so they are paying for my driving!! lols..heeeeheeee :)


Looking forward to my first lesson on the 26th when i get back from the Cameron Highlands! :) Yes, malaysia again cos my Taiwan trip kana sabo!!! cos the air ticket the price went up again!! sigh..but before the mid-term break i have 1 more presentation tomorrow and tons of readings and a mid-term test on the 21st!! But it gives me something to look forward to!!


and AUSTRALIA in July!! :) cant wait!! looking forward to it!! :) but before that is Madeline's wedding and Alice's wedding and Zone camp! :)


so many things to do- i want 2009 to be the best year yet- FOCUS!!! :) girl, you gotta be FOCUS!! i like Liv character in the show- FOCUS!! :)

signing off to go do readings and project meeting! :) 旋转木马拼命奔跑
每一步换一程热闹
云霄飞车疯狂转弯
听一声战斗的尖叫

我 只是摩天轮
静静的等谁来到
OH当 她降临怀中
我的心开始孤单的跳

再一圈 再飞一圈就好
她无助眼神 还没有依靠
我多想 伸出双手给她
一个紧紧拥抱 但我做不到

再一圈 再陪陪她就好
让我可以扬起她 沉重的嘴角
不怕她的眼泪 让我的心生锈
有了强大仰后 谁会知道

排队的人总那么多
快乐的人却这么少
奇怪是我只想带她
一起去天空走巡吧

我 如果飞得高
也许她会笑一笑
可我 拼了命向上
结果 却慢慢的往下掉

再一圈 再飞一圈就好
她寂寞手心 在等谁打扰
我宁愿 交换所有给她
一个静静拥抱 哪怕就一秒
再一圈 再陪陪她就好
让我可以记得她头发的味道
就算我走不到 她的天涯海角
这瞬间已足够 天荒地老

: : 孤单摩天轮 : : 飞轮海 : :

my favourite song from the 越来越爱 album. As usual it is a ballad :)

**
Topic for the day:
Would you rather be fat or ugly??

would it be a better thing to be fat or ugly? Think about it- most people would choose to be NONE of the above. Who would want to be in either category right?

The truth is- no matter which of the 2 categories you are in, you are bound to go through lots of social pressure and discrimination and i am SERIOUS. You will think that we live in a civilised world BUT we also live in a world where there is pretty much freedom of speech on this kind of topics (whether they say it in front or behind you is equally bad).

Before you go on and make a comment about someone else, do consider how that person is going to feel hearing that comment- yes, from personal experience and from what i observed. You think that given a choice the person want to be fat or ugly and allow people to laugh at them and point fingers at them and criticise them? Who would want to put themselves through that kind of torture? (for that matter, i never once said that i am not big size or not fat, so dont need to emphasize to me something that i know better than anyone of you out there!) Anyway, most of the times, we dont think twice about commenting about other people, not just on this issue but also on other issues in our lives, in the world around us. We fail to realise that our every comment has an impact on the hearer of the word and the comment. I am not saying that you should hide something or a truth but I think that the person can sense whether you are saying it in love or the lack of it.

I watched Love Matters yesterday and i left the cinema thinking that this is a sad to say rather disappointing film due to the lack of climax in the show but after thinking through it, there are more subtle messages in the film that i think Jack Neo might be trying to put across that i had missed when i was just looking at it at the surface.

1. Case of Benny uploading the Video t Youtube and how it affects Jennifer.
I was thinking that it reflects the case of Tammy (the NYP girl that case) and how technology has an effect on our lives and there are some things that you just shldnt do BUT look at how Benny's action has affected Jennifer's life. It could have caused her her life for all you know and this is AFTER how Benny experienced the effect of Youtube and did he just want to get revenge? Is revenge that sweet after all? There are consequences that is associated with his one action that will affect Jennifer for life- consequence that thankfully in this case was not that bad. But what if her fall had left her handicap for life??

2. Case of Jeremy (that part where he had a "dream" about being castrated or was that real?)
After this morning's social change class (yes, alright i admit that my brain drifted off) but at this one point, it suddenly strike me that perhaps this was a message about being faithful to your partner and the consequences of having too many relationships at the same time.

3. Case of Henry Thia (cant remember his name in the show)
His unfaithfulness caused him the marriage but more importantly the trust of his wife. (i was totally perplexed about the part that he DID NOT get it that it is NOT about him sleeping with an underage girl but the fact that he actually did spend the night with her or the intention to anyway). One thing that the wife said, some thing that is lost will never be replaced or found again.

I think it showed us that for every action that we do, there is a consequence whether we may or may not realise it. Likewise, every decision that you make and every word that you speak will have a consequence not only on your own life but also the lives of the people who is directly affected by it. Life and death lies in the power of your tongue. And your future lies in the decision that you make today. Think about why you want to do that something before you actually go and do it, is it based on what you want in the present? Then what about the future? Is this the right time and the right season to make this decision? No one can stop you if you want to do something or for you to make a decision, you are the one who make that choice. But WHY does someone oppose a decision that you make? I believe not because the person is unreasonable or against you but MOST (i stress that it is most- cos there are irrational people that just dont make sense) of the time it is out of love and cos they see something/ sense something that you do not see because you are too caught up with the emotions that are attached to the issue that you need to address.

***
on another note, one of my favourite chapters in the bible- which may or may not be relevant to the above topic:

Ecclesiastes 3 (Amplified Bible)

1 TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:

2 A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,

3 A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,

4 A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6 A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,

7 A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,

8 A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What profit remains for the worker from his toil?

10 I have seen the painful labor and exertion and miserable business which God has given to the sons of men with which to exercise and busy themselves.

11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to be glad and to get and do good as long as they live;

13 And also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor--it is the gift of God.

14 I know that whatever God does, it endures forever; nothing can be added to it nor anything taken from it. And God does it so that men will [reverently] fear Him [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].

15 That which is now already has been, and that which is to be already has been; and God seeks that which has passed by [so that history repeats itself ].

16 Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice there was wickedness, and that in the place of righteousness wickedness was there also.

17 I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time [appointed] for every matter and purpose and for every work.

18 I said in my heart regarding the subject of the sons of men, God is trying (separating and sifting) them, that they may see that by themselves [under the sun, without God] they are but like beasts.

19 For that which befalls the sons of men befalls beasts; even [in the end] one thing befalls them both. As the one dies, so dies the other. Yes, they all have one breath and spirit, so that a [a]man has no preeminence over a beast; for all is vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility)!

20 All go to one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.

21 Who knows the spirit of man, whether it goes upward, and the spirit of the beast, whether it goes downward to the earth?

22 So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his portion. For who shall bring him back to see what will happen after he is gone?

穿上洋裝看著手錶
時間快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次約會來臨了

金色的陽光灑滿人行
道換了新唇膏把頭髮弄好
要你看到我的好

喜歡看你走路充滿自信　
說話時候你的專注眼神　
溫柔的表情笑容裡的天真　
我相信　
找不到有比你更好的人　
你心裡理想情人是幾分　
是否也會有我的份

好想知道你的100分　
會給怎樣的人　
親愛的你不要再陌生　
增加我戲份　
我想問　
親愛的你把感情升等　
朋友變成情人　
可不可以　
告訴我標準　
不要讓我一直等

聽著那時間滴答的走　
對街的你在點頭好像一個夢　
漸漸　走到我前頭

: : 理想情人 : : 杨丞琳 : : 惡魔在身邊 : :

I realised that i dont have rainie's first album after watching 惡魔在身邊 and trying to locate the song. Finally watched the show over CNY (now you know what i have been doing over the chinese new year!) and yes according to the people around me- i am very lagged!! this show was shown in 2005 so that is 4 years lag!! lols..its the Mike and Rainie first show- i would say that it would be a even nicer show to me had i watched it 4 years ago (cos after that got other shows then the storyline has been diluted and no longer novel!)

Anyway, i was just thinking how all these dramas (esp the Korean ones) gave people unrealistic expectations of their IDEAL other half. I dont think that i fall into this category (though my uni friend very randomly asked me if i am attached and when i told her no, she was rather surprised and asked if its cos i have very high expectations? esp from Korean drama!! i was like....speechless!!) anyway, that proved my point that people do think that girls have unrealistic expectations- but is that really true?? girls, ask yourself and guys- go figure.

something off ruiz blog, her teacher commented that "we should seek to be as androgynous as possible when we communicate, meaning to communicate to another individual as a person, not taking on any gender specific stereotypes."

this is excluding situations whereby people are dating. what was rather astounding to me was her addition that dating is a game and all should play by the rules of it in communicating. or maybe someone should change the rules?

but the thing is, is this really possible? i think that is is NOT to a pretty large extent, sometimes i think all the social pressure that your friends and peers are giving to you can really cause you to "think too much"- this is the conclusion after conversations with girlfriends. Since when do people feel that they need to get attached at 23? Definitely not in Singapore where women are career-minded but after the "talk" with pastor and the many people trying to match-make people, people around are all getting attached and stressed about this issue, its getting rather unhealthy.

Something else off ruiz's blog:

"end of the day, there would always be a 'social pressure' that is present to get into a relationship. in family gatherings, i am pretty used to hearing my aunts asking my older cousins when are they going to get attached or married. among friends, there are talks of personal crushes and also about 'helping' some of those that are still single. but end of the day, when we are on the verge of getting together with a person, is it due to social pressure or is it because we are ready to embrace someone into our lives in a more intimate level?

I hope that we (myself and the people i know) will not get into a relationship cos of social pressure, that would be ultra sad!! Value the relationships that God has placed in your life and i believe in due time, you will meet the right person. as for now, maybe there are just other things to place and focus your attention on! :)

**
The week's been fruitful though i dint not do any chinese new year visitation and there was almost no time lapse and no feeling of holiday so i went back to school not feeling there was any difference. Last semester in NUS, conversation nowadays with people revolve around- so what do you intend to do when you graduate after this semester? Seriously, i have no idea, there are quite alot of things that i can do if i want to but what is something that i really want to do? I must really put more thought into this issue and start looking out for jobs when fellow classmates are going for interviews already. Gosh, i think it is real that without a vision you cant work towards it. There is no goal for me to work towards, i must then find a goal.

Loved Pastor Kong's preaching on God in ancient China for the past 2 weeks. Gave me the faith the my family and love ones can be saved. Very interesting topic, i will go and read up more about it when i have the time. Been rather updated on readings except for social change and all my non-nm modules..hmmm, that means that i am NOT that updated with my readings except for CME and regulations, i must put more efforts into catching up with my readings, one of this days i must stay in the library and print out all my readings for the Biz mod and also for the archi module then!!

oh yah, bride wars!! I like the show, amidst all the dumb things that they do to each other.

from ruiz's blog again:

Liv is the typical go-getter perfectionist who has everything in control, knowing what she wants and where she is going. Emma on the other hand is the typical nice girl who never know how to say no and takes whatever that is being thrown at her, the seemingly pushover kinda person. And yet amidst all, they understood each other through and through.

I like Kate Hudson and i happen to think that i am her kind of personality kind of person in the show. And i think that that is the kind of person that people know/ believe that i am. Sometimes i think that people think more highly of me than i think of myself. There are times I will say things that once it get out of my mouth i would regret it, but its too late to take them back. Kinda like Liv right? People hate her guts and people just dont like her and beside every Liv, there is a Emma sort of person and i think that i am surrounded with people like Emma, they are all so nice and complete opposites of me!! that's why they make such good friends! hee..and they make me realise where and what my weaknesses are, what would you do without girlfriends? :)

But i think for every Liv, there is a side of her that you dont see, a side of her that is not as strong as who people think that she is. As for me, i thank God for friends who have seen and know this side of me to continue to love me and believe in me. And thank God that He has been there to guide and protect me and encourage me.

hee..one of my "Emma" in my life! :) She wanna plan my wedding- thinking too much!! still a long time to go! hahahha..

I want to make this 2009 count even more, i want it to be so fruitful and so fulfilling that i can look back at the end of the year and know that there is NOTHING possible that i could have squeezed in because i had done my best. Let 2009 be the same for you too! :)

Thought of the week:
There are some things that you need to let go of before you can experience the next BREAKTHROUGH!

What are the things that we need to let go of before we can go on to the next level?

Beats me, maybe i will have my answer soon! :) and i hope that would be soon!! :) i wanna go on to the next level!!

Alright, what a long post, off to readings and prepare for other stuff that is needing my attention.

but before i go:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHAIRUL!!
my friend and pal since primary school! Have a great day! :)

OLDER | NEWER