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Friday, February 03, 2012 // 0 comments
3 weeks, 21 days. But it felt like forever.
Feel as though so much has happened but, its only been three weeks.
Learning how to deal with life without you, I never knew that it is going to be so hard.
You never like to take photos, so this is probably one of the few photos that I have ever taken with you for this 25 years. I wish I could turn back time and "force" you to take more photos with me, but I have came to realise that I cant change the things that I had failed to do.
Packing up the dreams we've dreamed of together. I think I will start with the Eulogy that I wrote for the special service for my special someone.
Here it goes:
I never knew I'll have so much to say, until I started to sit down to think abt what I want to say.
Being a typical Asian man, my Dad doesn't talk much, doesn't openly praise us. But there were many stories he used to share abt how he used to walk from places to places but now I get "chauffeured" around in his taxi. Daddy doesn't like to smile, cos he say that he is "bo gei".
Being a single parent, every single step is a new experience for him. Nevertheless, he tries his best to provide for me throughout my growing up years.
He never remarried, cos he always put me first, worried that a stepmom will not treat me well (must be the effects of all those fairy tales w the evil stepmothers!)
He'll buy my favourite food & even soft toys with the characters I like, yes even after I am all grown up.
Dad loves to watch movies & dramas.
When I was young, the first movies I watched was w my Dad, those were the times when movie tickets are those you circle & tear.
Dad loves to watch movies & dramas.
When I was young, the first movies I watched was w my Dad, those were the times when movie tickets are those you circle & tear.
Nowadays, he'll rent the shows and watch them every night at home after his work.
On one of my birthdays, he rented a show that I wanted to watch & wrote a note there to wish me Happy Birthday.
I think that my love for movies, is definitely under his influence.
Dad doesn't place high expectations on me & don't question the things that I do. He let me choose my own schools, my university courses & (eventually) also the church I attend. He will just sit there whenever I am eating with him & listen to my rantings, even though they were my own decisions. I wld tell him I wanna open my own cafe, and he say he wanna help me "数钞票"。
Before he started driving taxi, he will call me every night to find out my whereabouts. And ask me "早点回来啊！" cos he is always worried that I am not getting enough rest.
Dad doesn't place high expectations on me & don't question the things that I do. He let me choose my own schools, my university courses & (eventually) also the church I attend. He will just sit there whenever I am eating with him & listen to my rantings, even though they were my own decisions. I wld tell him I wanna open my own cafe, and he say he wanna help me "数钞票"。
Before he started driving taxi, he will call me every night to find out my whereabouts. And ask me "早点回来啊！" cos he is always worried that I am not getting enough rest.
When I was in SOT, he'll fetch me to school every morning. And whenever I am out late at night, Dad will fetch me in his taxi from wherever I am at. He even fetch my friends home even though they stay all over Singapore.
I think the proudest moment for him would be the 2 times he saw me put on my graduation gown. Once during SOT & another time at my University gown. Though he might not say, you see his smile as a proud father.
Simple - may be the most appropriate word to describe my dad. He is a man of few words, he may not communicate his care for his siblings through words, but he will always be there for them when they needed him.
Though sometimes he wish that he could provide more for me, he has given more than I could ever wish for. Through my dad, I understood the depths of a father's love, and saw how much God my heavenly father loves me.
2 years ago, I wrote a poem to "Brag About my Dad" in the Father's Day Edition of City News. I gave him a copy of the City News & he kept it till today. It says:
Daddy, You've been the greatest Dad I could wish for, I love you & I always will. I know I will miss you but I know you're in a better place now with Jesus.
I will learn to be strong, I will take care of myself so that I will not become the 熊猫 you say I will be when I always sleep late. 我也因该不会嫁不出去，something you're always worried abt & even ask my members when they visited you.
Thank you Daddy and have fun in heaven till we meet again, counting your gold coins & driving your porsche around. Enjoy your "coffee sessions" w Jesus! I love you Daddy.
I think the proudest moment for him would be the 2 times he saw me put on my graduation gown. Once during SOT & another time at my University gown. Though he might not say, you see his smile as a proud father.
Simple - may be the most appropriate word to describe my dad. He is a man of few words, he may not communicate his care for his siblings through words, but he will always be there for them when they needed him.
Though sometimes he wish that he could provide more for me, he has given more than I could ever wish for. Through my dad, I understood the depths of a father's love, and saw how much God my heavenly father loves me.
2 years ago, I wrote a poem to "Brag About my Dad" in the Father's Day Edition of City News. I gave him a copy of the City News & he kept it till today. It says:
My Dad rarely gives praise or smile
Cares by going the extra mile
Attaches a note to the DVD he rents
Sits quietly listening to my rants
Calls to know my whereabouts
Sits at my graduation feeling proud
Thank you Dad, this you must hear
For all you've done through all these years.
Daddy, You've been the greatest Dad I could wish for, I love you & I always will. I know I will miss you but I know you're in a better place now with Jesus.
I will learn to be strong, I will take care of myself so that I will not become the 熊猫 you say I will be when I always sleep late. 我也因该不会嫁不出去，something you're always worried abt & even ask my members when they visited you.
Thank you Daddy and have fun in heaven till we meet again, counting your gold coins & driving your porsche around. Enjoy your "coffee sessions" w Jesus! I love you Daddy.
***
I know that you are watching over me from heaven, I know that it must ache your heart to see me deal with all these pain. I know that just like God, you wish that you can take them all away from me BUT you wouldn't do it and I know that God wouldn't either. Because, this is a battle that I have to win on my own. This is something that I have to overcome on my own.
I am still learning, every step of the way just seems to be so difficult and so hard. Every place that I go to, everything that I do seems to remind me of you. Remind me of the things I have failed to do for you when you are around. Remind me of the things that I wish I can still do for you. There are times I would forget that you are no longer around, there are times I wish I can call you and just hear your voice.
Countless nights I will just miss you so much that I would cry. I know that you will want me to be strong. I know that no matter what you are still proud of me. I know that you'll always be a part of me, no matter where I may go.
BUT...
整理心情，从新出发 -- 但是，这一切原来是这么难。。。
